The cute --weird-- rituals/jokes you do with your DP...

We sing 'floppy weiners' to the tune of Game of Thrones, 'floppy weiners floppy weiners floppy weiners, nice and soft, not erreeectttt' (south park)

dp told me that if we are ever out with friends or just out and about but we are not within earshot of each other, if I ever look at him and he runs his fingers over his eyebrows then that means he is telling me he loves me.

he tries to get me to pull his finger before each fart. I never do. he loves the challenge of trying to make me do it

dp has told the dc that he can communicate with the dog. so if we ever suspect them of lying then dp consults the dog...often they fess up before the dog confirms the truth

When DP opens curtains, he often throws them open with "Good morning city!" as in the Lego Movie. It always makes me smile.

Whoever opens the curtains and lets in the light must do so by singing "Arsene Wenger, he's a wanker" in the style of the intro to the lion kings circle of life.

We sneak in movie lines into boring family conversations with relatives.

DH works with a guy called Adrian. His name MUST be said in Rocky style Aaaadrrrriiiiiaaaaaaaaan.

Love these, please keep them coming.

DH and I talk about ourselves in third person in a Geordie accent in the style of the Big Brother voice over man "day 32 and DH is making tea".

DH makes a little stuffed penguin talk and gives him the voice of a gangster rapper who says highly inappropriate things, especially if I am getting changed.

When we are out shopping we talk in Saarf Lundon accents and call each other 'babe' a lot "ere babe do we need pasta, babe?" "Yeah, babe pasta babe." Then we will create a pretend argument which usually ends with "frack off then babe" in a Danny Dyer type way.

We like to combine 2 words into 1, so if you're using your phone whilst on the toilet you are probably having a poo Google so a poogle.

If we say a woman with big boobs we will alert the other to look by exclaiming "Jesus!"

Many more ridiculous things that make us laugh.

We buy each other Lego, and build it together. We don't really play with it, though; just look at it. He got me a Lego bride and groom for our first anniversary cake!

We have a little blackboard which we use to write lovey messages to each other. It took a long time to find coloured chalk!

We blindfold each other a lot. I was kept in the dark for a good while before he proposed to me. I always confiscate his sight while he hunts for Easter eggs, and while I make his birthday cake. We have a rule that the penalty for being a back-seat driver is to have your eyes covered.

Wrapping the presents is a big thing at Christmas - I like to be blindfolded and in the room while he wraps my presents, telling him I expect to be in the dark for a long time, so I hope he's got me lots of stuff. He takes photos of me holding them before they are wrapped. I get irritable if I find he wrapped a present for me without me there! (When he did that once, I thanked him for the present by putting him in time out for half an hour - blindfolded of course. )

After having sex, I often tell him off and smack his bottom for being so filthy!

using imdb to solve every argument ever.
playing "guess how old they are" about random celebrities when drinking, and using the above to score.

So funny reading that...laughed so much

DH and i have quiet a few. Whenever one of us needs the toilet we over cut each other and stay on the loo for as long as possible. We pretended to be apes and run up the stairs on all fours.

Heyheyhey, I'm V jealous of your mating ritual. I get his impression of the little old cross eyed man who chatted me up at work.

heyheyhey I am howling at your last paragraph there

I'm croling at these. I've shaken the bed giggling and woken DH up

We do loads...we sing everything to the tune of Music Man, Adventure Time, Robin Hood Robin Hood, I'm a Lumberjack, or Puff the Magic Dragon.

We talk through the cats ALL the time. They also sing the above songs.

We press little 'tunes' or patterns into each other and the other person has to do it back.

I call him my Band and he calls me his Wiff.

If I see DH's bits I twirl my imaginary moustache and go 'Bonjour le peen' and if he sees mine he shouts 'GUTENTAG DER VAG' and salutes.

Yellow car - cheese on wheels.

And recently dp has been mentioning you can see a certain castle from various places we've been so now I say "can you see xx castle from here?"

We were at a park with dd 2 the other day and an older couple sat on the bench next to us and one of them said "you can see xx castle from here" I nearly imploded with laughter. Fortunately I was lying on the bench with my head on his lap so he shoved his hand over my mouth and muttered "stop it" through his mirth.

Jesus, don't know what happened there. Damn app

As I was saying, we sing the words "sprechen sie Deutsch" to the theme of emmerdale.
We say random words randomly and try to get them stuck in each other heads. These are brain worms. Current one: hoobastank.
YY to fingerbum, using film/TV quotes in daily activities, and waving various body parts at each other at inappropriate moments (usually when MIL phones)

Every time we go food shopping dp goes up the cat food isle saying 'oh we're out of cat food again'

We have never had a cat - he has done it every shop since we've lived together

*sing the game of throne theme

This is such a cool thread!

