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Original poster

What the bloody hell is this creature in my outhouse?? [pic]

592 replies

CountryMummy1 · 13/05/2015 23:41

Just been outside the feed the cat who has his food in the outhouse. There, hanging from the old pipework are 3 absolutely huge cocoons. They are hideous! Black and more than 4 inches long. They weren't there yesterday. What the hell is going to come out? AIBU to be very worried?

What the bloody hell is this creature in my outhouse?? [pic]
OP posts:
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22
MardyBra · 14/05/2015 15:29

Why is this in Aibu?

blackbettybambalam · 14/05/2015 15:27

This almost put me of cakes for a moment.

Almost.

emotionsecho · 14/05/2015 15:18

Whatever it is it is one ugly fucker.

If it is the slimy mould thingy that moves you definitely need a flame thrower, or possibly napalm.

Hypotenuse · 14/05/2015 15:08

Well this is grim.

Stratter5 · 14/05/2015 15:07

Giant pod fungus isn't really cutting it, comfort wise

lampshady · 14/05/2015 15:04

I'm quite disappointed it's not a creature. I'll lie to myself. I'm comfortable with that.

ScrambledSmegs · 14/05/2015 15:01

2rebecca - .

Also useful in the event of a zombie apocalypse.

neepsandtatties · 14/05/2015 14:58

I'm not convinced though, the beast appeared overnight and according to the earlier link "This particular fungus has been developing for some time, indicated from the size of the fruit body and number of concentric rings within the fruiting body, representing the seasons of reproduction."

It actually looks like a Enteridium lycoperdon , other than the colour, so it could be another Enteridium sub-sepcies? Plus Enteridium is a slime mould, which is what the expert thought - Kind Alfred Cakes are a fungi.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 14/05/2015 14:46

Presumably because King Alfred was the one who famously burnt the cakes he was supposed to be watching?

TwartFaceBeetj · 14/05/2015 14:46

Answers all here high
www.timberwise.com/news/surveyors-photo-king-alfred-cakes

Themrmen · 14/05/2015 14:45

Just marking place as I need to know what it is now!

highlighta · 14/05/2015 14:43

WTF did the name King Alfreds Cake come from....

And how do you get rid more importantly.....

And how did it get there so quick...

And its spreading...

Phew to the fact I don't live in the Midlands....

Give me a snake or a hairy spider anyday. At least I know what there are capable of - and how to er, get rid of them...

Gimmesomemore · 14/05/2015 14:42

Or possibly this, if you hear any taps on your window tonight, op.Grin

What the bloody hell is this creature in my outhouse?? [pic]
allibobs78 · 14/05/2015 14:42

If it's fungus, tea tree oil will kill it I'd just pour the whole bottle over it lol

aintnothinbutagstring · 14/05/2015 14:40

We had pasta fungus once, that's fairly common though, put bleach on it and it turned orange, shrivelled up and died. Tight on you op, you got turd fungus.

Gimmesomemore · 14/05/2015 14:38

I'm thinking it's this Shock

What the bloody hell is this creature in my outhouse?? [pic]
Gruntfuttock · 14/05/2015 14:38

007hel "I know a bug man"

That conjures up a horrible image. Like something out of The Metamorphosis.

bendybrickpumpkinpatch · 14/05/2015 14:36

That King Alfreds thing has made me feel genuinely sick and anxious.

Its fucking horrible. Shock

TwartFaceBeetj · 14/05/2015 14:34

This is a pic of the king alfreds cake one in the house and one on a tree, they are described as hard

What the bloody hell is this creature in my outhouse?? [pic]
What the bloody hell is this creature in my outhouse?? [pic]
catsmother · 14/05/2015 14:34

DON'T POKE IT

A couple of days ago DH noticed a "lump of moss" dangling from one of our garden chairs (ping pong ball sized, yellow-green). He pulled it off the chair...........

THOUSANDS of tiny yellow green spidery things erupted from the "moss ball" and ran all over his hand.

He did 16 years in the Army and has seen some shit - I've never seen him scream and vomit simultaneously..........[shocked]

Never seen anything like them - inter dimensional beings we reckon

Ha ha BMW6 ..... exactly the same thing happened to me last year except the 'moss ball' was hanging off a pot of bamboo. Thing is, I'd been picking up 'moss' (I hope it was bloody moss) all morning 'cos we've got loads on the roof that gets washed/blown off. I now wear industrial style gloves and poke the 'moss' with a stick before I touch it.

Though I didn't vomit your DH is a wuss .......

2rebecca · 14/05/2015 14:32

Why hairspray? Are you worried it's not stiff enough? I'd put an antifungal wash on or if you have some Jeyes fluid lying around you could coat it in that until you get an antifungal or exert advice

ginagslovechild · 14/05/2015 14:28

I'm actually wetting myself reading this thread!

OP have you been eaten yet???

crazymomma93 · 14/05/2015 14:26

Shit the bed! Id leave and NEVER return!

ScrambledSmegs · 14/05/2015 14:24

Can of hairspray and a lighter. Quick, before they take over the world!

mrshuggybear · 14/05/2015 14:23

Wear even.

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