I woke my DH up at 4am this morning

Oh Mymble you have reminded me of my DBro when he was very young.
He used to sleep walk and used to freak everyone out by going to dark cupboards/ the windows etc. and pointing at them in a silent and disctinctly disturbing way. The worst time was staying in an ancient cottage very near Dartmoor (think creeping mist and pitch dark nights)
He started sleep walking, walked out to to the landing and started pointing at the door to the attic. So far so normal (for him!). He then started babbling in a really distressing manner, then started screaming! me and my sister started freaking out at this point, my mum was clearly weirded out, it was all very scary!
The bloody sod couldn't remember a thing about it, but for the rest of the holiday me and my sister slept in my mums bed!

Kids are really scary when they sleep walk!

Apparently the other night I was drumming my fists loudly on the headboard and woke DP up!! He asked if I was all right and I apparently told him very sharply that I was fine an why had he woken me up??? He took himself off downstairs to sleep on the sofa!!!

On NYE one year, I was too tired to stay up and see in midnight so had gone up early. DH came upstairs at midnight excited and said "Its midnight!!! " I apparently said "And what?" in a snappy aggressive manner. No recollection at all but he never lets me forget it!

DH is a teacher. He always comes back from residential trips completely wiped out. He once leapt up in consternation shouting "I'll tell you what we HAVEN'T done - cocoa and packing!"

He always gets really angry when I try to persuade him he's actually in bed and talking in his sleep.

DH doesn't talk in his sleep (ever), I do sometimes when I'm ill or really tired.

The only one I can remember is when I was doing 12 hour shifts in a pub, I think I did about 8 in a row over Christmas one year. I woke up pulling a pint (John Smiths if anyone is interested!). As I rolled over to go to sleep, I sighed 'Oh Martin' in a disappointed way.

I remember doing this, don't know why I did it though. I don't even know anyone called Martin!

Thanks to all the talkers (and listeners) on this thread for making me nearly spit a mouthful of coffee all over my laptop!

Like PP, I also have a terrifying DD who used to stand at the end of the bed in silence. Long hair and a nightdress, she looked like something out of a horror film. We never knew how long she's been there when we woke up. Occasionally I would step onto the landing in the middle of the night on my way to the bathroom and she would be standing on the landing silently it's a wonder I manage to get any sleep at all these days, really.

Love this thread!

I posted the other day about my childhood home which was old and large and full of random creaking/tapping noises at night. So generally scary at night anyway. Once my parents were away and DH and I stayed in the house - he woke me in the early hours by sitting up in bed and shouting "GET OUT! OUT!" I was too scared to sleep for the next, ooh two years!

According to DH I sleep talk about food and food shopping quite a lot. To the point where he's unsure whether I am asleep or actually trying to have a conversation with him. He just tends to answer me to cover his arse. Especially if I mention picnics

I posted this on another thread a few days ago but it's worth sharing here as well I think! DH doesn't talk in his sleep, but talks complete rubbish in the first few seconds after waking up suddenly when his alarm goes off. The other day it was "7 letters, 50 bonus points!" so I think he'd been dreaming about Scrabble

'Jesus Christ, I'm like Lord of the Tits!' has made me cry laughing, as has 'Robots will be wanting daggers soon.'

I can't add any, unfortunately, although my parents say that when I was a kid they'd go into my room to tuck me up and I'd sit bolt upright, fast asleep, eyes wide open, and ask quite aggressively if it was time to get up.

They did a lot of easing me gently back down into bed, I think.

Oh, we've also had an exchange to the effect of:

Him: Have you fed the cat?
Me: We don't have a cat, DF.
Him: What am I stroking then?
Me: Pillow (trying not to laugh)
Him: Could you mow the lawn then?
Me: We don't have a garden
Him: Oh. I must be in the wrong house. Is it 1996?

I sleep talk but mostly sleep walk.

Once a sat bolt upright freaking out, shouting that there was an earthquake. Dh was having a wank

I've also had fights with the ketchup man who got ketchup on my skirt.

Lost count of the times that I've got in the dogs bed, shower, or tried to climb into the washing basket.

