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Original poster

My parents are mad (lighthearted)

312 replies

FellOutOfBedTwice · 04/02/2016 04:50

Okay so it's 4.30am and I can't sleep because my parents are quite mad.

I am pregnant and suffering from morning sickness as well as having had some bleeding for the last couple of weeks. My husband is away with work this week and when me and toddler DD caught heavy colds it became clear that I couldn't look after us both, so we've come to stay with my (very lovely, it has to be said) parents.

They live a three minute drive from us so we never ever stay. As such I haven't been here overnight- aside from one Christmas when I got pissed some years ago and the night before my Nans funeral- since I left for uni.

In that 15 years my parents seem to have gone a bit potty in a way that I didn't notice without staying over.

Examples-

  • the broadband gets switched off at bedtime (ie 10pm). When I queried this, my Dad said its a fire hazard. Do people do this? Our broadband has been on constantly since we moved into our house in 2010. How would it record sky otherwise?!
  • bedtime, as mentioned, is 10pm. Like a weird lodging house from 1973 we are all expected to have retired to our room by then.
  • I am in the spare room, in the spare bed. I noticed that the bed was a bit short. My feet touch the footboard. When I queried this my Mum said "your Dad sawed the end off to shorten it. He doesn't like a long bed." WHAT?! He's not a tall man- 5ft 9ish- but that's mental. I'm 5ft 8... I don't think anyone much taller could sleep in it. The room is not small and my Dad doesn't routinely sleep in it, so he's ruined a bed for no reason.
  • my Mum has a washing turn around time of maybe 2hours from washing basket to ironed. Honestly, it's mental. She asked if I had anything of mine and DDs to wash. Gave her a pile of washing and it was back and clean and pressed on my bed within two hours tops.
  • we had to sit in silence for the duration of Midsomer Murders.
  • despite being absolutely filthy rich, they don't have sky upstairs, decent toiletries (I'm talking Tesco Value Hair Spray) or contract mobiles (they burn through credit like 13 year old girls in 2001) because "there's no need".
  • when my morning sickness struck I wandered into the kitchen and asked my Dad what the had that was "plain, dry and maybe crunchy" ie a cracker or rich tea biscuit. After much hunting the only thing in their kitchen that even touched that description was some celery. They had just had their shopping delivered but tend to "not eat snacks" said my Dad. There's not eating snacks and then there's just being weird.

Parents are mid sixties and clearly barking.

Tell me I'm not alone.

OP posts:
Original poster
FellOutOfBedTwice · 04/02/2016 10:30

Afford not addled!

OP posts:
Original poster
FellOutOfBedTwice · 04/02/2016 10:29

Wagglebees the sky/payg mobile comment was more in relation to how much money I know they have. They're well off. Very well off. I think it's that post war make do and mend thing they had growing up- it's a mind set they've not got out of. I just think at their age and with their money, it would be nice for them to have some nice things. Of course if you can't addled it its sensible, but they definitely can. My Dad would love to watch sky in bed- and I know my Mum would enjoy the occasional Lush bath bomb rather than Tesco value bubble bath.... It's just a mind set that they have to keep saving for a rainy day, I think.

OP posts:
Wagglebees · 04/02/2016 10:22

*isn't a contract.

Wagglebees · 04/02/2016 10:22

The 10pm light out thing is annoying though.

Wagglebees · 04/02/2016 10:21

None of that sounds that barking tbh. Apart from the bed thing, that is baffling.

I don't see anything wrong with not having sky or having payg phones. My phone is a contract and we don't have sky. I'm mid 30s and fairly normal.

Original poster
FellOutOfBedTwice · 04/02/2016 09:29

Sort of want to take a pic of the boys pad now but as it is definitely the only one in the country and will absolutely out me!

OP posts:
CMOTDibbler · 04/02/2016 09:10

My parents have always been a bit bonkers tbh - alas these days my mum has dementia though. But in earlier years:

  1. My dad wanted some ducks. Previously ducks had trashed the garden so there was a duck ban. He smuggled in fertile duck eggs, put them under a hen, and then made sure he was the one who collected the eggs for weeks till they hatched. My mum then ignored the ducklings totally for the next 6 months till someone stole them as they shouldn't be there.
  2. Dad decided to grow some hemp plants 'just because he wondered what they would look like'. Unsuprisingly, someone took those too.
  3. Lights went out at 10 whatever anyone else was doing. Should you want to stay up, you had to switch everything back on (mum still does this, alas at 7.30 and dad sits in the dark)
  4. Every Christmas dad would go to his cousins and get a christmas tree - usually 2 weeks before christmas. Mum would then spend the next 10 days complaining at him that he had to go and get one, never looking in the garden to see the stonking great tree
HixieRice · 04/02/2016 08:59

I really really want a tiny victorian manor house now, and I don't even have a cat!

