the worst thing I have ever done due to child induced fatigue

Giggling at the slow cooked plastic dinosaur

Have done the car seat strapping in fail.

Left the driver's door open while I wandered round Tesco. Came back and nothing had been touched. Was very relieved as was dh's car!

I am 7 + 4 weeks today and this thread is terrifying me.

I have also not fastened in a car seat.

And managed to lock DD in car still strapped in seat. My bag/keys/phone where on passenger seat.

Decided I fancied some ice cream while studying one evening. Realised that as DH wasn't home I could get one of the (many) flavours he doesn't like but I do. Set off to the corner shop wondering why on earth I didn't do this more often. Only as I was paying did I find the baby monitor I had slung in my handbag automatically as I left the house, and realised to my horror that I'd left DS (6 months) at home alone asleep. I literally ran home. Was quite impressed that I could still hear the white noise down the monitor in the shop though- had no idea their range was that good!

Have never told DH .

Yes a couple of times, found baby seat without seatbelt clicked in place. Nobody is perfect OP.

I took my dd through a car wash, with her window open , when she was about 2. Plaintive cries of "mumma wet wet " had me saying reassuringly it's fine , car will be nice and clean ....
I had to take her into the nearby Tesco to buy a dry set of clothes and change her . She hasn't forgotten this episode ! Bad mother .....

Oh yes, I turned up once to the childminders to collect the children. It wasn't their day to look after them, and I dissolved as I couldn't remember where they were (with MIL). Luckily CM was well aware of our routine and where I needed to be to collect them.

And have also forgotten to collect children from school

Got off the bus from town, and realised someone had stolen my car. Nice police officer was taking my statement when I remembered I had actually driven into town. He wasn't impressed, and to add insult to injury, by the time I managed to retrieve the car I had a parking ticket as well.

Driven past the end of my road thinking "I'm sure someone I know lives down there, I wonder who it is"

Put two nappies on DD. Left the smelly one on and just put a clean one over the top

Woke up crying as I couldn't find the baby. She was having a lovely cosleeping dream feed at that moment, DH thought I was bonkers.

Smacked DH across the back of the head about 2 in the morning as I had a dream that he had kissed someone else. He was not sympathetic.

I do have more, but I can't remember as I'm still pretty knackered.

I drove to work many times without having any recollection of the journey.

I've also left the front door wide open, and regularly leave the keys (including car keys) on the outside of the door. Lucky we live in a naice neighbourhood . Also done the dropping off to sleep while standing/walking thing. I sometimes wonder if I'm safe to drive after 6 1/2 years of sleep-adverse children.

And I frequently panic because I'm missing a child when actually they are at school/preschool (although someone asked today where DS was and I answered that he was at school - in fact I had just picked him up from his half day. He could have been anywhere....but was having a poo, as it turned out!).

Put 4 year old in the car strapped him in and drove off, leaving 6 week old in the house in his car seat asleep I was a good mile away before my 4 year old highlighted it!

Went to pick up DS from nursery in my pyjamas.

Mermaid When I got older I started to make my own way home. It was the era of the glue sniffers and I was terrified of encountering them.
On particular day I walked home and it was snowing. Some boys were throwing snowballs at me and my poor mum came tearing round the corner to pick me up, having realised she was very late. She handed in her notice the next day because she felt so bad.

Twirly - I forgot DS name once. For a veeeeery long few seconds I just sort of blinked and went u mm mm mm mm.

Shouted in exasperation at the toddler aa to why she wasn't eating her yoghurt. She pointed out she had no spoon (and was strapped in to high chair).

Not strapped in various car seats.

Threw my phone in the sink. Literally lobbed it at sink. I think I thought it was a teaspoon.

Loads of others!

Strapped dd into car seat securely. Then attached seat to car wrong and couldn't figure out why my normally quiet baby wouldn't stop crying til I noticed her head being bumped against the car door
Handed dd a tin I'd opened to put in the bin for me ( she was 1 ffs ) instead of ex and she slashed her hand. All night teething that one.
Just didn't get up for work and was actually annoyed when they rang me. Had had about an hours sleep ( ex was a lazy sod who didn't help out btw )
Fell asleep when dd did in her huge Silver Cross and didn't wake until the thing creaked loudly because dd had slithered to the end and was straddling the end of it

I've done the car thing (twice )

I watched ds fall off a roundabout in slow motion and just stood and watched because my body was so lead heavy that I couldn't move in time. I was with 2 childless friends who looked at me like I was a totally heartless freak. Out of nervousness I then got the giggles.

I have forgotten my name when asked, the burst into tears at how bloody rubbish I was that u couldn't even remember my own name.

I lay down in the middle of the park curled around the base of the pram because ds had finally gone to sleep and I convinced myself we would just look like we were having a picnic while I snoozed.

I genuinely shudder when I thjnk back on those days, I was a single parent from birth and ds woke every hour and a half until he was 2. I was so desperate for someone, anyone, to hand him over to so I could rest

Sent DS1 to school with my purse and had his pencil case in my handbag. The school phoned me.

Left my 8 hour old baby in the nappies isle at Tesco and wandered off round the shop. When DH caught up with me ...he had another trolley with DS1 and DD1 in it (aged 2 and 1) he just said 'where's the baby?' and I actually looked down for my bump...

In my defence we were on the way home from the hospital and I did find DD2 surrounded by cooing shop assistants

Love the babysitter one

I also drove back from town (about 10 miles) with DS strapped in his car seat, but not strapped in to the car itself.

The one that still gives me the shivers is offering DS a spoonful of adult cough medicine instead of Calpol. Luckily he sniffed it, screamed, then clamped his mouth shut. Sometimes I am glad that he's never been a compliant child.

I ripped the door off the car, whilst reversing out of the garage.

The car was in the garage, I put DS in the car seat, forgot to shut the car door. Got in driver's sear, reversed quite fast out of garage. Massive crash.

Door was totally fucked, even the hinges were broken. Couldn't even get the door to close, it was totally bent.

Thankfully DS was fine, bit of the door pinged off, luckily nothing hit him.

Door cost $3000 to fix. (insurance paid)

DH was not impressed.

I forgot one: strapping baby DD into 3/4yo DS' car seat after nursery drop-offs, quite regularly, and only realising after I'd strapped her in and she was looking at me with a quizzical face.

Have also forgotten to strap dtds in. On another occasion when teeny, I managed to strap one in with her leg bent at the knee back under her - she wasn't much impressed by my attempts to hobble her.
Took them out for a walk on a cold frosty day, popped into see mum for a quick cuppa. Mum spotted one was soaking wet, commented on how thin the nappy on her was, then realised she wasn't wearing one. Seems attempts at potty training a six month old are fairly futile & I have no recollection of taking old one off. Also just realised it was same twin I tried to hobble
Left keys in front door, left patio door wide open - next doors cat was quite comfy on sofa when I got back, I was just relieved he'd not set the alarm off. Have parked up and forgotten where, eventually found car, left it unlocked again and been insulted. nobody had stolen it. The list goes on.
Always wondered at the wisdom of leaving me in charge and thought I'd done well to come back unscathed with correct number of children.
Oh, also tried to take wrong baby out of nursery at hospital - again same twin, dear god, she's lucky to have made it through last 10 years

Also: pointing the remote control at the baby and pressing mute when it started crying.