I'm the same as BadDoGooder DP's - wake me mid sleep and you'll get some beauties out of me. My Mum could have reasonably coherent (if bizarre) conversations with me - DF says I do the same now, but hasn't provided me with any gems so maybe I'm getting boring in my older age.

DF has a habit of laughing as he falls asleep - as in, light off, he falls asleep disgustingly quick and then as I'm drifting, he'll start giggling - like a girl - he says it's usually because he's having video game dreams.

He's also very proficient at farting JUST as I am about to drift off - usually as we're still in a semi-spoon so I'm close enough to feel it They are always brilliant three toned trumps that then make me laugh.

Everyone lies on here about laughing with tears running down their faces, but I'm being totally truthful when I tell you I am doubled over laughing and the tears are streaming at this thread.

DH used to talk loads in his sleep. The best was the time when DS1 was a baby and DH shot up asking where the baby was, I told him he was in his cot and pointed it out at the end of the bed.

He replied loudly "don't fucking tell me where my baby is!"

Well you did ask.

I scream it starts out a low pitch becoming louder, it's weird because I almost know I'm doing it. I'm usually dreaming about ghosts or somebody trying to murder me. Poor dh usually just taps me to wake me up!

i've tried to chivvy dh out of bed apparently

shook him by the elbows and wafted the covers about saying..." out you go...c'mon! Out, Out!!"
He got out for a wee as I was not for giving up, and I was still insisting "out you go ...hurry up!!" when he got back.

Just to add Lord of the Tits is just brilliant!
I wish I had dreams like that!

This thread has made me spit coffee!
DP doesn't spontaneously sleep talk, but if you try to wake him up when he's in a deep sleep you can have fantastic conversations with him.
Genuine sample one from a few weeks ago...

Me: DP, come on up to bed.
DP: No, I can't
Me: Why?
DP: Because otherwise the cats will come, and then there won't be any cheese!
Me: We don't have cats!
DP: (in an ominous voice) No, the other cats. The ones that take things.
Me: Do they steal cheese DP?
DP: No they use it to entrap the micemen.
Me:

He also whimpers in his sleep, it's actually quite distressing to listen to, so I wake him up when he does that!

DH reenacts incredibly long-winded technical issues from work in his sleep, looking for specific bits of equpment, asking me to check screens and read-outs (he always gives me the name of his current assistant) and generally getting tetchy and divaish. He must be hell to work for.

I think I'd quite enjoy a dicussion about nipples on the floor or jack russells for a change.

DH used to sleep talk all the time, it was so much fun. He's stopped now, but ds1 has started (weird genetic switch? Hmm..) I'll go to kiss him goodnight when he's asleep and he'll either punch me in the face or sit bolt upright and say something bizarre. Last night it was "Get off the dog! GET OFF IT!"

We don't have a dog.

Other joys include, "Not you again " Thanks son! "It's too hard, I don't understand it and I won't even try!" "SPIDERS, OH GOD!" "What's red. What, though."

I look forward to it every evening

ProcrastinatorGeneral

How does it look??

I had a friend wake up to another friend pulling her toes, she was dreaming she was taking cigarettes out of a packet. She has also never smoked.

When we were camping I awoke to see a huge rat on the floor by my airbed. I leapt on top of DH's bed screaming trying to tell him there was a rat but unable to form any actual words. I insisted he swop beds with me as his was off the ground. Laid there for a while marveling at my near death experience then came to realise that it was pitch black, I couldn't possibly have seen a rat and must have been dreaming. I still refused to sleep on the airbed again though!

I sleep talk. Or rather, I used to. Since having DD I have stopped. Maybe my sub conscious is too knackered to bother?

Anyway, I once rolled over and said to dp, "mmm CHEWY" in my best sexy voice.

I don't talk that much but I do laugh a lot in my sleep.

I also dream very vividly that I hear the alarm going off so I spring up, get in the shower, let the dog out, put the breakfast on, start getting stuff packed up for the day before I realise its, say, 1am.

One night when I was absolutely knackered I fell straight asleep as soon as I got into bed. . DH was obviously awake next to me. I dreamed that the alarm went off so I sprung up and dashed out of the room for a wee. DH followed me like what the fuck?! Turns out we'd only been in bed 40 minutes and DH hadn't even been to sleep yet