the worst thing I have ever done due to child induced fatigue

At my worst (refluxy non-sleeping 6 week old) I drove round a roundabout the wrong way. Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiit. Also went to sleep while the hairdresser was washing my hair.

I lost most of my vocabulary whilst breast feeding. It was really embarrassing.

I believe I have had cognitive changes whilst pregnant. Would be interested in those links please.

Dogwalker - I once mistook a soft toy for ds1 - I turned over in bed, and lifted the teddy bear over too, very carefully supporting its head!

Janet there are actually significant neurocognitive changes that occur in a woman's brain throughout pregnancy and afterwards. I can give you some links if you'd like?

Twice I locked myself out of my house leaving 6 month old Dd alone on our bed. Both times I had to get my lovely neighbour to climb through a window (we lived in a first floor flat) to let me in. I also would regularly leave the front door wide open all day when I went out.

PS
Ah it's sexist at mumsnet who called this the "babybrain" thread - they obviously want to do women down. The poster hasn't - I just noticed.

I have an objection to the term baby brain. In a sense it is sexist man causes woman to be over tired surely if you both work and share child care this is less likely to happen. I was drafting really good complex documents a week after twins were born Nothing happens to the brain because you hvae a baby and to suggest it does puts men off hiring women!

hello well i haven't actually dare admit this to anyone there's only me and ds know this and hes 8 months old but a couple of weeks ago through glazed vision he woke up in the night crying i picked him up not realising he had turned round facing the other way in his cot i put him in bed next to me pulled the cover up over what i thought was his legs and tried to bottle feed his feet .whoops!!
its only when he started kicking i reallised something wasn't right

I have left the front house door open all day, and left car doors open in car parks. The Saint of knackered mothers was obviously watching over me as nothing was ever taken.
I've also got in the bath fully clothed,and worse than that sat on the toilet and done a full wee without taking my pants down.
Tried to walk out of Tesco without paying.
Tried to shove the kettle in the fridge
Lost my phone and eventually found it in the fruit bowl
Put all the shit junk mail and envelopes in the special corner of the kitchen reserved for post, and binned the gas bill, husbands tax return and hospital letters.

Variously.......

Tried to make a phone call using the tv remote control.........
Put my contact lenses in, then put another pair in because I'd forgotten putting the first pair in....then been confused as to why I couldn't see......
Put a plastic basket of ironing on top of the cooker and switched the hob on......melted plastic everywhere, smouldering clothes, cooker ruined.......
The car keys were once discovered in the freezer. I never did find out if that was me (permanently sleep deprived) or XH (permanently pissed)

I used to wake up in the middle of the night and panic that DS had fallen out of bed/wriggled under the duvet. I once mistook a soft toy at the bottom of the bed for DS, and felt awful that he had nearly fallen out of the bed. I never co slept and he was fast asleep in his Moses basket on all of these occasions

I also call dd by the dogs name.
I type 1471 into the burglar alarm.
I froze my purse.
I poured orange juice onto my weetabix and milk into the glass.
I put the dogs food out and licked the spoon.

Ladies, these are all recent. I'm 41 and dd is 18. If you think it's going to get better I'm here to tell you it ain't. Grab a glass of wine and laugh about it, assuming you remember where you left the corkscrew....

I've forgotten to strap DS into the car seat twice. I also drove to the supermarket, walked home and wondered who had stolen my car off the drive!!

So many minor things I scarcely give them a thought.

We coslept with DC2 and DC3 as tinies because the sleep deprivation with DC1 had been so horrific. For the first month or so he had all his feeds expressed, and fed round the clock every 2 hours. I'd feed and settle him (an hour) then express the next feed (another half hour) and snatch maybe thirty minutes before the cycle started again.

As I say, we didn't cosleep with DC1 because of the terror of SIDS. But several times I half-woke thinking I'd fallen asleep feeding him, and he'd rolled on to his stomach. So I would desperately try to roll "him" on to his back, panicking that he had suffocated.

DH was unimpressed. He is 6'7" and at the time was probably 18st. Being mistaken for a newborn wasn't good for his image.

I once fell asleep feeding my baby and woke up as she dropped off the edge of the chair onto the floor. She was fine thankfully.

I remember crawling around our bed looking for the DC1 in the middle of the night. DH woke up and asked what I was doing, I said 'where's the baby?' and he said 'er, in his cot'.

But the worst thing, the absolute worst thing, was when I put DC3 in his car seat down on the road (country road with no pavement) in front of the car while I got DC1 and DC2 into the car, then switched on the engine and so nearly drove off over DC3

I used to drive to work with one eye shut at a time, in the hope that it would allow each half of my brain to sleep in turn.I did this because I had seen a documentary which told me that was how sharks slept, and I was desperate enough to try it.
I also used to boil dd's bottle to sterilise it, and ended up boiling the pan dry and melting the bottle AT LEAST once a week for 4 months. I was just too tired to think that I should probably buy a proper steriliser.
I love her to bits, but she didn't half put me through it....

I signed for a parcel with one boob hanging out. I was so tired that when I noticed (mid-signature), I decided to style it out, finish the parcel transaction and exchange pleasantries. Poor old postie never looked me in the eye again!

Oh featherandblack thank you so much, the parking space thing is exactly the kind of trick my brain plays all the time! I feel less alone now!

I was staying in a hotel (without DCs) for a work conference. Abroad and had arrived the night before so was jetlagged and also conference required an early start. Got up, did basic toiletries, did my hair, put on make-up, put on socks & shoes, opened hotel room door, thought 'Oh it's a bit breezy', looked down and realised I wasn't wearing any clothes. It was like one of those nightmares, except real. Luckily no one saw!

We'd been living in the middle of nowhere for a year and then moved to a city for ease of commute etc. Left work, automatically got on a train, got off the train at the other end, got on local country bus, got off bus, walked half-mile across fields to old house, thought 'That's not DH's car'... realised I'd gone to old house.

I also regularly shampoo my hair several times (I think) as I can never remember if I've already done it.

And whilst typing this I thought "Something smells like it's burning" and realised I put parsnips in the oven a long time ago. Bit scared to go and look.

Pleaaase can this one go in Classics? It's making me feel much less alone!

Dropped DS in the middle of the night when he was less than a week old. I tripped up a step into our bedroom and he just shot out of my arms. He rolled the full length of the bedroom! I then proceeded to try and find him in the dark and without my glasses on? Why didn't I switch the light on?

Also I drove into town, parked the car, did the shopping and then caught the bus home. I only realised when I got home and wondered where the car was. Had to catch another bus and retrieve the car.

I bet theslow cooked dinosaur was tender though - met just fell off the bone!

DH and I have left the car door of DD1 wide open 3 times after getting her out. Got back to the car and realised! Glad we only seem to go to nice places