things I didn't know I found annoying until I had children.

the mixing together play doh making it a horrible brown poo colour

ds totally spoilt the play doh cakes, fruit and aliens i made by mashing it all together to make a big poo ball and expected me to be impressed

chocolate One of mine will go "I shut you out!" and put her hand up to block the other one. Then the other one goes "PLEASE don't shut me out again" and then it descends. "Mummy, she shut me out! Muuummmyyyyy!" Oh FFS, you are acting a part from a film! You are not actually princess Anna! Just sing the bloody song!

I naively thought I would be able to zone out any annoying noise my children made.

How fucking stupid I was.

I am considering enrolling her in drama classes next term. She can also squeeze out a tear on demand...

toomuchtooold Yep.

When I am on the loo, DD taps on the door and sings 'Elsa? Pleeease, I know you're in there!'

OMG that's hilarious! Does she then sink to the floor and sing the closing lines of "Do You Wanna Build A Snowman" with her back against the bathroom door?

Everything that has already been said!

Finger prints! Finger prints everywhere, mirrors, windows, door handles and light switches are constantly covered. It drives me fucking barmy!

The TV is constantly covered in smears. Why? It's for watching not touching! Stop hugging the TV, why do you need to get so close to it? Once I found a kiss mark on the TV . Who knew that I needed to enforce a "no kissing the TV rule"?

My mum hasn't been in good health recently so I went to her house to clean - her house was minging but the TV was spotless.

The never ending mess drives me insane. I thought that when DD2 went to school the house would be tidier but nooo. She wakes at 6am and turns the house upside down before she leaves for school. Leaving it for me to tidy up when I get home from dropping her off!

Oh thank goodness its not just me with the touching thing! I loathe being tapped on the arm or shoulder by DD (5) during mealtimes. She is continually trying to get my attention and does not seem to get that tapping me when I am right next to her is not required. Its all I can do not to flick her off me! I also feel all touched out. I feel harassed by DD, the dogs and DH for affection ALL the fecking time. A cold hard nose from the dog on the back of the leg is as annoying as DD's shoulder tap.

Personal space is a huge issue for me and I get the rage when I get crowded by them all. We have a galley kitchen and they frequently all get in the way at once when I am cooking.

When I am on the loo, DD taps on the door and sings 'Elsa? Pleeease, I know you're in there!' grrr

esp. bad when the nipples get stood on

They still turn brushing teeth into combat sport.

Being stood on. OMG I hate to be stood on. Can just about handle it from an under 2yo.

Oh the fecking stopping! My DC are both like clockwork toys, they wander along for a bit and then... stop. Not to do anything, just stop and stare into space! I have to say "Keep walking!" "We're trying to get somewhere!" "Yes, that's right, keep moving!" about 300 times to complete any journey.

I have another one - (the walking in front of the pushchair mentioned upthread reminded me -DD1 did that ...with random stops- and she was 6 or 7 not a toddler. The 20 min walk from the local shops used to take the best part of an hour ....thinking about it still makes me grind my teeth...)
The wanting - in fact insisting - to go to the shop on a balance bike or a scooter... then after 5 mins deciding they would rather walk/run instead - so you are stuck struggling carrying shopping and a blinking bike/scooter...and those metal scooters with thin edges are designed to spin round and inflict the maximum amount of pain as they bash into shins...

Yes when mine where younger and it was winter i used to put them to bed earlier.You just need a bit of peace.

And when they talk endless crap and you switch off,why do they pick that moment to ask you to repeat what they just said.

Plus they always wait til you eating something or after taking a drink to ask you a question.And they keep repeating while you try to answer without choking.

I had forgotten all this stuff now mine are older. The repetition of it all. DH never understanding why I was so keen to get them into bed (some nights they had half five bedtime, just so I could breathe )

To the poster upthread who said that maybe it was internet and computers that made children more reliant on adults for entertainment - my oldest dc were born in the eighties and had no consoles until school age, but certainly did all that whiney fighty stuff regardless.

sits rocking on the loo

Oh yes, and splash mats were invented so Mum's could have a number 2 in peace. If Ds hears me he announces 'are you having a poo'?

and I'm sure Ds is fine tuned to know when I'm slacking. I can be busy clattering about in the kitchen, if I sit for two minutes I hear 'muuuum' from the livingroom!

Fantastic thread.

The fact that even when I'm alone (rare) out shopping and I hear 'muuum' I think it's ds! Never switch off.

The touching/fidgeting/never sitting still/constant chatter has actually driven me slightly insane. I'm sure this is temporary and I will look back at this time with rose tinted specs on.

The bathroom. Let's draw out brushing our teeth, at bedtime, for as long as is humanly possible.

The random questions. I'm so glad Google exists.

Eating ice lollies with no sense of urgency. "Muuuummy, it's dripping!" Well of course it bloody is. You've been standing staring at it for the last 15 minutes!

The inability to walk from A to B without feet dragging / having to balance on an edge / follow a crack on the pavement / jump over a drain.

The noise - DH can't understand that I get annoyed if he puts the tv or music on immediately after bedtime - j just need to enjoy the silence for a bit first!

The inane requests that you oblige to cos it's not worth the argument / tantrum I.e mummy you walk that way, I walk this way / letting 3yo DS do things 'by mines self' when it takes 3 X as long / not that cup/bowl/etc - that one' / cut it this way not that way...

The interruptions. On average every five minutes. Driving me spare!
The constant chatter of pre-schoolers. My OH is away much of the time, so they talk at me. OH brought me back some industrial strength ear protectors from his work - sanity savers!
The pointless food prep and inevitable waste of same food. Next door's chooks are very fat from our scraps.

Thanks for this thread, I thought I may have been being harsh on the kids, but probably just being too harsh on myself!

"mummy!!! bogey!!!!" As I'm driving down the motorway.

Fighting over me, toddler 2 "my mummy!" Followed by toddler 1,"No! My mummy!!!"

Doing a supermarket shop and walking past those silly car rides that swallow pound coins for 30 secs of amusement. No we can't even enter the bloody building without having a tantrum and that's before I've even attempted to put one of them in the trolley.

Trying to cook tea without said toddlers wanting to watch/help. No dears you can't help, because I want to eat this side of midnight.

Anything with that Justin CBeebies bloke.

Rain, which means I can't boot them into the garden and wave at them from the kitchen window whilst they play on bikes and wear themselves out.

Having to have exactly the correct cup/bowl/cutlery combination for that meal. Silly mummy, we use that spoon at bwekfast!

Being made to look and smell a poo in the loo. Being made to show a poo in a nappy to a proud toddler in exchange for him letting me wipe his arse.

Fucking bubbles. They just tip the mixture on the floor, or throw a fit cos they can't make bubbles and get me to do it.

Swings.

I have been reading out various posts on this thread to DH. His response was "So, mumsnet is basically a support group then?".

Swirlingasong - I would loooove to watch your chef test cooking show. It would be riveting must-see tv If anyone on this thread happens to be in tv production PLEASE make this happen. Please?

jollyfrenchy - oh good God yes! Being handed rubbish is one of the most annoying things ever.