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Original poster

to kill all the spiders?

997 replies

bessarabiantiger · 29/08/2015 16:17

We live in the country, we're very lucky with our house and we've been here two years. There's a lake on the property and with lakes come mosquito hoardes (fine, live and let live, we knew about this when ee took the place, and with mosquito hoardes come spiders.

I am alright with most types of spider, I allow Huntsman (? Spindly legged) in every room as they're no bother and keep the mossies down when we have the windows open. Brown recluse get ejected with a glass & cardboard or eaten by the cat.

This year we have a problem with false widows and a kind we've never seen before. They are awful. Striped and with extra long front legs, they shamble across the ceiling as if they're drunk & often fall in your drink/dinner/hair.

We now have around 80 of the fuckers in the kitchen. They are making nests. For many people this wouldn't even be an issue. But me being me I've said to myself, well the windows are open, they aren't scaring me on purpose (even after the night I walked into the kitchen without turning the lights on and had one who was making a web land on my face. ARGH!) Etc. Etc.

We've used every natural repellant going. From plug-in spider scarers (knew they were bullshit but was at wits end last sept) to conkers, peppermint oil, spider hoover, removing them all outside (shudder. That was a horrible day) only to find a new gang there in the morning.

After me and DH being bitten this week (him on the neck, me on the hand WHILST ASLEEP IN BED! Hand swelled up for the next 24 hours, yes, it was a spider, found it crawling down my leg) I have finally and very reluctantly bought spider poison.

I am hoping someone can offer a better solution before I have to use it. DS has mild asthma and am worried about the effect on him (we will evacuate for the day after use) and it's an aersol as well as a poison. It sounds silly, but I've only ever used aerosol twice- the ozone layer was so drummed into me at school it feels akin to pooping straight down a whales blow hole!

AIBU to kill the spiders so they stop biting us? Has anyone got any other solution?

We break webs and remove visible offenders bi-daily BTW.

OP posts:
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BifsWif · 30/08/2015 13:31

Cross post!

BifsWif · 30/08/2015 13:31

Op please tell me you mean harvestmen spiders and not huntsman?

Original poster
bessarabiantiger · 30/08/2015 13:30

Solo I have to correct myself, they're not Huntsmen, they're weird spindly-legged ones that look like they're made of glass.

OK. Warning time, I am off to take photos of spiders (although most will stay in the light fittings until dusk), I will try and track down Isembard, she was on the kitchen ceiling earlier but has now buggered off and I will also try and snap the terrifying beast who lives in the woodpile.

dons big girl pants and Blunderbuss

Wish me luck Chaps!

OP posts:
DarthVadersTailor · 30/08/2015 13:20

OP terminate with EXTREME prejudice. Use any and all means necessary.

Best of luck!

Solo · 30/08/2015 13:20

Huntsmen? in the UK?! Shock I had no idea!! and I've been bitten by spiders here in the UK 3 years out of 4. Painful doesn't cover it.

airside · 30/08/2015 13:17

Post the pics. Anyone not already a gibbering wreck at the details you've posted can cope with a few pictures!

This is making me giggle so much.

Original poster
bessarabiantiger · 30/08/2015 13:13

I have not tried those. I imagine I would wake up in the morning to find all of them attached to the cat. She is not a bright animal. She went to the vet last week, came home woozy from the GA, and decided she needed a cuddle. Luckily for everyone involved DH (who had brought me in a magazine to read) managed to grab her AS SHE JUMPED INTO MY BATH.

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MrsTedCrilly · 30/08/2015 13:06

I am a glass and paper kind of girl and hate killing spiders, but with an invasion like this I would resort to annihilation! Sorry if anyone has said it already but have you tried those sticky traps? Cardboard hollow prisms covered in sticky spider attracting gloop. My mum set a few on the floor and within a week they were black as every single bit had a dead spider stuck to it, amazing things!

Original poster
bessarabiantiger · 30/08/2015 12:56

Ridingcrop, I did think to do that, but read somewhere that some people are so scares of spiders that even pictures can make them really upset. And I didn't want to upset anyone.

if you're feeling very masochistic I can go and annoy some of the really aggressive ones in the woodpile and film it?

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Original poster
bessarabiantiger · 30/08/2015 12:53

Guinepig, if they're hardshell I find Windowlene does a good job or removing, if they're fabric, then I'm afraid you're buggered.

OP posts:
LeftMyRidingCropInTheMortuary · 30/08/2015 12:52

Thanks, OP.

However, I am a touch masochistic and want to see pics of the actual spiders please.

TIA.

