to kill all the spiders?

Leave the hoover on for a few moments once you've sucked them up. The vacuum suffocates them.
I'm intrigued by the reference to fire. I thought I was very thorough in spider eradication but the idea of a flamethrower is quite appealing.

Yuk. Move to Australia?

I will not be menaced by my own lightswitch........pmsl

PMSL at putting hadrian's wall back up and calling in the army.

Good luck today, OP!
by the way:

WHERE ARE THE PHOTOS?!!

The UK?? England?? Oh sweet baby Jesus!! Run for the hills... I'm in Yorkshire we have plenty of hills. Please please please keep the eight legged buggers down your way, nuke them by all means just don't send them here

You're in England? Like, in the UK England?? We need to deploy all available forces to Hadrian's Wall immediately to stop them crossing the border and joining up with the ones we have up here already!

Do you have a thatch roof?.

Sussex!!! She's in Sussex!! England!! I think we all assumed you were in Australia!
Kill them with fire, now. I don't want invasion to spread along south coast to Dorset!!

Usually I'm a trap and release person but you sound overun.

Conkers, op! When they're ready, gather conkers and put them in a corner of every room. They deter spiders.

But - 80? Eurgh. Could you get in a pest control man, see what he advises??

We have a huge one in the garage (it doesn't have the car in there) it's like seeing a mouse out of the corner of my eye. DD and I are taking staples out of newspapers and the bugger landed on me I think because we had the cheek to tidy our own garage.

There was a very large hairy spider in the bath, I got a glass'n'card and did the "Oh, who left you here" thing. DD told me to stop being weird.

I couldn't kill them but I only have to face them one at a time

The nests are in the garden, btw, obviously if it was in the house they'd be goners.

Yes, Devora, exactly which is why our garden becomes a no-go are every late summer/autumn.

There are disgusting, pulsing, heaving nests of tiny spiders everywhere in the spring and every year I vow I am going genocidal on their asses but I forget and the fuckers have all hatched and dispatched across my garden by the time I get around to it.
Stripey, bastarding, master web-making fuckers.

So where does one get this spider poison? I couldn't find anything of the sort in the garden centre...

80 false widow spiders making nests in any part of my house would be a huge issue for me. I would have to move out!!

Kill the fuckers if you can.

I am not a fan of spiders. Tiny ones I can cope with, but the huge house spiders terrify me. There just must be a better way of controlling the insect population than that.

Ugh, I hate spider season. Those stripy ones are very nifty at spinning huge webs, I'll say that for them. I had one wrap itself round my face on the way home from work - it had spun a web between a wall and a lamppost, right across the pavement.

I would be bringing in the army, OP.

We now have around 80 of the fuckers in the kitchen. They are making nests. For many people this wouldn't even be an issue

Er - who are THESE people?!!!!

This is the reason I could never live in Australia. I am assuming that this is not in Britain, OP!!!

I had a fucking massive one run across the floor this week. It's just that time of year. Sprayed it with fly/wasp killer then friend put glass over it to contain it whilst it died (it was quite a quick death but i left it overnight to be sure it was defo dead).

I vote for burn the house down. Or - OP - no offence but is your house really cluttered and dirty? Apparently they don't like clean minimalist houses like mine hence I don't get that many. i'm also on the 3rd floor which helps, I think!

I would burn the house to the ground and never look back

Dear god, OP how the hell do you live with that?

I had a dragonfly come into the house the other evening, he lurked outside and every time I let the dog out into the garden he flew in. Three times I had to take him out. I thought that was really bad but at least he just sat on the light fitting until I moved him. Picked him up in a large bowl. But all those spiders, I couldn't stand it.

I think in your shoes I'd definitely be looking at using the spider poison, no question.

A couple is ok. A take over is not. Kill them.

DH and I have just pulled out all the sofas in search of the huge spider that ran across the floor. There was no way we could relax in here knowing he was there. I killed him with a brush and I am not afraid to say it. The thing was about an inch off the floor when running, no exaggeration.

I don't actually mind the big spindly ones, and actually we had one beside the shower that I left there as it didn't move much. And there was a little one under the skirting that would peek out when we were on the loo. We named him Boris.

But after tonight's visitor they are all getting hoovered and the windows outside will be washed and de-spidered. When the spiders are running at me it is game over.

If a spider dropped into my hair I would be moving house.

I hate, hate, hate those fucking huge house spiders. I have a size-related tolerance when it comes to spiders and they are way beyond my threshold. DH and I had an argument last week because he refused to kill one. The fact that he put the life of an insect before the fear of his family still grates.

Btw I wasn't mind-boggled by the fact that spiders do poop, just that it's apparently visible to the eye.