The cute --weird-- rituals/jokes you do with your DP...

Loads. They usually involve bad 1980s and 90's song lyrics. Example:

"Have you got your keys, ChrisQuean?" Cue a joint rendition of "I've got the KEY. I've got the SECRET"

No one one can mention Rio Ferdinand without us singing in unison "His name is Rio and he plays for Engerrrland. Oh Rio Rio Rio, Rio Ferdinand" to the tune of a certain Duran Duran song.

We play our copyright The Airport Spotting Game when we fly away on holiday.

Every. Single. Time.

We have loads too lots of singing ones & lots of rapping ones to Snoop, BIG and stuff from when we were young like rap along changing the lyrics to fit to the Fresh Prince tune or salt n pepa etc.

We make up songs about the cats too their names pre-fixed by Mr/Mrs respectively to different top 40 toons "Mr Snuffles, Mr Snuffles he's the snuffliest snuffler that ever there was" etc.

We made up our own secret handshake and spent ages practising it at night and weekends. Also talk in various different accents and have many pet names for each other.

Sound like a aright pair of fannies but it brings us great joy

If something exciting happens we say to each other in a deep US accent

'This is a high five moment'

If it's something bad we say

'This is not a high five moment'

Reading it back makes it look very uncool!

HoneyDragon - We still do pinch & punch, DH & I in the morning & to adult DS via email as he lives abroad! Have to get up really early, or go to bed v late, to get him!

Some of these are hilarious!

We have a song for each day of the weekend - so Friday morning he'll always wake me up by singing the god awful Rebecca Black song, Saturday is obvs Elton John, Sunday is U2, which then goes into an Alan Partridge skit about the Irish potato famine.

We often do a 'weelay' where one person needs a wee, then passes the baton to the next person who needs a wee.

I bite his arm every morning when I get out of bed

I grab his ankles every time he tries to walk upstairs and hang on til I get to the top

We can hold almost entire conversations based on a type of communication that sounds very similar to Minions talking

Every time I point out a woman with a massive pair of knockers "christ look at the size of them" he'll sigh and say "oh ok, if I have to"

I'm sure there's more....

None with dh...
If any of the dcs burp loudly I will pointedly ask "more tea, vicar?"

Me and DH have a ridiculously complicated saying good night ritual. If we yawn in the middle we have to start again.
We have a couple of sayings from radio ads from years ago. One involving using a Welsh accent about puffins.
Me and DD2 have our own club. It involves us talking to each other in really bad Eastern European accents .

We talk to each other via the medium of the cat. Consequently she swears a lot.

DH flicks his pecs, i try to mess with him and tickle him. He then yells 'Don't mess with my process!'.

Ninja boob. ( . )

I was dancing round the bedroom in my undies singing 'hush little baby' in a silly way and doing the twist

God, we have loads.

My full name can sound quite "trailer trash" (sorry) when spoken in an American accent... which leads us to hold full blown conversations/fake arguments in southern US voices a LOT.

"CLETUS! You gon' done that whole bottle o'moonshine in the barn agaaaain?!! Yo mama won't be best pleased you skipped church!"
"Yeeeah? Well yo mama looks like that there fat hairy pig" etc x1000

Oh. "Your Mum" jokes too.

Plus, whenever one of makes a funny innuendo or semi pervy remark, this is referred to as a Toby. Due to me texting him something deliberately pervy alongside this picture..... Now "Tobys" have to be accompanied by a creepy photo of Toby Maguire. Google surprisingly has lots of results for that search!

So bloody childish.

Ooo, loads, when agreeing with each other we say "as do I O'Neill" or "I concur O'Neill" (stargate reference). We can write entire e mails using just the first letter of each word and we both understand it perfectly. Anything we are looking forward to is "tiggerworthy" and we have a "tiggerdown" which involves counting the days, hours and minutes to said event. We also make up songs about how fierce our lovely placid dog is, and how many innocent meter readers/postmen/bin men he's eaten this week.

Those are the more sensible ones.

auntybrenda that is so hilarious!! Made me laugh lots!!

We regularly converse in Denglish.

We have facial expressions accompanied by complicated finger gestures for things, like 'get me some wine'.

If we are crossing fingers we have to cross them, then touch crossed fingers and make an electric buzzing sound at the same time, in fact we all have to do this (all four in my family)

We send the most sweary texts we can in the day to amuse eachother.

If we ask eachother to do something instead of saying 'please' we say something that rhymes with it, so 'sneeze?' Or 'John Cleese?' Or my personal fave 'cottage cheese?'

We have to look pointedly at each other to do a cheers in the pub/at dinner etc, again, all four of us have to do this, it takes a while.....

...are so arse-clenchingly ghastly that they will remain a secret.

Apart from passer-by thumbs up. On occasions Mr Turnip thinks it is good sport, when he is the passenger in the car, to give a furious and demented display of alternating thumbs up to innocent bystanders, kids on nearby buses and occupiers of benches.

It will come back to bite him on the arse one day, when we hit an unexpected hiatus in the traffic flow and are unable to make good our escape. I foresee pavement drubbings or worse. My warnings have gone unheeded.

These are brilliant. We do this thing where whoever uses the bathroom first before bed then pretends to be asleep in bed. When the other one comes in from the bathroom the fake sleeper pretends to have been awoken by them and shouts..."How looong have I been shleeeeep?" in a funny voice. It cracks me up every time but reading it now doesn't do it justice.

We also sing the crimewatch theme tune in harmony. Dh conducts.

We also shout Tiiiirrrrroooonnnnn!!! Every time we see Tyrone on coronation Street.

On the first of every month it is a brutal war as to who gets in pinch punch first. Via stealth, sneakily waking at midnight and running around the house making pincher movements after your target.

My mother, who forgives our weirdness usually phones later in the day to find out who won.

Loads here too. We have taken to saying "Alan, we're on the patio" if someone farts. We saw it on Baddiel and Skinner. It didn't make sense then and it still doesn't but that's why we like it. We also challenge any potential fib with Jimmy Hill. For instance, if DP has been to the pub and says he only has one I say "yes, and the barman was Jimmy Hill". There are lots of other things but we would just look odd

Love 23-19!! We say "ooh he has gone to Brown Town" - might have to steal 23-19