We have a few things :)

• when we want to go home from somewhere, we say a spell from an MMO we used to play and do the arm movements.
• DP makes up stories for a bear he bought me, his name is bear bear and lives in a bear world with Bad robot, the gruffle, a stuffed goat called NoobGoat and a highland cow called MooMoo.
• Continuing the bear theme, when ever we say the world bear we have to make a bear sign at our mouth
• Whatever we watch we pick something out that we notice all the time, for example in 24 we both shout DAMMIT like Jack Bauer, or dry like Gordon Ramsay in hells kitchen.
• we sign the game of thrones theme "Game of, game of throooones, game of thrones" to the tune
• we rock, paper, scissor most things.
• we try as many ways as we can to ask the other for a tea, like saying "what's those things you put golf balls on? If the other says "a tee?" The person who asks goes "aww yes please!"
• We also do the "your mum" or "so does your mum" thing.
• Our relationship is one huge innuendo, in your endo!

DH and I are laughing at all these, glad we aren't the only weirdos!

We sing the words en.bab.la/dictionary/german-english/sprechen-sie-deutschEmmer

We have loads too:

• we have a race to see who can fasten the buttons on the duvet cover quickest when we're changing the bed, no words are exchanged, we just try speed up and up and whoever wins rolls eyes and complains about the other one's laziness.
• we used to say 'thank you tonight' instead of just thanks, which is what I misheard Mario saying when you successfully complete a level on the mario game (it's actually 'thank you so nice' or something?!). This has been going on for YEARS and is now shortened to 'tonight'.
• I try and suck the moles on his neck which we call 'rice crispies'
• we have a huge key ring that has a very unflattering photo of my now beautiful niece when she was a baby which we sneak into each other's pockets/laptop bags/suitcases etc etc to be hopefully found at in opportune moments in front of work colleagues.

There are loads more but we already sound like oddballs!

This is hilarious! And reassuring to know other people are just as weird
We do the fingerbum thing, especially if one of us is following the other upstairs. We also do the hug as someone mentioned up thread- hug the other person and don't let go, even if that involves following them from room to room. Actually, part of that ritual also involves kissing the other person on the cheek and saying 'I'm a growth, you can't get rid of me now' and seeing how long you can keep your face pressed up against the other ones face
We have two cats that talk- one's a sweary Cockney and the other a gentle Scottish accent. We use them to insult each other.
We also have pretend arguments in public, usually ending with one of us saying loudly 'you're always lying to me, you say you love me and you don't' before flouncing off.
I love the idea of having alter egos and made up stories when people ask how you met- must try that

Re Alan Partridge again - EVERY TIME Dh gets us both a choc mousse from the fridge he says "two chocolate mousses!" broad Geordie style a la Michael from the first series

You know that bit right at the end of The Simpsons where the woman goes "ssh" and there's a little jingle, every.single.time without fail Dh sings along: "Rubber dinghy horsey dongy doo" mainly for the benefit of our dd but it's become normal now so she doesn't laugh anymore - we watch The Simpsons a lot in this house. He physically can't stop himself from doing it now, and in different word variations

If anybody says they couldn't eat another thing, the urge to press them to take a is overwhelming.

Weelay! Please put it in classics.

I do this with MYSELF And the cat, obvs. Loads of them stem from childhood, from XH1 who spoke almost entirely in catchphrases, and then from various places I've worked. My store of daftness is ever fuller. If I were stupid enough to start another relationship, I'd need an extremely patient partner!

Including, but by no means limited to: "Don't be RIDICLUBUS!" "Morre cheeeese, Louiiiiise?" even though I don't eat cheese and telling myself "Oh, I am silly! Watam-A-laike? A seelee beelee!" The cat gets that one, too.

Whenever I hear the name Brian or Robson, I have to exclaim "Bryan Robson!" in a very loud Geordie accent. The ridiclubus baloney goes on and on ...

When preparing or eating fish - or giving some to the cat - this song is compulsory:

My neighbours must be quite worried.

oh. i just remembered. a friend made me a sock monkey and it's a bit scary looking. so now the Haunted Monkey is randomly hidden in order to terrify the other.

and yes, the cats. his cat (for some reason known to me as the Ginger Prince) is secretly a KGB agent. Agent Pinotski (his name is Peanut) records our conversations and sends them along the Cat Underground Railroad to headquarters. my cat is nominally involved as either a courier or a grass - we're not sure yet.

i shared on a thread like this a while ago about saying awful things to each other in a broad West Country accent to prove that nothing said in a comedy Zomerzet accent can be frightening. i do worry about us sometimes.

oh, and a hearty shout of 'NOT THAT DRAWER, LYNN!' always goes down well when opening kitchen cupboards to look for snacks.