The cute --weird-- rituals/jokes you do with your DP...

We just seem to have incorporated lots of silly phrases from League of Gentlemen that come up almost daily. ("My insides are all wrong", "There is a Swansea!", we always refer to cans of coke as "I can I can't." etc.)

Oh we also have our own language thing. World becomes 'wunyin,' snake becomes 'snuggin', sausages become 'swassagass'...

I just though of another one. If DH is being a bit ratty, I will ask him if he still loves me, to break the mood.

He then stops in his tracks and says "Of course I do, light of my life, candle in my darkness" all in a very monotone, bored way with a massive theatrical sign.

He did it once as a real answer and I took the pee out of him so badly that it is now a thing!

We are both Scottish but sometimes suddenly start talking to each other in a thick Lancashire accent. I've no idea when this started or why it continues but the conversations can last quite a while!

We also have a 'boop' competition where we nudge each other and say 'boop' when it's least expected. The one rule is no immediate boop-backs!

That actually sounds ridiculous writing it down

Love these!

We have a thing where whenever one of us is cooking, the other has to grope their bottom and sing 'you raise me up, so I can stand on mountains'

Also, we have an ongoing arse-slap competition, it happens whenever we get the opportunity and anywhere we are is fair game. It means we won't walk with the other one behind us for fear of getting a stinger and we can spend ages going 'after you' 'no, after you' to get the other one to go first.

me and the kids also do Daddy Tower which involves us bursting in on sleeping DP and piling on in order of height, so me first, then DS then DD. Dp absolutely loves it as you can imagine.

Andrew, it takes a very strong and loving relationship to withstand that kind of constant assault! In your sixties?

I like the quirky sweet ones. When one of us is ill ofor exgexhausted and the other gets up to go to the loo, the ill one says 'could you go for (do one for) me too, please' as if asking for a cup of tea.

Oh, and my bro and his wife, when it's time for their dog to do its business, sing a song beginning with the words: It's pup pisseroonie time, pup pisseroonie time...
They thought they were the only ones until they discovered a woman who sings to her dog: wee-wees for you - wee-wees for me - wee-wees for the little pups under the sea...

This thread is hilarious! And I thought we were eccentric in our family!
If anyone on TV produces a particularly melodramatic rant, at the end of it one of us will be sure to intone sagely: S/he's cross. I can tell.
Any image of a pig or a real pig seen anywhere, at least one of us has to exclaim in a high-pitched, enthusiastic voice: Piggies!!!
For some reason, the word 'hello' when spoken amongst family members has morphed into 'aylaw.' We never use it to people outside the family.
If anyone says, 'I'm off,' somebody has to reply: Must be the weather.

We have lots too. One involves hiding a small toy cat for each other to find where we wouldn't expect it. When DH went on a business trip, the cat was in his pants in the suitcase. Sometimes I find it in a packed lunch. Trouble is, I haven't seen the cat for months so one of us has obviously put it somewhere so obscure that it's been lost.

Then there's Foot Phone. When we're sitting down watching TV in the evening, the Foot Phone will ring (one of us does a 'brrrr brrrr!' ring noise). DH then picks up the receiver ie. my foot and I say in a posh voice "Hello, Foot Phone!" and we proceed to have a conversation via the Foot Phone.

If we see a Megabus we have to shout Megabuuuus - doo doo dooo!

If we have rocket in salad we sing 'rocket yeah' in the style of Def Lepard. This has evolved to anything which can be made to rhyme with rocket - is the door locked? Lock-ed yeah...

We also do Simon's Cat! The silently pointing into an open mouth until some food or chocolate is passed over.

Can I just point out, to the poster earlier that said having a cat on your lap leads to the acknowledgement that you are incapacitated, you are not - you are incapussitated? With thanks to my lovely cat-mad friend who gifted me that one when we acquired two rescue cats

Gosh, didn't realise you were a sextagenarian, Andrew!
No reason why I should of course, just didn't ever cross my mind.

Growing up is over-rated - I'm nearly 50 and still haven't managed it - but then having a toddler really helps with the not-having-to-bother about it, I find!

