My parents are mad (lighthearted)

My parents are officially crazy cat people.

It all started nearly 10 years ago. There is a colony of feral farm cats near to my aunt's house and my parents adopted two kittens. Whilst they are perfectly happy with my parents, they don't really like anybody else. They especially didn't like dd3 when she was a baby. My parents made it quite plain that we didn't want to ask who came first - cats or grandkids

Then three years ago they adopted two more kittens and tamed them the same. This involves kittens living in a purpose built enclosure for a few weeks whilst my parents sit on chairs outside and talk to them. The male of this pair, in particular, roams far and wide despite being neutered. My parents can't go to bed without finding him. Even if they have to drive around the village in their pjs

The cats have the run of the house. The conservatory alone has 13 cat beds in it. For 4 cats.

Their social life is planned around being 'back for the cats'. My dds are very amused by this obsession fortunately. I live in dread of the day something happens to one of them because I don't know how the parents will cope.

So 4 cats - and then a stray arrived. They mostly ignored him till they could see he was ill at which point they took him to a cat rescue. Said rescue fixed his ailments and then said he was too wild for rehoming. So he came back to live in my parents house, taking over yet another room as a cat domain. My mum said she hoped he would enjoy using the summerhouse but apparently tree branches scratching on the roof put him off because he said it was 'spooky'

They have no snacks in the house and switch everything off as well.........

My Mum smokes but wants to "cut down". As an incentive, she writes down the time of each cigarette in a school exercise book (four columns to each page). It has no effect on the amount she smokes but she has books and books of random times in columns that she refuses to chuck out.

My Dad insists on opening all the downstairs curtains before he goes up to bed (even if you're still up). Something to do with closed curtains during the day symbolising a death in the family - though this is irrelevant since they have a heavily wooded garden so no one can see the windows.

Toddler children used to get told off for dropping their (mini) suitcases & toys down the stairs (usually by mistake) but the new cat is "amusing" for chewing great lumps of the wall paper off the same walls.

My mum is totally addicted to her mobile / FB but regularly posts links about rude people using their mobiles inappropriately - this is the woman who once stopped talking to us in one restaurant, in order to review a different one on Trip Advisor.

Buying nice presents for people random times of the year & then buying you something odd or small on actual b'days - her best one was the beautifully wrapped (& huge) box for DD1's 7th b'day that turned out to be a summer-weight duvet!! DD1 got an extra b'day present for not saying the child equivalent of WTF for this one - it was made worse by wrapping it!

An obsession with different weights of duvet - they have (a relatively small) holiday home which they visit about five times a year - there are three different weights of super-king-sized duvets taking up most of the storage in their room so they can have exactly the correct one on the bed, whatever the time of year.

Love them dearly but....

You can't argue with that logic CandO!

Not parents but.

During uni I worked in a cafe. Every day a women would turn up, order breakfast but ask for it not to be brought out till she had finished her cuppa. Half an hour later a chap would come in, order his breakfast and sit with her. I assumed they met up with each other for a chat etc.

When I worked once during the week I was talking to one of the week day staff who told me that these two actually live together but since he likes an extra half hour in bed she insisted he had to meet her there rather than wait for him and come in the same car. Also I found out she liked a drink before food and him during so it saved on argument and him having cold tea?

When my DGM was alive her old washing machine, circa 1950, finally died, we got her an second hand automatic one..showed her how to use it..., she complained it did was far 'messier than her old one' some time later whilst at hers she put a load in turned it on, looked at the wall clock...then 10 minutes later turned it off at the plug...We were she then put lots of towels down and opened the door! ..we were 'what are you doing?' Her response..'well 10 minutes is quite long enough'

I took over doing her washing!

I went on a city break to Paris with my mum a few years ago. She had this huge case with her that I lugged all over the underground.

We were staying in a lovely little hotel.

I realised that night why her case was so heavy. From home, for a two night stay in a hotel, she had brought an electric kettle and a bottle of (French) red wine..... All the way from the UK

Absolutely crying at the mum buying a corkscrew for Shane & Angel!

