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Original poster

Fictional characters who could have done with a good talking to

311 replies

MmeLindor · 29/06/2015 21:15

Reading this this blog today and thinking that I would have included Donna Moss.

Donna could have done with realising that she was more than just a secretary, or admin assistant. By the end of Season 7, she'd escaped Josh's office and snagged herself a fab job, but wish it hadn't taken so long! Typical scene - in the CJ interview, where she says 'oh, but what do I know', I wanted to give her a good shake.

Who would you include?

OP posts:
Hoppinggreen · 29/06/2015 22:43

Cinderella - stop being such a fecking doormat with all your " yes stepmother" crap and waiting to be rescued by a Prince. Woman up and tell your evil stepmother and ugly step sisters to do their own bloody housework. Oh, and and stop talking to mice, it's just weird.

KingJoffreyLikesJaffaCakes · 29/06/2015 22:43

Totally Bridget Jones.

What a train wreck..

Sidge · 29/06/2015 22:42

Bridget fucking Jones.

Sort yourself out for goodness sake.

MadAngryGnome · 29/06/2015 22:41

Linda Radlett. Stop faffing about with 'great loves' who turn out to be boring bankers, give your daughter a nicer name and a bit of attention once in a while and have a bit of self respect over Fabrice.

Carrie also needs to stop investing in shoes and write a sensible financial plan.

IreneR · 29/06/2015 22:41

I love this thread. And all of you for contributing. It's MADE my afternoon.

fairnotfit · 29/06/2015 22:40

Lizzie Eustace. Shallow, vacuous, greedy, spineless.

Also Becky Bloomwood. You're not a warmhearted, well-meaning pickle who gets herself into amusing scrapes. You're a materialistic airhead.

Sansarya · 29/06/2015 22:40

Anne of Green Gables: I know you love Gilbert and are delighted to be his wife etc etc, but for gods sake get him to take a doctor's practice in a city, where you can keep up with your writing ambitions, than in a tiny fishing village in the middle of nowhere where you'll have nothing to do except get involved in the vagaries of village life!

YonicScrewdriver · 29/06/2015 22:40

Dumbledore. Stop leaving everything to a bunch of teenagers. And tell someone else the bloody plan!

LuluJakey1 · 29/06/2015 22:38

Cathy in Wuthering Heights
Tess D'Urbyfield
The new Mrs DeWinter in 'Rebecca'

ThePhoenixRising · 29/06/2015 22:37

The tiger in Life of Pi :o :o :o

Love that!

StandoutMop · 29/06/2015 22:35

Jude (the obscure), just so much unnecessary angst over everything.

In fact a lot of Hardy makes me rage - maybe that is the point of them, misery of our own making and all that.

PiperChapstick · 29/06/2015 22:35

Fanny Price.i would tell her to stop being such a, erm, fanny! All that sulking in corners whilst the man she loved flirted with the hussy Mary, FFS woman take a stand and fight for your man!

Having said that Fanny is my favourite Austen heroin!

The twins from Sofia the First. Amber, get your head out your arse, you ain't all that. And James, what a big girls blouse, get a grip!

buttonmoonboots · 29/06/2015 22:34

Sorry, went a bit over-serious there.

I'd like to add Dumbledore for being so bloody enigmatic and confusing.

JinglyJanglyJungleBigGameTours · 29/06/2015 22:33

The tiger in Life of Pi. Just eat him ffs, it'd make a better ending.

buttonmoonboots · 29/06/2015 22:33

Nick in Gone Girl. I don't want to spoil it so I'll just say I'm unhappy with the ending and leave it there.

The teacher in Ferris Bueller who blights an otherwise brilliant film by trivialising sexual abuse ("so that's how it is in their house") when he sees Sloane kissing her 'dad' (Ferris in disguise).

CoffeeAndOranges · 29/06/2015 22:31

Place marking, I love this thread already!

Faraway Tree washerwoman Grin

flightywoman · 29/06/2015 22:29

Oh and Susan Hill's Simon Seraillier in book two. Stop the bloody mooning about, you didn't want her before, you don't get to be all "I'm so upset and sensitive" now.

RoosterCogburn · 29/06/2015 22:26

I have Deewe but I don't think I count it as real Forest.
Although hopefully she would have given Ginty her comeuppance

flightywoman · 29/06/2015 22:25

Whatshisname in The Kite Runner. Get over yourself, you selfish, self-obsessed, arrogant tosser. It's not all about you.

The woman in The Bookseller of Kabul. FFS woman, these people who have NOTHING are kind and generous, and you are leeching off what little they have. Do some shopping, buy them some food or fuel, stop taking their meagre supplies AND THEN WRITING ABOUT WHAT LITTLE THEY HAVE. Parasite.

DeeWe · 29/06/2015 22:25

Rooster Have you read Spring term?

headinhands · 29/06/2015 22:20

The big sister in Harry and his Bucket Full of Dinosaurs: 'Why be so spiteful ffs? He's your little brother for crissake!'

FadedRed · 29/06/2015 22:20

Cremebrulee - never a truer word was spoken. Grin
Severus Snape - you could have been a bit nicer, without giving the game away. Miserable git.
Inspector Morse: if you're so clever, then there really is no need to be so patronising or tedious
DI Richard Poole: why didn't you get together with Camille when you had the chance, you know you both wanted to? Life really was too short.

WhenMarnieWasThere · 29/06/2015 22:19

Another twilight one...

Edward, you stalker!

RoosterCogburn · 29/06/2015 22:18

Patrick Merrick - surely you can see that Ginty is charming and beautiful but shallow as a puddle.

Gatsby - Daisy Buncanan is a horrid horrid person - you've chased the dream and found her, now walk away. she's not worth it

Vijac · 29/06/2015 22:17

What's wrong with poor old garnie?

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