things I didn't know I found annoying until I had children.

From when mine were younger, the constant 'why'. Especially ds1, he used to do it repetitively for extended periods in response to anything you said to him. Made me faintly murderous.

Mine are older now but there is still a tone on 'mum' or 'mummy' that means they have forgotten something I'm expected to instantly sort that fills me with absolute dread. It could be something simple or impossible to sort but the tone indicates I'm expected to make it all better. Sometimes it just makes me want to run......

Oh my God the turn-taking, for the love of God the turn-taking

Ooh yes, tapping. DS cracks his fingers. One By One. Constantly. And DD repeatedly taps out a rapid tune with her long nails on the kitchen worktop. It really does drive me utterly insane.

Actually adults also tap a lot. Fil sits and bangs his heels on the hard floor for the entire time of his visit AND taps his walking stick on the same hard floor. It is also a stick that rattles (think it's an adjustable one), so I get tapping shoes, and a tapping, rattling stick for about two hours. No-one else appears to notice it - just me!

(Not to mention people clicking pens when they're concentrating). But now I'm deviating. As you were ... annoying children.

Yes, how long before...

How long til dinner? How long til Max is here?

Usually asked 1h after lunch or at 7am if Max is due after dinner.

"How long before dinner's ready?"

"Are we nearly there yet?" - when we're a mile up the road and have 180 more to go

Tapping.

children tap a lot.

Thomas the tank engine. I did not think I was capable of such hatred

The 'You do it Mummy.' For everything. I think DS1 would actually get me to eat his dinner for him if he could. He is destined for a great career in management...

"What's for dinner?"

Having someone trail after you everywhere in the house like ducklings trail mother duck. To the kitchen, the bedroom, the kitchen again, the bin and then looking hurt when you close the bathroom door on them.

Oh, and the morning routine. Every day it's the same. At 8.40 we put shoes and a coat on, pick up the nursery bag, walk out of the door, walk the 200yds to nursery, go in, put shoes in the box under the hooks, hang up coat, take indoor shoes out of bag, put them on, hang up bag.

Every morning, somewhere in those 200yds, he forgets how to work his shoes, coat zip and the velcro on his bag. It then takes at least five full minutes to do something he repeats in 20 seconds when we get home again. I can feel myself being judged when I stand there ignoring his pleas of "Can you help me mummy?" while everyone else is changing their kids' shoes for them. No. Not only have nursery asked us to teach them to do it themselves, he bloody did it himself four minutes ago!

I think it is far easier to hold down a job than to look after children all day long without a break. At least if you work you get a break from it albeit you come home tired....

Men have it far easier in that they invariably don't take years off the world of work and in the process stitch up their cv their national insurance and pensions. They are also not cut off from the human race like most women who take time off from their jobs and make sacrifices for their children.

Motherhood only really benefits men not women if you ask me lol. Nice though it is it is relentless and grossly undervalued. Women should be applauded and not overlooked sidelined or considered to be 'doing nothing' whilst looking after their children and bringing up future generations. They after all will be the future MP's, the future GP;s and the future teachers of the future ......

If it was men who did the childraising and the women went out to work then the world of parenting would be deemed a very praiseworthy act of sacrifice indeed.

And they say equality exists pah I doubt it lol.

And why was it always "Mum" shouted in the middle of the night for nightmare/wet bed? Dad was lying right next to me (but of course never got up because they were shouting for Me).

20yr old DS opens fridge, peers in forlornly and asks "What is there to eat Mum" STILL - AT 20!!!

I have to admit I now just shoot him a look and say something like "Stand there long enough and something will jump out at you, I'm sure"

Gods yes the touching. My poor husband was convinced I'd gone off him at one point. I haven't, I just couldn't physically bear to be touched after a day with the clingy toddler and refluxy velcro baby. He still doesn't understand why I shut them all out of the kitchen when he gets home and I'm cooking.

Fidgeting/poking/kicking when I do agree to being sat on.

Being followed to the toilet and quizzed on my activities in there.

