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Original poster

How can I be more "French"?

445 replies

hangingoutattheendofmywick · 30/06/2015 11:42

So this morning I did an Ocado shop and stumbled across the world foods department. There is a French section and I was immediately transported to my holidays when I was young at Keycamp in France. I basically ordered a shed load of French delights and as I'm currently really down in the dumps and life is a bit shite I've decided to BE more French.

Other than learning the language again (I've lost it since GCSE) and eating / drinking all my French delights I'm wondering what I can do to make my life a bit more French. Any ideas?

I'm looking for :
Music
Literature
Recipes
Drinks
General ways of living.

Ta! Wine

OP posts:
GoringBit · 30/06/2015 14:45

Oh yes, andouillette Envy

Alibabsandthe40Musketeers · 30/06/2015 14:45

I love this thread.

Three weeks until we head to rural Burgundy for our annual trip (holiday home) to drown in the wine lake. Reading this is making me impatient Grin

FraggleHair · 30/06/2015 14:45

I had to put 'andouillette' in google images. Not sure about that, looks as though there may be a fair amount of cartilage chewing involved.

MamanOfThree · 30/06/2015 14:45

But andouillettes are delicious! And so are pig trotters (DH hasn't recovered from that one yet!)

Greythorne · 30/06/2015 14:45

Say any of the following randomly:

C'est bon, quoi. (no way)

Ca va pas la tete. (You idiot)

J'etais au tacquet. (I was over the moon.)

C'était la cata sur le periph ce matin. (traffic was bad today)

No! Je ne suis pas d'accord! (Stop swinging from the ceiling children)

Qu'est-ce qu'on a bien rigolé. (It was funny)

microferret · 30/06/2015 14:41

I lol'd at your post, oddcomm Grin

Bonsoir · 30/06/2015 14:41

Leave your children in the care of people you have never met and for whom you have absolutely no references.

AnitaBlake123 · 30/06/2015 14:40

watch 'Amelie' whilst toying with an empty wine glass, wear black, get a silk scarf or 10 for daily wear.

Shrug at all questions.

oddcommentator · 30/06/2015 14:38

Ignore every single EU law that causes the slightest inconvenience and shrug at les anglais who seem to grasp and implement with a bizarre frenzy.

look at a small garden pond and think - there is dinner in there, if not then a starter.

Claim to enjoy andouillette.

CainInThePunting · 30/06/2015 14:38

Add message | Report | Message poster MamanOfThree Tue 30-Jun-15 14:15:43
I have to say ice in wine has always been a No-No for me unless it's very hot and the wine is well... Crap.

Well that could explain it except that these old money types recommended it to us and they've certainly drunk us dry on other occasions! If I'm not worrying about running out of ice, I'm worrying about running out of wine.

And the cigarettes! You strategically place ashtrays all around the table and they still nonchalantly flick ash and butts on the terrace.

microferret · 30/06/2015 14:37

Start making films which seem profound but actually don't go anywhere and make audiences come away thinking "what was all that about...". And stick a random song in the middle of each film which doesn't really add to the plot and comes out of nowhere.

ppeatfruit · 30/06/2015 14:36

Bonsoir I like the 'my' grocer etc. but they don't refer to their own hair or arms etc... they could be anyones Grin.

Bonsoir · 30/06/2015 14:29

Render your menfolk totally domestically incompetent as an insurance policy against divorce.

ppeatfruit · 30/06/2015 14:29

BUT Garlick After an enormous revolution they still ADORE their aristos and our royals AND they didn't change their mode of address, why tf do they still use tu and vous? It's a mystery. To be fair they don't know either.

MelanieCheeks · 30/06/2015 14:27

"Etes-vous sur l'adhesif?"

lavenderhoney · 30/06/2015 14:27

Do all the cooking ( even barbecue:) and cleaning whilst the menfolk sit round with pastis or wine moaning about the government. Then let them choose what they want to watch on the TV. You may have a small martini but you never get drunk or tipsy.

Kiss everyone on greeting and leaving even if you don't like them. This can take hours so say you are leaving about an hour before you plan to.

Glare at anyone who doesn't speak perfect very fast French and pretend everything they say is incomprehensible. Even " Maldives". After humiliating them for as long as possible, say " oh, Maldives, bof" and then shrug. Then inxplicably be really nice.

Have a dog which is small and has no manners.

EmilyAlice · 30/06/2015 14:25

My GD was given suppositories for conjunctivitis. She had four medicines (we only wanted eye drops).
Also learn to pronounce "terroir" with a sneer (as in no one else can make wine as they don't have the right sort).

Bonsoir · 30/06/2015 14:24

After you've practiced all the advice on this thread for a year or two, you can wear this t-shirt:

www.etrececile.com/am-i-french-yet-oversize-tshirt.html

GoringBit · 30/06/2015 14:24

Bold fail Blush

muzzybee · 30/06/2015 14:23

You cannot live a French lifestyle without a French car eg. Peugeot. If you get stuck in traffic on the motorway drive on the hard shoulder or over a field if necessary.

GoringBit · 30/06/2015 14:23

'Maman', for YABU, how about 'vous n'avez pas raison' as an approximation?

I've always found French people will speak English where they can, as long as you at least try to speak French first. Seems more than fair to me, I think their reputation for rudeness is unfair.

MamanOfThree · 30/06/2015 14:19

You also have 'se faire baiser' ....

Garlick · 30/06/2015 14:18

VERY good point about revolutions! The French have full-on strikes/demos/riots/revolutions, all the while discussing relevant philosophies, and then stuff changes. We just sit around arguing for/against the status quo for years, then nothing changes.

Vive la révolution!

CoteDAzur · 30/06/2015 14:18

I've never heard of "Baisez-vous". It sounds like a Brit's awkward translation of "F U".

They would say "Va te faire foutre". Polite as the French are, they don't use 'vous' when telling someone to go f* himself Smile

MamanOfThree · 30/06/2015 14:18

Quite funny though. It's the sort of things you don't see as a French person because it's so normal.
I suppose this would be the same the other way around :)

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