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Original poster

What the bloody hell is this creature in my outhouse?? [pic]

592 replies

CountryMummy1 · 13/05/2015 23:41

Just been outside the feed the cat who has his food in the outhouse. There, hanging from the old pipework are 3 absolutely huge cocoons. They are hideous! Black and more than 4 inches long. They weren't there yesterday. What the hell is going to come out? AIBU to be very worried?

What the bloody hell is this creature in my outhouse?? [pic]

OP posts:

Thread gallery

Clothahump · 23/05/2015 15:50

Their wings are shaped like ears, hence name. At least that's what Enid Blyton told us

DustBunnyFarmer · 16/05/2015 14:10

Well, you are already over the limit so you either stop drinking or you move onto the Lidl Sherry that your mad aunty Mabel gave you for Christmas 3 years ago or the Ouzo you brought back from Greece in 1998. Or you get better at stocking up to match your (realistic, honest) consumption levels.

QueefOfTheDamned · 16/05/2015 10:30

Dust bunny, a valid point. What do rural folk do when they run out of wine at 10.45pm?

CrabbyTheCrabster · 16/05/2015 09:18

MrsD your DH probably said mycelium? The mycelium is the fungal network - the body of it - that is underground or within the wood or whatever. The 'mushroom' is the fruit body that the fungus produces to spread spores. He's right that destroying the fruit body (ie the alien black fungus) won't destroy the mycelium.

emmelinelucas · 16/05/2015 01:52

ffs gambolling
bedtime

emmelinelucas · 16/05/2015 01:51

gamobolling around in the park

emmelinelucas · 16/05/2015 01:49

Oh Dust HaHaHa
Country please do

Original poster

CountryMummy1 · 15/05/2015 22:37

Whooooooooo just seen that we've been moved to classics!!! Will have to post more regularly about my countryside horrors Thanks all xx

OP posts:

DustBunnyFarmer · 15/05/2015 22:23

There are no handy convenience stores in the sticks, Queen. It is a chore having to get in a car every time you need a pint of milk or emergency munchies. Stick with the city.

QueefOfTheDamned · 15/05/2015 22:21

Fuck me. We've just offered on a rural property, surrounded by fields and with a huge outhouse. I'm withdrawing the offer and staying in the city. I'd rather take my chances with the smog and pollution than alien mould and mobile dead maggoty bunny corpses.

Moln · 15/05/2015 22:13

I'm still a bit concerned my cat is going to grow two more legs.

DustBunnyFarmer · 15/05/2015 21:39

PS: DH's cat once ate a length of tinsel. He had to gently pull it about a cm a day until it was all out. Cats are idiots.

Our puppy did the same with a bandage, only it wasn't centimetres we had to trim each day. I think there was something like 8 feet of bandage in there. I can still remember him gambolling around in the park trailing several feet of it (brown tint, naturally) behind him.

emmelinelucas · 15/05/2015 21:27

2 penises ? why?
poor earwigs, it must be like permanently tied to 2 magnets, and you can't do anything about it.
No wonder they scuttle.

I listen to the owls hunting in my back garden. Mice squeak like buggery when they are picked up.
They tear the mouse to bits and slivers of mouse end up on my windows.
A dog fox wees on my wall.
Stinks.

DaysAreWhereWeLive · 15/05/2015 21:22

But, but...why does such a thing as this evil fungus exist? What is the point of its existence? Where's Darwin when you need him?

PS: DH's cat once ate a length of tinsel. He had to gently pull it about a cm a day until it was all out. Cats are idiots.

DrLego · 15/05/2015 21:02

emmeline,

I am not certain if they have ears

who needs ears

they have evil looking pincer things and 2 penises
woah

DustBunnyFarmer · 15/05/2015 20:03

a sparrow hawk landed about six feet in front of me with a live starling in its claws

I work across 2 sites in my current job. On the second week in my this job, I visited the other site and saw 2 seagulls pulling a duckling apart (to eat) outside my office

DartmoorDoughnut · 15/05/2015 20:01

So earwigs live in fungi ... makes sense! They're evil looking bastards

Still laughing at the rabbit being moved across the fields by the maggots, have this image in my head of them going "heave" and moving it another inch or so

emmelinelucas · 15/05/2015 19:48

DrLego

I was only jesting.
Really - is that why they are called earwigs ? I always thought that it was because they had tiny, but visible actual ears.
Never seen a pair of lugs on a ladybird, or a caterpiilar
But an actual earwig..I don't know, they are too wick to see and get a good look.

stayathomegardener · 15/05/2015 17:44

Wooo!
Thinking the cat/ cotton bud combination sealed the classics move

CurlyhairedAssassin · 15/05/2015 17:29

You know......those line on the inside of it that you say are like the ones in a tree. They could almost be......ribs - or something......

BuzzardBird · 15/05/2015 13:54

I bet that's what fucked my hearing

MrsDumbledore · 15/05/2015 13:25

Op -just told dh about this thread. He is a gardener and generally a bit of a nature geek and he said not to assume your problem has gone with just Jeyes fluid as what you could see would only be the fruit and you will still have a network of spores (I think that's what he meant but he used a longer word!) In the woodwork, so you may need to look into most appropriate fungicidal treatment or risk loosing the outhouse!

DrLego · 15/05/2015 12:59

well.. ants have killed people by crawling into their brains. and earwigs really do eat ear wax.

and while on the subject, it urns out some earwigs have 2 penises www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/17051546

I'm not sure what a right handed penis is but I wouldn't want 2 of them in my ear.

Doggygirl · 15/05/2015 11:57

Wonder why there were earwigs in it shudder?

MNHQ

BeccaMumsnet · 15/05/2015 11:40

Hi everyone - thanks for your classics nominations for this thread.
We're going to move it over there now
once we've finished having nightmares

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