PeaceOfWildThings If I did not know that DW is watching last night's TV I would suspect you of being her!

As for I think the answer round her is machinery-signs with the hands and the words Buzz, clank.

We are in our sixties. Do you think we should grow up?

Yes... if I ever get the horrific news 'madam, your husband has had an accident, he drove into a tree' I know my brain is on auto pilot to silently respond with 'OMG how is the car? ...and the tree?'

If either of knocks into something or stubs a toe against something in the house the other always asks whether the thing banged against has suffered any damage.

When one of us starts a sentence with 'I think...' it never goes unnoticed. There might be a look of shock or a muttered 'inadvisable' or 'did you get the required permission in triplicate?' or simply holding on tight to the nearest solid piece of furniture and bracing oneself.

I love this thread. I agree that it's what greases the wheels - in-jokes are what stops close-contact with people from becoming boring or awkward. Ours are fairly basic. We do Simon's cat "Miaaow!" of hunger, and one obscure one is when DH or I say something absurd/deliberately outrageous the other does a very open-mouthed show of shock and says "The Romans have invaded Carthage!" which ... is an expression and line from one of the Civilization CD-rom games, that we used to play online together when we were going out and living far apart.... [nerds] It's always stage-whispered in a voice of utter horror.

It cracks us up every time. There are loads more but they're really silly.

We do the Masterchef thing too but not quite in the same way. DH will say "this one's not quite up to Masterchef standards" and I'll give it points out of 10; or I'll say "I wonder what this would get from Masterchef" and he'll give it points out of 10.
Boring, eh?

Jingles get changed all the time, and song lines - both DS's used to be treated to MC Hammer's happy nappy time from "can't touch this" when it was time to be changed; various other songs were butchered altered for appropriate situations related to poo as well.

One family saying we have is "Storm's a-comin', Ma" if it looks like rain.

They sound so tedious when written down! But they're the grease on the wheels of our family interactions.

We have frequent thumb wars.
When in an airport, one of us will lean onto the suitcase-laden trolley and scoot while kicking their legs in the air, frog-style. The other must keep up their momentum with hearty shoves in the bum.

We have a microwavable lamb cuddly toy that I had for Christmas from DH's parents, we named her Iola and she would have entire conversations with us in a particular voice, usually quite violent adventures. (Sad, sad, sad and pre-baby)
There's an awful bully in work with 'im indoors aswell, who we've taken to calling 'Martha', no idea why.
All of our friends have nicknames, all male names and usually fairly irrelevant. ie, Jake is 'Sven the Gypsy'.
Lots more ... but the worst is that we refer to each other extremely lovingly as 'foofy' and slipped up in front of his mother once :p

Oh, Peaceofwildthings we have beeping noses too. If one of us is tired/ill/grumpy the beep is very faint, and the other will say "broken" in a sad voice. Animals have special names here, so train journeys where we point them out to one another must seem bewildering to anyone listening, and we also have stuffed animals with their own personalities. (And no kids.) Making up songs is a favourite, and we frequently adapt that advert jingle for a kids' magazine called "I love horses" to anything that either of us has expressed a mild interest in. ("I love wine, best of all the drinks. I love wine, it's my friend.")

Whoever goes up to bed first, when the other one comes up they have to be lying as flat as possible under the duvet with just their head showing and silently mouthing "help meeee", as if their body has been removed.

Sounds a bit gruesome written down.

Loving Majorie's pickled eggs

We're usually in the Deep South in our kitchen. I'm Momma, DP is Sugar-Bear and DS (17) is Bubba.
'Gee that sure smells goooood Momma!'
'That's Momma's secrit recipe Bubba!'
'Ain't nobody makes a cheese sanwish like Momma'
'You fool in' wit me boy? You wanna go cut down a switch from that thur tree to whip you skinny little ass?'
'Yeah! His skinny little white ass!'

Sorry I missed Jarod's meltdown. We'd have raised our imaginary handbags in a big 'oooooooooh'.

We have the teeth game. Usually played in bed. The aim is to touch the other person's teeth out of nowhere before they can close their mouth, it's tougher than it sounds