things I didn't know I found annoying until I had children.

Gloves

My grown and flown DDs still have long thick hairMarie DH has to untangle the hoover every time either has been for a visit.And I find they have forgotten a hairbrush so I have to de- hair mine ...

Never mind what's your favourite colour. We get:

"What's your favorite super-hero that I've made up? And what is your next favourite? And then after that?" I can usually fob him off after I've named 5.

DS carries around in his head an entire army of super heroes that he has made up, often with detailed backstories and characteristics. The list grows daily. In fact the other question that has worn thin is:

"Would you like to know who is today's new super hero?"

He can speak on the subject for easily 45 minutes with me just muttering listening noises every now and then e.g. "Six arms, wow!"

At the moment there are two things bugging me:

1 everything has to be about poo, wee or bums. "Yes mummy bummy", "one, poo, wee" ad nauseam.

2 one-word answers which appear to the speaker to be full instructions. "Porridge" apparently means "please can I have lukewarm porridge with honey, blueberries and the spoon I told you was my favourite yesterday." Of course, they are able to say this all in a reproachful voice when the porridge is not what they were expecting

Hair. I didn't realise hair would play such a big part in my life before having 2 long haired DDs. Now it's bloody everywhere - clogging up the plug holes, matted into the rugs, tangled in MY hairbrush.

Touching my arm for attention rather han saying my name. Grrrrr!

Having items thrust right into my face, I mean millimetres away from my eyes, I can't stand it!

Hot breath on my feet. Not sure if it's normal do discover that after kid or if I've lived a sheltered life!

I am not a mum but a dad. I absolutely adore both of my kids, but I totally sympathise with the being stood on by my 8 year old girl and 3 year old boy like ALL the time and also the walking in front of u, expecting u 2 speak the whole time ur having a no 2, no privacy or respect for boundaries @ all :/ My daughter's best mark of ownership or territory was weeing on me when I came 2 help with her pre school. Now she tells this proudly 2 her friends! Lol Not eek :/

Sam is just a jibber jabber er, usually about dinosaurs or Star Wars or Blaze and the monster machines, but Grace is worse The endless humming all day every day, is dreadful. :/ Miss it weirdly when she is not there, but oh my word it is annoying and constantly happening... 😢

My name isn't mummy
It's mummy mummy mummy mummy....

Not being able to just"leave the house"!!The endles fights between the siblings!!Surviving on such a a little sleep for sooo long!Demand of constant attention,oh and the endless joy when they get in their teens!I could go on and on!Such fun having kids!!

Had the same thing with the Christmas cards Hilda.

We went through a bad sleep stage some time ago and DD used to wake me up several times a night by patting my arm.
After a while I started feeling stabby anytime my arm was patted by anybody.

The constant questions!

The constant need to either talk or make some sort of noise (humming,singing,tapping)

The uncanny ability to be playing nicely and then start talking/needing something during the part of a series you've been waiting for for months..... And the winner is.... Mommy! I need you

Writing Christmas cards.

DD can write her own name, so I suggested that she wrote her name in all the cards and I can write the "dear so & so" at the top.
No.
DD has to put them in separate piles and pick one for Poppy (name changed). She writes her name at the bottom.
Tells me it is for Poppy.
I write "dear Poppy" at the top.
DD: are you writing "dear Poppy"?
Me: yes
I write "Poppy" on the envelope
DD: are you writing "Poppy" on the envelope?
Me: yes
29 times.

The constant look what I've done in minecraft. "Come and see what I've made on minecraft", "no it always looks the same", "please it's really amazing" "oh ok!", "what do you think it looks like?", "a cube", "no! It's a tree house!", "it's a cube don't shout me again".... "Look what I've made now", "no!"
And the constant need to use me as a chair. Can't even remember the last time I watched tv without a curtain of blonde hair in my way 😌

I do truly believe there is a pressure switch just outside my bathroom door. And the little alarm it triggers in their heads is on enough of a delay to equal the time it takes me to get settled and in mid action.

Every sodding time - "MUUUMM!!" or WWW3 breaks out.

EvansOvalPiesYumYum, a bit like that, but ours goes:

What's your favourite colour?
What's your favourite food?
What's your favourite weather?
What's your favourite letter?
What's your favourite number?

I consider myself quite opinionated, but I have no useful favourites on offer and I get called up on it if I say blue today and purple tomorrow.

I agree Curioushorse. Aaaarrrggghhh!

Endless nagging because obviously having their apple chopped up RIGHT NOW is vitally more important than me:

• making their breakfast
• making their packed lunch
• packing the school bags
• eating my own breakfast
• using the toilet

Work meetings in which nothing is being agreed, or the information could have been communicated by email. In my experience, they're usually run by men who like the sound of their very slow voice.

I think we would be more successful as a country if everybody in all meetings was paying overtime to the child minder just in order to attend.

I'm sitting here reading this with my snuggly newborn pfb and both laughing hysterically and wondering what on earth I've got myself into!

Yes to the hiding things,not to bad now.But when they where younger every thing went missing.
Everything being a competition and counting everything the other child gets.God forbid you give one of the other darlings something extra WW3 breaks out.

Listening to songs I actually like more than two times in succession. Robyn "Dancing on my Own" = masterpiece and DD loves it (about which I am grateful and proud) but fourth time round it gets a bit old.

Paw Patrol. Mr Tumble. Magazines with plastic crap attached to the front (especially lipstick).

Oh and do anyone else's children like to hide things then have you search the ENTIRE house for said thing only to give up... then 2 minutes later they go and get the thing you were trying to find from wherever the hell they originally put it??
This annoys me to no end.

Pushchairs, children should be born fully capable of walking. I used to think they looked pretty useful.. Lots of room for shopping bags. No. They are heavy and annoying and half the time they have a mind of their own.

YY to repitition
'Mummy spider'
'Ohh yeah a big spider'
'Spider'
'Yep that's a spider'
'Spider.. Spideeerrr'
'YES'
'LOOK SPIDDDEERRR'
There are only so many times you can pretend to be as excited by a spider as a toddler.

Juice, everything about it. Making it twice because the first time it wasn't good enough, cleaning it up off the floor and everywhere else.. Being forced to drink it...

Also being asked to sit in ridiculous places. My 2 year DS loves to sit in the to unit and scream at me to 'COME INNNNN'

I could go on forever but I'll stop there