The cute --weird-- rituals/jokes you do with your DP...

Yummy, my ex was EA and we didn't have anything like the people on here (and me now) have. Meeting my DP made me realise that you should never settle for anything less than your worth. You will find your lobster

This thread for me is like stumbling into a parallel universe. Was in a highly abusive marriage for a long time. Now been single a while. I just can't believe how many people are so lucky to live with such camaraderie and fun in their day to day lives. And many may not even be aware how lucky they are. I have pretty much given up hope that someone nice is out there for me and it hurts to think so many have what I will never have

Oh yes, after "I've been thinking..." there's a look of concern and we ask "Did it hurt much?".

We also walk into each other, or he'll start leaning against me harder and harder (particularly if we're standing at a bar). Sometimes these are an affectionate nudge-type thing, other times it is purely to be annoying...

I love this thread

"ooh, come here a minute DP, you have some bits of cotton hanging from the bottom of your shorts....oops, my mistakes, it's actually your legs"

Haha I am so going to use this one this year

If we see eccentric mad looking lady or man 'I didn't know your mother/father/sister was coming'.

We say "Don't fancy yours much".

These are sweet :) we have atupid names for things that have us in hysterics but I'm not repeating because im to embarrassed haha x

Those of you who bum pinch or grope in public, do you ever get the wrong person? Once, in the video shop I sidled up to DH and pinched his bum, but it wasn't him And to make it worse, DH watched me do this from the other side of the shop, in horror!

We also had a ritual when we went swimming, we had to race each other to get changed and in the pool, last one in is a "custard". On our honeymoon, I beat DH into the pool in the very naice hotel, I then saw him appear from the changing room and called over to him "YOU'RE A CUSTARD". Unfortunately it wasn't DH but as I and the not-a-custard stranger were the only people in the pool, it was really embarrasing.

We play a furtive groping game in supermarkets. A bit like tit cricket, he is in the lead with a crotch grope in Waitrose!
For some long forgotten reason, we often ask each other "Mit käse?" (with cheese?) The only accepted answer is "Ja ja! Mit Käse!"
Neither of us speak German.
My boobs are called lefty and right, they make honking noises.
Whenever my DP is naked, he will do muscle man poses (despite his belly. ) I gasp and grab at him like I can't help myself.
We have a future dog called Branston. We tell each other all about the adventures of Branston.
We have a sucky fish kiss and a secret handshake that is really long and impractical. It's to identify each other if we get cloned.

When DD was a toddler she read the words on DH's Calvin Klein boxers as Chucklevision - so CKs are always Chucklevision pants. Which explains why DH has just done a mad dance getting dressed for work singing the Chucklevision theme tune with gusto (with me joining in the song, of course).

Just remembered another few!

If DH is walking up the stairs and I happen to be behind him, I will propel him up the stairs with my head on his butt.

Neither of us can say 'around the outside' without saying it three times, like the Eminem song that starts with the lyrics, "two trailer park girls go round the outside..."

If we ever happen to hear the theme song from Friends (can't remember who sang it...was it The Rembrandts?) then we have to drop whatever we are doing to clap along to the clappy bit

If one of us is trying to attract the attention of the other from across a distance, we'll re-enact the scene from Alan Partridge when he's in a car park and shouting "Dan!" at ever increasing volume.

If we are both in a room together, we'll sometimes pretend that there's no room at all and have to squeeze past one another really tightly!

Also, bum bongoes are currency. So if I want him to do something he doesn't want to (go to the shop for me, let me squeeze a spot) I'll offer him the bum bongoes in return. He then gets to slap my arse cheeks in the manner of a bongo player for a minute.

We think we're hilarious (me, mum and sister). Tellingly, no-one else in the world feels the same.

Generally not between me and DH although my mum, sister and i have a whole raft.

For example, If we see eccentric mad looking lady or man 'I didn't know your mother/father/sister was coming'. Definitely not one to try out on friends.

Maintaining staring eye contact when we do 'cheers' - it's rude not to make eye contact but somewhere along the line it became 'seven years of bad sex if you don't'. And we've spread it amongst our friends. So not exactly just between the two of us any more.

This thread is great! We also have loads of stupid nonsense going on over here. We have two dogs, one 6 year old and one 2 year old and a 6 month old baby. The running gag is that the youngest dog and the baby are texting each other all the time. The older dog is always telling them off for texting when they are in the same house. The texts are always pretty elaborate - well it amuses us!

DH and I race to popper/button the most poppers/buttons on the duvet cover when we are putting the clean sheets back on the bed. Whilst stuffing the duvet in, we both start grinning like loons in anticipation of the upcoming 'competition' and proceed to giggle madly whilst poppering. When DH is away with work and I've changed the sheets on my own, I'll do the poppers up and then text him to tell him "my win" (a kiddism of our children from when they used to say "my" instead of "I"). He then sends me a cross face smiley. This has been going on for almost 16 years now

God, this sounds so silly!

We also have a few phrases and things that we say to each other. I can't possible divulge what they are!

magimedi and honeydragon DP and I have the pinch punch first day of the month competition too. I ALWAYS won until DD was born last year, and now I am so exhausted and distracted that he gets me every bloody month!

When we sneeze we like to come up with as many 'ch' words as possible ie/ A-chicken! A-chips! A-cheese!

We spot nuns on holiday..points for each one .I can't remember how this started.We occasionally
Priest spot too.Got very excited in Rome by a pin up calendar of young good looking priests(I kid you not)Fully dressed of course(or wouldn't have known they were priest) Have never seen a nun calendar though
When approaching DH I sometimes mumur in his ear 'Havent I seen you onTV' (he used to be a journalist and a couple of times many moons ago he did appear on TV)Makes him
laugh every time

In our house, if someone starts a sentence with 'do you know...' it's a race for the response 'no, but if you hum it, I'll play it'. We were waiting for partner to finish his dinner once and he exaggeratedly cut his last piece of food into tinier pieces until the children were hysterical. They still ask him to do it.

I've thought of another one, an annual ritual ..... the first day of the year that DP wears shorts I have to say to him "ooh, come here a minute DP, you have some bits of cotton hanging from the bottom of your shorts....oops, my mistakes, it's actually your legs"

He's just come over behind me, read 'Chat' here and is all 'look at you with your funny chat site being chatted up by hunks in trunks' then walked away with his shorts under his arse.