the worst thing I have ever done due to child induced fatigue

Forgot to strap DD into her seat a few times
Locked myself out and DD in (thankfully she was big enough to get my keys from the bench and post them through the cat flap)
Frequently forgot her name until she was about 9months. Kept thinking I was still pregnant and saying "oh, we haven't decided on one yet."
Stood there and watched the dinner burn while trying to work out what the smell was.

XP worked shifts when DD was small. At one point I had a very vivid dream that his friend had broken in and left a box of nappies on the table and told me XP had left me. I called XP, howling down the phone about his betrayal and how could he do this etc. XP (utterly bemused) came home and calmed me down. It took forever for me to understand it was a dream. He had to show me the lack of nappies-on-the-table a few times.

Oh man, I could write the book on this...

Took both DC out for a hike for the first time all together (DD was about 3 months) and merrily went off hiking with the doors to my car not just unlocked but with one door left WIDE OPEN. Not kidding. I actually left the car door wide open. Brand new car too that we had bought just after DD was born. How it wasn't stolen is a miracle!

And now even though DD is 10 months and really the sleep deprivation shouldn't be so severe anymore, I still am suffering from Swiss cheese brain syndrome. We were just on holidays abroad and we left our wallet with all our important documents and ID in the cottage we were renting on an island. Thankfully the hotel agreed to ship them to us within 24 hours otherwise we'd be stuffed.

Those are only the two more egregious examples of what I have done in my brain-fried state from lack of sleep. There are countless more small ones including not having my DD's car seat properly inserted into the ISOfix base a couple of times... It's a miracle I'm still allowed to be a parent to be honest... . So you are definitely not alone, OP!

Left the front door open
Strapped baby in car seat and left it on the floor by the car while I packed all the stuff into the car, reversed off the drive and left the baby on the floor!
I went to playgroup DS2 in pram, got him out for a cuddle and my friend said "er where's his nappy?" I had put him in a vest (summer), with poppers at the bottom but no nappy!

One for classics I think, just spent a half hour nodding over all the things I also did when mine were younger. Going out in really manky, falling apart slippers. Walking home from the shops even though I drove there. Car keys in the freezer. Woke up on the sofa one time to find exp and DD1 rolling around laughing, apparently I had started stroking exp head, mumbling what a good boy he was (he wasn't incidentally) as if he was the dog. It's still referred to as "crystal balling" because exp had no hair so it looked like I was trying to see my sleepless future in his head.
I also dashed out if bed and grabbed a broom to bash the smoke alarm, before I realised it was ds apnea alarm not the smoke alarm, use to go off a lot, he was fine btw just peed a lot and it had come loose again.
Pretty sure I didn't sleep properly for the first two years of his life mind.

I've left the front door wide open numerous times. I've forgotten to prompt 6 yr old DS to close it, and he just walks out behind me and the little one without a thought.

Took DD to the village shop at 7 am the other morning, which involves several steep curbs and road crossings, and only after starting the walk back did I realise she wasn't strapped in. We have a Stokke Xplory (the old V2 one - I have mobility issues when post-partum so need a very high buggy) so the fall to the ground would be a big one. And she is 18 months old, so heavy and wriggly. It gave me the shudders, imagining her falling that way onto solid concrete, very possibly landing on her head. God knows how she didn't tbh.

I once slept fed DS, which actually entailed me pouring milk on myself and mumbling about him, who was soundly asleep in his cot.

DS2 was referred to as "Baby [DS2's given name]" for at least the first 3 months of his life, as it gave me thinking time to remember it and not constantly call him by his brother's/DH's name.

DH and I did all sorts of crazy sleep addled stuff until DS1 was a few weeks old. We've definitely forgotten to strap the car seat into the car. We set off on a busy road in the car when DS1 was about 3 weeks old and, when DH suddenly braked hard, I was puzzled as to why I fell forwards towards the dashboard. Turned out I had forgotten to do up my seat belt.

Saskia

I managed to give ds a bowl of cat meat for breakfast. In his cereal bowl.

Neither ds nor the cat was happy with this.

Had a friend stay overnight when dd was tiny, I fell asleep leaving friend to give dd a feed.

Drove into town, walked home. Thought car was stolen.

I have done that too MrsFrank

I worked the late shift in a supermarket on Saturdays, and was so tired when I went back after maternity leave, I fell asleep at the checkout a few times

Luckily I don't drive as I'm certain the car related ones would have happened to me.

Forgetting I actually had a baby and wondering whose baby was crying.

Shushing a pillow regularly

The funniest one now which still gets brought up.
Poor DP getting into bed. In my crazy, fuzzy mind I was convinced he had jumped on DD and killed her. Poor bloke was shoved across the room, me screaming he killed her and scrambling through the bedding and looking under the bed for DD body. DD was fast asleep in the moses basket. Bless him, he calmed me down, rubbing my back with a and .

Bad times

Crying at upside down baby feed

museumofham I actually did that . Ds was teething, in the middle of the night in the car I went downstairs and drew up a measure of Calpol, gave it ds, we all went back to sleep. The next morning I couldn't understand why the benelyn bottle was on the side. Then it dawned on me, I was mortified but thankfully no harm done. Always turn the light on now.

I have also put dirty nappies in the wash, left doors unlocked frequently, run out of petrol, cried at work lots and taken him to nursery when he should have been with family and vice versa.

To be fair ds did have severe reflux until aged 3, so I was very sleep deprived. I think dh appreciates that I am now once again able to have a conversation in the evening.

I have done the not strapping into car seat one, once, DS1 was about 3yo I think, drove for around 5 minutes before he said 'hey guys, think you have forgotten something?' .

I continually leave my keys in the front door.

Have put dinner in the oven and not switched it on.

DM told me that she once went to the local supermarket, did her shopping and carried the heavy bags half a mile home. She got home and wondered why she'd carried the bags instead of putting them in the bottom of the pram?
...the pram that was sitting outside the shop with baby me asleep in it.

Tried to give a night feed, and couldn't understand why DS hadn't latched on and was still wailing. Then I realised I was holding him upside down and those limbs flailing around were legs.

Don't worry - I forgot to strap DS in his baby car seat once. I mean completely forgot - to out the car seat in the car and strap it in
Luckily I didn't get far before looking in rear view mirror and seeing him still on the pavement.
He was 4 weeks old

My friend once told me that she got to a dog walking park about 20mins from home and before she'd gotten out of the car herself, her dog was outside the car next to her door! She then realised she'd driven a the way with dog in boot and boot door wide open! Lucky the dog didnt jump out!

Tried to buy many many things with no wallet or card. Worst was a full Christmas shop....my local teach was not happy!

When Ds was little I used to deliberately go to the park over the road and walk the same circuit every time so I could walk with my eyes closed because I genuinely used to worry my eye muscles would give up due to lack of rest otherwise!

Out DS under my bed after a feed instead of the Moses basket.

Thought dh was a ghost and karate chopped him as he stood over the cot.

This is the perfect thread!

Revered re car into a wall with the boot open, boot door fucked, and had to call FIL to come and help me.
Got glasses due to poor vision which was down to NO effing sleep!

Left DS in a shop.

Wittery - burying your baby in the garden!!

And throwing your bag in a lake!

Not a mistake I made, but I hate going in lifts and am always worried they'll get stuck. When ds was about 4 months I was so so tired, I remember wishing the lift I was in would get stuck for a good while so I could lie down and go to sleep and hopefully be awoken by some nice firefighters