I can sympathise with the PP who's parents bring them stuff they don't want-I was recently given a half eaten Pannetone, despite never, ever having eaten one before or even expressed an interest in one. DH asked her if her bin was broken . I suspect it comes from living with my brother, who can't stand any clutter or unnecessary mess, so moans at her to get rid of it. So instead of telling him where to go & that she likes whatever it is she's bought, or maybe just not buying 2 emoji cushions at £15 a pop (!!!!!!!), she gives it all to us. Us, the family of 4 in a 2 bed house, who are currently undergoing massive home renovations and don't have room for stuff we actually do want, let along gimmicky cushions and half eaten baked goods.

honeyharris I lI've your dad's stealth gardening, brilliant!

My mum has a friend who rings her to say how nice my photo on Facebook is 😲

My mother asked if I could fix her telly the other day, because it keeps showing the same programmes. The reason it does that is because she only watches ITV3, which is essentially endless repeats of Morse, Lewis, Midsomer Murders, Foyle and similar. She couldn't get it that there's not much that I can do about it, or that she could maybe try other channels. To be fair, she is 90.

This is definitely the funniest thread I've ever seen on MN.

Shortening a bed.

Years ago,after Christmas, mother noticed she'd lost her wedding ring.loads of searching through the bin bags, no ring.Dog appears with a carcass, which we all screamed and assumed was a dearly loved, long gone pet that he'd dug up.No, it was the turkey carcass that mother had buried in the garden! She found the ring in the carcass, it had fallen off when the stuffing was being added!

My dad carries secateurs in his jacket pocket so he can trim hedges and trees that overhang onto the pavement as he passes. He proudly showed me examples of his local handiwork. Kind of stealth gardening.

My mum has never used an ATM in case something 'goes wrong' and she loses their money.

My mum used to turn the answering machine on at night, meaning that if the phone rang and you didn't get it on the first ring, your conversation would be transmitted to the house. Not ideal when you are a teenager in the pre mobile phone days!

This backfired sadly once when my grandma called at 2am once to tell us that grandad had died (my mums dad). I answered the phone in my room, but picked up too late, so my mum found out her dad had died via the answer phone in the hallway

Now she ins OBSESSED with petrol prices. She points out the prices at every station when you are driving with her, and texts me to tell me to drive to suburb X as gas is 10c per litre cheaper there! Forgetting that I drove a giant thirsty car, and the amount it would cost me to drive to X would wipe out a chunk of the gas savings. Not to mention the 2 hours out of my day it would take.

cabbage you know what, I think I just might be...?

My Mum is fascinated by gay people too. She refuses to believe it might be genetic and thinks 'normal' people can be 'turned' in the right circumstances e.g. she stoutly blames my friend's parent divorcing as the reason my friend is now gay.

Dp's grandparents don't like driving in low light. They'll visit for one night but leave stupidly early because of this. We missed seeing them near Christmas because it was foggy so they left. It was 2 in the afternoon.

Just remembered one about a friends dad.while driving downhill, turn the engine on to freewheel and save petrol

Thanks SDTG. I have done that now, hope MNHQ agree!

You click on 'Report' by your post, Nadia, and in the dialogue box that comes up, tell MNHQ that you are reporting the thread because you think it is worthy of Classics - which I agree, it is.

My dear old Pop used to pull his car out of the garage with a chain. With a chain. This was because driving it out then turning it off while he went back into the house to collect my Mum and shopping bags and then turning it on again would put a 'strain' on the engine. He was in his 70's.

He also would write the date that he changed the battery on his bedside clock on the back of the clock to 'check which batteries lasted longest'. There was a lovely little list of them over the years.

He also washed, hung out and reused clingfilm.

His favourite read was the latest Damart catalogue.

I miss him.

So many great quotes in here.

'Your dad doesn't like a long bed.'

'The dog (who is a boy) is definitely the love of my dad's life'.

etc.

Love it! How do you recommend a thread to go in Classics?

My mum has that front door key obsession too. In fact health and safety is a topic very close to her heart. She sees the danger in everything and loves to warn me about things, especially now I have a toddler.

Whore Are you me?!

My mum's crackers. My mum lives next door to a single gay man.

She rings me every time she sees him to tell me where she saw him, what he was doing and speculate on where he was going. Crucially, to also tell me what he wearing and whether he looked 'very gay' or 'quite normal'.

If she sees him out and about before 10am she calls me to let me know that she saw him coming home from a one-night stand.
On Tuesday at 9:40am dressed in trackie bottoms carrying a pint of milk? I don't think so mother, I think he just went to the shop.

A couple of years ago I went to my friends same-sex wedding. My mum genuinely asked whether either of the grooms knew her neighbour. They live about 300 miles apart.