Blocking and, 18mo DD's favourite trick, squeeze between mummy and the cupboard/oven/pan drawers/work top while she's using sharp things, hot things and heavy things. Scream if I'm kicked/shouted at or knocked over.

Fettling. DH does this as well. If I've set the washing machine/dryer/dishwasher/dehumidifier or left something in the oven/on the hob or set the fire, put a pile of clothes aside in the children's bedrooms etc, SOMEONE will come along and change the settings, empty the bag, stir the sauce, turn the oven down, close the door etc. Drives me batshit. I know the kids are doing it out of curiosity/general childish idiocy but DH is bloody 30 and should know better.

Dd2 talks to me when shes upstairs and Im down. I can't fecking hear you.

Having to talk to people on the school run. sometimes I enjoy it, sometimes I want an unvisability cloak.

The teenage requests, endless! Money, bras, lifts yada yada

GreenPotato I am terribly politically correct and interchange Mummies/Daddies in all such verses. So both the mummies and the daddies say I love You, and DC1 would not let me do it otherwise now. The black sheep has wool for boys AND girls.

There is one nursery rhyme that annoys me because it contains my first name, but it's one of those that has been altered over the years to have completely different words (it didn't have my name in when I was a child). I just use my DCs' names instead.

Stuggling to get boots and shoes onto small feet!

I don't mind the touching at all funnily enough. Here it is still needing to wipe a 5- and 6-y old's bottom after a poo (yes they are quite capable of doing it themselves when I can't, they just prefer not to when I'm around), the constant blocking of my way like a PP said, and the ENDLESS procrastination at bed time. As soon as they hear the words "Bed time" they suddenly get absorbed in a very time consuming and engaging art project/game/whatever. Then it is one thing after another when my energy is at its lowest ebb.

YY to the touching/tapping/poking. And the blocking (especially when augmented by two cats and abloodyhusband)

And starting every single sentence with "Mum". Even when we're the only two people in the vicinity.

"Mum? Are we going to be late?"
"Mum. Look at me."
"Mum. Have you got my bag?"
"Mum. Look at this."

Etc etc. FFS STOP SAYING MUM. Just say what you want to say. I hate my name. Don't use it any more!

The questions. The constant questions. Before dd1 hit three I'd silently judge disinterested parents I'd see out and about who were clearly not listening to their childrens' questions and think how awful it was they were quashing their sense of curiosity.

Why do we need money mummy?
How do I make Elsa out of loom bands mummy?
What's the difference between a biscuit and a macaron? (dd1 obsessed with gbbo ffs)
Why are you still doing 70 mph mummy when it says "slow down, incident" mummy?
Why is your office such a mess mummy?
Why do we need money again mummy?
How do I put Netflix on mummy?
WHY IS NETFLIX NOT WORKING MUMMY?
Why have you let dd2 use up all the Internet mummy?
WHY IS NETFLIX NOT WORKING MUMMY? MUMMY MUMMY MUMMYMUMMYMUMMY MUUUUUM WHY IS NETFLIX NOT WORKING MUMMY?

Dd2 is still at the phase of asking cute questions.

Other people's singing never really annoyed me before I had children. Probably because you could switch it off or shoot a look that meant "you are doing my head in, please be quiet".

DD1 5yrs does a particular line in self penned "songs" which go on and on for 20 mins. Bless her, she has her mother's tuneless voice. I am not sure whether to crush her dreams now or sign her up for vocal lessons with someone made of stern stuff....

The amount of times I have to repeat simple things that they ALREADY KNOW. Like stand by the sink so you aren't dripping bloody toothpaste everywhere, put your socks on as part of getting dressed etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc!

The constant bickering, arguing and not being able to occupy the same space without it descending into chaos! I end up screaming at them. I don't know why. It makes zero difference. I can't believe I wanted 4 children and a happy chaotic home. Think I'll stick with the 2 and the chaos that brings.

The constant talking from DD, and I mean constant. It is the first thing her teacher said to me at parents evening. The constant commentary from DS about whatever he is doing/reading. Seriously DS, I don't care after the first few facts. Seriously DS, when I tell you to stop giving me a running commentary, stop bloody talking about it!