WIBU to give trick or treaters condoms?

slade drops stick

The story of Minions begins at the dawn of time. Starting as single-celled yellow organisms, Minions evolve through the ages, perpetually serving the most despicable of masters. Continuously unsuccessful at keeping these masters-from T. rex to Napoleon-the Minions find themselves without someone to serve and fall into a deep depression. But one Minion named Kevin has a plan, and he-alongside teenage rebel Stuart and lovable little Bob-ventures out into the world to find a new evil boss for his brethren to follow. The trio embarks upon a thrilling journey that ultimately leads them to their next potential master, Scarlet Overkill, the world's first-ever female super-villain. They travel from frigid Antarctica to 1960s New York City, ending in mod London, where they must face their biggest challenge to date: saving all of Minionkind...from annihilation.
Director: Kyle Balda, Pierre Coffin
Cast: Sandra Bullock, Jon Hamm, Pierre Coffin

"rotten fish innards"

How do people think they MAKE fish sauce?

Anyway, thank to this thread I now know what "Minions" are.

We live in part of an old large property with no entry visible from the ground that can be knocked or rung so are blessedly free of this ghastly Americn export.

Re the condoms, it is said that after WW2 US occupied Japan had a desperate shortage of condoms. Gen MacArthur ordered that supplies from the US be extra large size but labelled "Small"

We've gone a bit off-message now. But I need to know, what are (or is?) minion?

00100001

The stick in the mouth....I really can't beat that! I'm laughing so hard I could collapse

slad I get whacked over the head with rotten fish innards! You young uns have it too easy

I've just choked on my brew laughing slade
I'm sure people are trying to kill me today...

Your lucky you have finger to type with, I have to use a stick in my mouth.

FattyNinjaOwlBecameAZombie

You take naps? Luxury!! If I am ever caught shutting my eyes at work, I am walloped over the head with a bag of fish innards...but do I complain? No, I don't, because then I would lose my job and some young forrin' lad would be straight in my place faster than a rat up a drainpipe.

00100001

You're lucky you have FEET. I had mine amputated back in 1987, after a dog mauled them on my way to the podiatrist.

I work 24 hours a day. I am allowed to nap from time to time but not very often. Lunch is a working lunch. I'm very hard done by

21 hours a day? You've got it easy, I work 23 hours a day, an I have to walk my 15 miles in bare feet...

As an honest, hard-working taxpayer, I am shocked and appalled by this story. This poor woman's kids must be absolutely heartbroken, and probably scarred for life.

I work 21 hours a day down the fish factory, breaking my back carrying heavy loads of frozen halibut and mackerel, before walking 15 miles home, where I have a glass of water and a beta blocker before walking the 15 miles back to work for another honest day's graft.

My wife, Pat (65), does the weekly grocery shop. All my hard-earned cash goes to Tesco, and its when I hear stories like this about them, that I could weep with sorrow. Tesco is a multi-billion pound, greedy, corporate, immoral, unethical machine which delights in taking money off the honest, hard-working taxpaying customer, and yet they think they can get away with this disgraceful, insulting behaviour.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again - this country is going to the dogs.

happylass

I can see you waving your hair dryer over your stew now growling "come on!! coooook!!!"

Hypnotherapist1

Condoms are adult material which I deem unsuitable to give to young children. Parents of those children receiving may also object. What message are we conveying to our children? That sex is a game? Another attack on the sanctity of the role of sex, I say.

This confuses me....I can't decide if you have read the thread and are trying to be funny or if you haven't and have taken this entirely the wrong way

But....classics!

00100001

You also missed out the risk of the condoms being carcinogernic - the Daily Heil won't like that!

Brilliant thread & OP - MN at its best.

chelle.

My brother once had an extension lead substituted for a dog lead once?!

Not really a substitution but I once ordered a slow cooker from Tesco Direct and they sent me a hair dryer instead. Taking slow cooking to the extreme....

Condoms are adult material which I deem unsuitable to give to young children. Parents of those children receiving may also object. What message are we conveying to our children? That sex is a game? Another attack on the sanctity of the role of sex, I say.

Use them to make real life-sized blackcurrant penile ice lollies.

Heck, you could treat yourself to some flavour-free ice lollies, "the way nature intended".

They won't print it unless ejay is in receipt of £60k a year in benefits, is a one legged lesbian asylum seeker with 12 children she had using sperm donors she found on eBay

I normally fill my trick or treat bowl with mini Mars bars and satsumas.
Shall I substitute condoms and bananas to practice with?

They won't print it unless ejay is in receipt of £60k a year in benefits, is a one legged lesbian asylum seeker with 12 children she had using sperm donors she found on eBay.

Quite honestly, the daily fail will laugh at your story as there is nothing to outrage their tax paying, hard working readers.