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Original poster

Pointless soul destroying ongoing fights with inanimate objects

369 replies

HoneyDragon · 24/11/2015 19:36

The compost bin provided by the council. The bastard. I spent a painful 5 minutes trying to wrestle that fucker shut today before I realised the handle had slipped under the hinge. I won in the end but the fuckers still looking smug in the utility room.

And EVERYTHING in my understairs cupboard works on a rota to pick a fight with me. Sometimes the vacuum and ironing board work together to get me.

What intimate object regularly picks fights with you?

Have you ever finally emerged victorious?

OP posts:

Thread gallery

MyVisionsComeFromSoup · 02/12/2015 11:29

Mrsjayy your hoodhat has meant that everyone in my office now knows I wasn't doing any work and was reading MN . The sniggering-causing bastard

AlisonWunderland · 02/12/2015 11:08

My favourite post on here is the long list of household objects and how they piss their owner off, followed by "I get on quite well with the toaster"

OhSoggyBiscuit · 01/12/2015 22:26

Woohoo, I have a post in a Classics thread!!!

Last night I spent 10 minutes wrestling a duvet back into the right shape inside it's cover whilst calling it every name under the sun. My duvet and I go way back.

Motheroffourdragons · 01/12/2015 22:20

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ on behalf of the poster.

MovemberSucks · 01/12/2015 20:48

Is there any more to that story hudyer, a complete transcript of the phonecall that the mother had to make to the zoo perhaps? Was the child barred for life, or just followed closely by security the next time he went?

SilentBob · 01/12/2015 16:47

my local Morrisons store yesterday told me there was a 'surprising item in the bagging area' which I definitely wasn't expecting to hear!

hudyerwheesht · 01/12/2015 12:41

Re the unexpected penguin - I know someone whose grandson managed to get a small penguin out of a zoo. No idea how but when his mum unpacked his (wriggling) backpack out it popped. Definitely nothing more unexpected.

MsAdorabelleDearheartVonLipwig · 01/12/2015 12:02

Oh well done HQ.

OnlyLovers · 01/12/2015 11:28

YES!
Thanks HQ.

MNHQ

BeccaMumsnet · 01/12/2015 11:09

Hi everyone - we've had quite a few nominations to move this one over to Classics so we're going to pop it over there now.

gatewalker · 01/12/2015 09:12

Did you know there's a word for this?

Resistentialism

Not that I looked it up because it happens to me all the fucking time.

Mydearchild · 01/12/2015 08:11

Ha I hadn't scrolled down to see all the other Henry lovers/ haters. Dh bought one a few weeks ago and thinks it's ace. I think it's crap!

Mydearchild · 01/12/2015 08:10

The bastard that is Henry. I hate him. I wrestle with him daily and shout at him but it makes little difference he is still a cumbersome pain in the ass

MrsJayy · 01/12/2015 08:07

I bought a jacket in mountain warehouse last year with the flimsiest hood ever i ended up ripping taking it off it never stayed up and the zip holding it on would unzip itsself so id end up wearing a hoodhat

TheRattleBag · 30/11/2015 23:54

I keep thinking of more..... this weekend's rage inducer was the hood on my waterproof coat. It annoyed me when I bought it, 'cos despite being a supposedly decent make (Barbour), the detachable hood was held on with the three mimsiest press-studs you've ever seen, so if you looked at it too vigorously, it fell off.

Soon fixed those tricks (well DM did!) by putting buttons on it. But now it just gets in the way of everything. If it hadn't been bucketing down all weekend I'd have taken the fecker off. But instead I had to put up with it getting tangled in my handbag strap every sodding minute. And then no being able to put it up when I needed it. Or get my handbag off me. Argh.

And don't even get me started on the way the press-studded inner cuffs pop open just when you don't want them to......

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 30/11/2015 22:00

Away In A Manger
Noooo hoooovering he does,
That bastard Henry Hoover,
Lays down on his side.

Doesn't entirely scan, but you get the idea.

Pointless soul destroying ongoing fights with inanimate objects

munkisocks · 30/11/2015 19:22

My DH. He's inanimate as he barely gets off his arse!

I had a fight with a bottle holder in the fridge. Also with a plastic jug. Victorious with both. My DH still thinks I "dropped" them. Silly boy, they wouldn't have smashed into so many pieces just being dropped

donajimena · 30/11/2015 19:20

I have 3 henrys 1 hetty and a baby. I think they are ace!

PigeonPie · 30/11/2015 19:09

I saw a Henry for sale on one of our local Facebook selling sites earlier - thought of this thread and decided I didn't want one!

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 30/11/2015 18:55

Awwwww. A baby Hetty. ,

donajimena · 30/11/2015 18:47

This is what happens if you leave Hetty and Henry unsupervised

AlisonWunderland · 30/11/2015 16:28

So even fancy pants dysons dont do stairs

That's because they are the bastard offspring of a Dalek and a Hetty

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 30/11/2015 15:22

What nasty, suspicious minds they have. Unasseptable.

Original poster

HoneyDragon · 30/11/2015 13:47

SDTG you know me well enough to know I would if I could.

I already get followed around birdland when I take the kids, ever since they caught me measuring the wall, asking how high penguins can jump and if one did happen to disappear would they class it as an escapee rather than stolen. Suspicious over protective bastards.

OP posts:

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 30/11/2015 13:40

I have a lovely mental picture of HoneyDragon marching into her local Sainsburys, with a penguin under her arm, plonking it in the baby seat of the trolley whilst she does her shopping, dealing with its tantrum when she wont buy it mackerel from the fish counter, and then laughing maniacally as she puts it in the bagging area and watches the self service till have a complete breakdownM

All this with an innocent, nothing-to-see-here expression on her face (up to the maniacal laughing bit).

PS - please can we have a penguin smiley, MNHQ - pretty please?!

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