Original poster
bessarabiantiger · 30/08/2015 12:46

Airside, shall I purchase a Blunderbuss? I bought a bugle in a junk shop the other day. Apparently, using one in M&S to summon a cashier to the till so you can buy your pants is frowned upon.

spiderpoo appears to begin as a greasy liquid (hence cushion staining) but if left todry turns into a peppeppercorn. I know far too much about spiderpoo frankly. We don't have mice, we DO have voles (the cat occasionally brings a live one into the house if it looks like we're all sitting still for too long) their poo is more cylindrical.

poofacts.

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guineapigpie · 30/08/2015 12:40

Ah. Now I know what it is covering the suitcases we keep in our garage. Spider poop. Lovely.

airside · 30/08/2015 12:40

Holy shit. Am I becoming one of those bonkers Englishwomen who move to the tropics & berate people who visit? "Oh CALM DOWN Gladys. It's only a LITTLE Cobra!"

Yes.

When I bought this house (very rural) the previous owner told me she was glad it had sold quickly so that it wouldn't be empty for long enough for the wildlife to take over. At the time I thought she was just a bit odd but after a couple of years pushing back the local spider/mouse/wasp/swallow population, I understand her concern.

And I have never seen spider poo like that!

Original poster
bessarabiantiger · 30/08/2015 12:23

Bloodylead, we lived abroad for a while, one day there were baby scorpions in the laundry basket, and at the end of our road was a 9' croc in a pond, and when DS & I went out after sunset I had to carry a huge bamboo stick to ward off packs of feral dogs. Now I think about it, there's no "becoming" about it is there? I am the batty Englishwoman already!

It's def a seasonal thing, they all come in droves when it rains, Sept is also breeding season I think so we're more overrun than usual. I will not be evicted by arachnids! Am going to have a good hoover and then make tiny nappies for the remainder.

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Original poster
bessarabiantiger · 30/08/2015 12:13

Blahblah, couldn't agree more, leave me alone, I leave you alone, just stop pooping on EVERYTHING. Getting into my bed to bite me is just not on.

I did get to spend most of the next day choosing my costume for when my superpowers kicked in though.

OP posts:
BloodyLeadStuckInSharpener · 30/08/2015 12:13

80?????????????????????????????

MOVE THE FUCK OUT

BlahBlahUsername · 30/08/2015 12:05

Oh, is that it? I always worried it was mouse droppings.

I killed a spider last night, but then I noticed a second one standing in the same area it had come from and felt really guilty, like I just killed an arachnid Romeo or Juliet. Sad

It won't stop me killing anymore that come my way though. Generally if they don't bother me I don't bother them. Bothering me includes running across the carpet or hovering on the ceiling above my head. If they'd just stick to dark corners we could all get along fine...

Original poster
bessarabiantiger · 30/08/2015 12:04

Hudyer - Amazon.

I'm hoping to do as much of this without poison as poss (may have to spray light fittings though. Recessed lights. Perhaps they're all in the house because they're scared of the bats in the attic? Holy shit. Am I becoming one of those bonkers Englishwomen who move to the tropics & berate people who visit? "Oh CALM DOWN Gladys. It's only a LITTLE Cobra!")

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Original poster
bessarabiantiger · 30/08/2015 11:37

Oh they loaded! Yay!

OP posts:
Original poster
bessarabiantiger · 30/08/2015 11:36

It will not let me upload multiple pics. One moment please...

Worryingly, when I told DH I was off to take pictures of spider poo, he did not bat an eyelid.

That said, I did name one of the bathroom spiders Isembard and made the entire household (including guests) excuse themselves to "visit Isembard" instead of "go to the loo".

There is every possibility I've gone a bit potty.

OP posts:
Coconutty · 30/08/2015 11:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
bessarabiantiger · 30/08/2015 11:26

Spiderpoo spiderpoo...

Exhibit a: spiderpoo on an old board outside that I use to protect the thing underneath from getting pooped on. It looks like peppercorns. For scale an English Penny and a bird poo. Because let's just make this a scatalogical fiesta shall we?

Exhibit B: spiderpoo on a much-loved cushion cover. Funfact! Spiderpoo is made of pure hatred and never washes out.

to kill all the spiders?
to kill all the spiders?
OP posts:
BifsWif · 30/08/2015 11:23

This thread is terrifying me, yet I can't leave until I see spider poo pics.

I concur with other posters. Kill them with fire.

I keep thinking of that scene in arachnophobia at the end where the house is overrun with spiders.

Honestly, I could not live in a house that had that many spiders. Pest control might be an option? Otherwise, you have to move. Immediately.

Original poster
bessarabiantiger · 30/08/2015 11:15

I'm going to wear a crash helmet. We have some of those huge ones who run out and attack you when you touch their webs. Our landlord very considerately designed the cupboard around the fridge so they would have a perfect spider-sized hidey-hole from whence to leap, possibly shouting the spider equivalent of "GET OFF MY LAND!"

Am also going to take pictures of spider poo for you all. Because who doesn't want to see what comes out of a spiderbum? Squares. That's who.

Watch this space.

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