Gobletofgin · 04/02/2016 08:56

Love it, my cats would love a boys pad I would like one in my garden

Original poster
FellOutOfBedTwice · 04/02/2016 08:46

Actually- now I think of it- and see it out of the kitchen window- signs of my Dads eccentricity have been there for a while. Last year he modified and painted a large rabbit hutch to look like a Victorian Manor House for the cats. He put a chimney on it and everything. He calls it "the boys pad"
Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
FellOutOfBedTwice · 04/02/2016 08:44

I'm glad to not be alone.

To those asking how the mattress fits the bed- it's a short mattress. Apparently they come in a 5ft 10 option and that's the option he likes. Their bed is apparently the same.

They do a lot of weird things but this is the weirdest and I'm glad so many of you agree!

OP posts:
tangerinesarenottheonlyfruit · 04/02/2016 07:58

FellOutOfBedTwice MIL does the broadband thing. SIL ppints it out to me if I forget to turn it off when we stay (am usually last to bed).

tangerinesarenottheonlyfruit · 04/02/2016 07:55

fastingmum123 your Nan sounds great :)

Fluffycloudland77 · 04/02/2016 07:55

I think it's more that the fridge needs to be on, it won't keep below 8c if you switch it off.

Agent160 · 04/02/2016 07:55

I love these stories of parents/grandparents who think you know everyone because my Nan is the complete opposite - she doesn't think I know who anyone is! So will start a story by explaining "Aunty Betty's has a son, John. Well, his son Daniel..." I know who Daniel is (and John!) - I've seen them both 4 or 5 times a year for the last 25 years - I have good friends that I see less often!!

NickNacks · 04/02/2016 07:48

These people always trust the fridge though! No one ever unplugs the fridge in case of fire!

Fluffycloudland77 · 04/02/2016 07:40

I turn the hub off if I'm out and at night. No snacks in the house either & most bath stuff is smart price in Aldi or bought in bulk on offer.

I'm only 38 so there is little hope for me Grin

fastingmum123 · 04/02/2016 07:33

We its to early got it right the first time lol.

fastingmum123 · 04/02/2016 07:32

Meant to say 20th great great grandchild

Quietlifenotonyournelly · 04/02/2016 07:32

Ha ha yes, my MIL turns EVERYTHING off before she goes to bed at 10pm. She came to stay a while back and I'd left the computer on in the spare room which she was stopping in to update, she just unplugged it!
Thankfully no damage was done.
Weirdly though, the alarm clock somehow seems not to be a fire hazard like everything else Confused

Gobbolino6 · 04/02/2016 07:31

Woe not wow!

fastingmum123 · 04/02/2016 07:31

My other Nan who is now no longer with us was mad as a box of frogs I always put it down to her having 11 children.

She once told me the reason she remarried at the age of 79 was because she couldn't live without sex. Not something you want to know at 15.

She taught the cat to use the door knocker so they could let it in.

She refused to use anything but powdered milk in tea even if we brought our own normal milk round.

Told people off for swearing while swearing like a trucker herself.

She used to have a room with all the picture of her many grandchildren (my oldest dd was her 20th great grandchild) and if you asked who any of them where she'd look at them for a while and say "how the hell would I know?"

Gobbolino6 · 04/02/2016 07:30

I think nothing is particularly barking apart from sawing the bed.
My parents are normal and never have any snacks in the house.
Everything is tidied/ironed immediately...I think after years of rushing round after kids cleaning is easier once they've left.
Wow betide you if you speak over the cricket commentary
Mind you, my mum gave me a pair of her trousers the other day and I couldn't work out the size...turns out she cuts all the size labels out of her clothes because 'it's embarrassing '...so maybe she is barking.

DoctorTwo · 04/02/2016 07:21

"He doesn't like a long bed" :o

Pointlessfan · 04/02/2016 07:21

Yes that's exactly it! She also refers to people who I have known my whole life by both names e.g. You know Jane Rodgers... But that's progress from my nan who referred to every, even close friends, by their title e.g. I saw Mrs Smith yesterday...