things I didn't know I found annoying until I had children.

Ha I thought this would become a discussion of the day! :)

I cannot stand any sentence DS1 starts enthusiastically with "watch this ..." I have seen you take a bite of a sandwich/do a big step/pull that same face 4000 times already today, now put your shoes on it's time for school !!!!!

DS2 "Me do it" Darling you are a foot tall (at best) you cannot get the Weetabix out of the top cupboard/mash potato/or boil a pan of water - then the wait for the inevitable tantrum that follows .... I now count down from my "no" to the screams ... I have it down pat a 5.

I think I'd blanked out the horror of toddler groups as I'd actually forgotten about the grimness of it all until this thread reminded me!

The bloody sharing! – yes sharing is nice but can't a child just play with something for 2 seconds? I used to think "I bet you wouldn't like it if I demanded to share your car!"

I have a (lovely, really) friend who always used to talk to her DC in a kind of baby voice and would always go "It's nice to share!!!" and my sleep-deprived frazzled brain would be going "aaaaarrrrggghhh shut up!"

I also always found singing Wheels on the Bus the ultimate annoying experience. It goes on for about 2300 years, has the most boring tune ever and is sexist into the bargain It also used to piss me off that all the other mums looked like they were just loving it!

All things considered I think I was not at my best during the toddler stage :o

Having to have 4 different conversations at once, whilst driving the car, navigating heavy traffic in the rain. I'm quite good at listening to more than one child or picking up threads when they assume you remember the chat you were having three days ago BUT no allowance is ever given for anything else I'm trying to do at the same time!

EvansOvalPiesYumYum that made me laugh, that is exactly was DS does all the time, it drives me bonkers.

I get irritated by having to have the same conversations daily.

As mentioned above I hate Mummy, can I ask you something - just bloody ask me.

Ohhh! Home-produced 'shows'. We have friends who's children used to put on shows for us whenever we visited (grossly over-indulged children, it has to be said).
We'd have to sit for what seemed like forever through hideous episodes of precocious showing-off, whilst the parents looked on fondly. Why do people not understand that their children are not that interesting and funny and cute to other people.

Similarly, music recitals. How many scratchy violins can one put up with? Your own children, fine, but not other people's children. Grrr!

We had children too, but we never made friends sit through this shit. We encouragingly endured it ourselves

The very loooong memories, mum - do you remember you told us that we could....yes that was 3 years ago, things have slightly changed since then

Sharing. Overly earnest mums at toddler groups obsessively trying to make their children share with my toddler. It just ruins the fun. He tends not to care too much at the moment if a toy is taken and if he really wanted the toy back he'll let your child know.

I have a very small range of kids TV that I can tolerate. DS1 only watched a handful of programmes as a preschooler. Luckily DS2 loves Elmo which is great.

Kids nursery rhyme type songs. Especially when there are made up verses. I heard about 10 different verses of "Row row row" at a recent toddler singing group.

I'm not completely miserable though, I love being climbed over all day!

School plays, even at nursery level. Fun for 3 seconds when my child is on and then bored silly. This must make me the Grinch.

YYYY to the MUUUUUMMM! shriek which is at exactly the same intensity for 'I am in mortal peril' and 'Hey, I just drew another line on this bit of paper!'

The mess.
The whining.
"But I don't WANT toooo..."
"But YOU SAID..."

Repeating the word "Muumm" over and over again until she remembers what it is that she was going to say in the first place.
"Mum?"
"Yes?"
"Mum?"
"What is it?
"Er.. mum?"
"Have a think about what you want to say, then come back and tell me."
"OK. Er... mum?"
(head/desk)

Dc2 Squealing, dogs barking and OH moaning about the noise, all of them all the bloody time is driving me crazy. Poor dc1,has taken to wearing ear defenders in the house!

lady sorry to say but I was still doing those aged 10...

Some more

'Can I tell you something?' Just tell me.

Watching the same TV programmes over and over.

The mess. By the time I've cleared up after breakfast its time for lunch.

Toys everywhere.

Farting.

Constant questioning me.

PS I am a childcare nanny not a mum!!

Amateur dramatics! My 4 year old is into performing 'shows' for us at the moment, which consists of half an hour of her singing made up songs and bossing her brother about!

Hang on in there. We've grown out of a lot of these. Never had the coming out of the toilet with trousers round the ankles though!
Mine are incapable of standing or sitting still when telling me something they are excited about. They walk round and round the room as they talks. It makes it hard to focus on what they're saying.
The obligatory 'Mum' 'Yes' before speaking has probably arisen because I do that to them, so that they can't use the 'didn't hear you excuse' when asked to do something.

I hate parks. Hate them.

The cheerio thing...when DD was about 6 she had a best friend called Ben and she was invited to a sleepover at Ben's house. She came back full of excitement because Ben could do a really really cool thing with Cheerios and only boys can do it and he showed her when his mum wasn't looking! I braced myself and asked "That's nice. What can Ben do with Cheerios?", and she announced " He can balance them on his......... Nose! Because Ben says boys' noses are bigger than girls' noses!"
Dd and Ben are now both 22 and his mum and I still laugh about it.

Before my DD was born I remember saying that I hoped she was curious about the world, 3 years later the constant "why?" drives me nuts

The way their rooms are always covered in inexplicable, unidentifiable tiny scraps of paper.

Wee on the bathroom floor.

Complaints about meals served.

150 socks around the house at all times. Scratch that. 151.

Yes, and why do they always have to walk right in front of you so you trip over them?

Constant fidgeting, taking forever do anything

THANK THE LORD for this thread. Last week, when DS1 would not stop putting his feet on me during a film (despite being asked 10 times not to do it and despite knowing I can't stand it), I had to go off to the bathroom to scream to myself. I felt very bad indeed. Now I don't.

That thing that 2 yo do when they automatically say no when they mean yes and then get pissed off with you when you assume they mean no when they say no.

I thought it was just mine who did that! We also get a teenage style grunt to some questions and I'm not sure which is worse.

DH is much worse for being where I want to walk than either DC! I didn't know how annoying that was till I got married...

I didn't know how annoying other adults trying to persuade a child to do something were. They think the right way to try and persuade a child to do something is to say "come on it's lovely, look X has got their coat on, come on put your coat on".

IT ISN'T. The right way to persuade my DC to put their coat on is to put it on the floor in the correct orientation and then completely ignore them and get on with something else and pretend to start to leave the room.

I didn't know how annoying it was having someone tell you to "put the clicker on" in the car. I have to admit I snapped and shouted at DC1 NOT to ever ask me again to put the clickers on because it wasn't safe to do it when we didn't need it. Astonishingly it worked.

I actually like the touching but DC1 is not very touchy feely. DC2 wrapped every single limb round me when I got back from a Guider training day having left them with DH, I found that quite sweet but it's obvious DC2 (18 mo) is more clingy than DC1 so I may live to regret saying that.

The touch thing drives me nuts, I used to be very tactile pre-children and encouraged lots of cuddles when they were little but they just won't leave me alone,lol.

I also have an 11 year old who has always said mum/mummy in a tone that suggests the house is on fire, a terrible accident has occurred or some other emergency has happened, sets my teeth on edge.