My parents are mad (lighthearted)

Killing myself laughing at the trail of cheese for the mouse

My parents do the unplugging everything routine too, but not just at night, every time they go out. So just popping to the paper shop (2 mins down the road) involves the whole unplugging shebang. Apart from the DVD player, which must never be unplugged because they don't know how to reset the clock

There's also the newly (3 years ago) paved driveway which no-one is allowed to park on in case they spoil it.

Oh and all doors must be kept locked at all times (even when at home) lest a burglar walk in and steal everything. When I'm packing the car up after staying with them I lug a suitcase out to the car, go back to the house to get a second one and discover that I've been locked out.

Lovely thread. I dread to think what my DD would write about me.
Well I have a good idea and it would make me feel ridiculous.

Ha ha ha!All my gels are on here again!

We have to concentrate hard during Midsomer,we are saving electricity,so switch off plugs and 2 hours turnaround for laundry is just about correct!

Derek, damn straight are there thieves living in the internet,so just order the things on your card,cheeky one!

LOL!!just you all wait Mr.Higgins!!

To be fair, my microwave did once turn itself on and cause a fire so I can understand the paranoia and I'm sure it had nothing to do with the massive water leak which occurred all over the back of it first

My DM had a meter fitted and became obsessed with saving water. To the extent that you'd go over there and EVERY spare receptacle in the kitchen had been utilised to collect the water which was being wasted when she waited for the hot tap to run. When I asked her what she was going to use it for, she'd usually say something about watering the garden. In Autumn. When it was pissing down.

My parents think that anything Swedish inspired is superior.

If they ever actually slept in their spare room they'd quickly tire of a non standard mattress that doesn't fit the frame, covered by a duvet that's too long and wide for its cover, enhanced by a square pillow inside a standard case.

'but it's from Ikeaaaaaaa'

I love a these, just gorgeous! My mum is adamant about taking the aerial out of the tv in a thunderstorm, tbf though she knew someone whose house set alight after the aerial got hit by lightning and I saw our neighbours aerial get hit and blow all their electrics so I now do the same (only if there's a storm though). My granny was a bit bonkers though, would write what she'd eaten in pencil on her Formica countertop if she'd eaten anything out of date (which was often), so that if she died we'd know what did it.

Weirdly, I love most of these habits and think your parents sound delightful. (Apart from the bed bit. That is indeed bonkers).

I moved in with my mum when I had a pregnancy issue and thought the following might amuse you...

• the shower cabinet couldn't be used as it made it dirty. Only sit baths allowed
• there was a microwave but it sat unplugged and with the door open, lest it turn itself on and cause a fire
• every plug and socket in the house was turned off at around 2230. The hub, the cooker, the lamps. Not the fridge, it was triple checked the door was shut
• no snacks either other than savers biscuits as they are "too disgusting" to eat

I could go on and on.

After my trip, my mum commented she was pleased she had been able to offer me a relaxing place to stay for a few days

Before my daughter's birthday a couple of years ago my MIL mentioned on the phone that she wanted to speak to my daughter on her birthday and what time should she phone.
My H explained that on that day it was a school night and we wouldn't be in much before about 5.50pm. So MIL says 'OK, I'll phone at 5.50pm'
H says 'Well we'll just be getting in then, why not phone at 6, give us a chance to get in and take our coats off'

MIL's reply 'Oh no, I can't phone at 6, that's when we have our tea!'

They're retired, she can have her tea any time she likes.
She also won't pay more than £10 for a new handbag.

The sawing the bed, cheese trail and pretending to not have coffee are hilarious

I have a sleeping child on me who is in danger of being woken up as I keep laughing so much.

The sawn off bed and trial of chee are hilarious!

How on earth do people manage to wash dry and iron their clothes in two hours?

My dad is bonkers too! I stayed with him for a month when I was in my early 40s, and had sold one house but my new one was not quite ready to move into. He took some persuading to allow me a front door key, but insisted even then that if I went out I had to be back by 10.30pm, because at that time (straight after the news on TV) he always double locked and bolted the door and went to bed. All electrical items (except the fridge) were turned off and unplugged in a carefully planned routine at bedtime. He was most put out that I wanted to shower every morning - twice a week was perfectly sufficient he claimed. My bed had to be made every morning - sheets and blankets, military style, everything perfect - and all my clothes hung up or put away and the bedroom door left open when I went out so he could inspect it. If I was in during the day, coffee was at 10.30am precisely, and tea at 4.30pm precisely; if I suggested making a drink at 10.00 or 4.00 for example, "can't you wait until coffee/tea time"? Or if I suggested one at 11.00, "Why didn't you have a drink at coffee time"?

I don't think he's ever sawn the end off a bed though - so maybe there's hope!

I'm sure things weren't like this when I was a kid - maybe my mum (who died some years ago) used to keep him under control!

I'm in my mid-fifties.
I shut down the PC at night - though hub stays connected.
I'll often go to bed at 10.
I don't have Sky anywhere.
Toiletries - soap, bubble bath - are supermarket own brand. No hairspray.
I have a PAYG ancient mobile.
Since my daughter went off to university there are usually no biscuits/snacks.
I do however have a habit that some people would regard as extravagant. (Not saying what it is.)

Gosh, I would love for there to be silence in our house during Midsomer Murders! Maybe I'd actually be able to follow the plot then. That part seems eminently sensible, imo.

No comment on the rest, especially the shortened bed!

My parents used to unplug the TV power lead and aerial lead every night - they thought that, if there was a thunderstorm, and lightening struck the aerial, the TV would explode and set fire to the house. The electric cooker and the kettle got unplugged too - but strangely the fridge and freezer were considered utterly trustworthy (thanks for that joke, Michael Macintyre).

I don't think mum still goes round unplugging stuff at night - but she refuses point blank to have a microwave, because she doesn't want something emitting radiation in the corner of her kitchen. But she managed to buy a ready meal that was microwave only, and then fretted on the phone to me about whether it would 'work' to heat it up in a pan.

I am so glad that, when she moved house, she decided to live near dsis, not me - she is nice, but such hard work.

at the mouse

We don't have sky either and could afford it. It's just never been something we are bothered about. We also have only one tv in the house.

My mil is slightly crazy she has been wearing the same trainers for years they are so worn they have a hole in but in her house she has a whole room full of shoe boxes full of brand new shoes.

I once put a knife through my hand stupidly trying to get burgers apart (I don't even eat them which made it more annoying) they came round to mil and her partner came round to watch the children while I went to hospital. When I got back all stitched up they told me that they had thrown the knife away in the big communal bins and put the burgers that had been soaked in my blood and thrown on the floor back in the freezer. When I asked why they had thrown my knife away they said "because it was dirty!" The mind boggles!

My parents once saw a mouse in their kitchen. Instead of going with one of the many options you'd normally expect in this situation (trap, humane trap, poison, calling pest control, standing on chair sceaming, ignoring in the hope the problem will miraculously disappear etc etc), they opened the back door and laid a trail of cheese from where they last saw it to the door so it could find its way out. That was the moment I realised they were completely mad.

My MIL won't have a mobile phone because "they track you with it" but has a tablet with a 4g simcard in it that she takes everywhere......

She hates flying over the sea, reckons the land would be better to crash into ....

And she won't fly further than Europe unless me, DH and DD's are with her because "then if we do crash and die, at least we all go together"

I do love my MIL.

The bed thing is great. My mother is bonkers. I can't think where to start...

Love "he doesn't like a long bed"
I actually spluttered and cried a little bit while reading that