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What's your best sporn story?

337 replies

Ouchbloodyouch · 10/02/2015 23:34

How excited do you get when you see KLAXON? Sometimes you get a few in a week.. sometimes there is a drought! So in order to keep us sporners truly satisfied can we do our ultimate ultimate sporn stories? I've just shared my blackhead story on another thread (TAAT guilt) but this is my best..if it looks familiar its because I have posted it under a different name.
Many years ago I became aware of a very sharp pain on my left side. Between the hip and the buttock. Upon examination there wasn't much to be seen other than something that looked like a teeny pimple. I pierced the top with a sterile needle and nothing happened. Owing to the position of the 'pimple' I had to grab my flesh to bring it to a better viewing position.. well.. as I did that the pressure I applied caused a jet of pus to spew three feet across the room. In an arc! I've never seen the like. After evacuating the pimple I took a hot bath and tried again. Lo and behold it happened again to a lesser extent.
That was it. The best half hour of my life. I've never had anything like it since.
Over to you. .

OP posts:
LaundryFairy · 12/02/2015 11:11

I grew up on a dairy farm and one of the cows had an access on her udder that was massive. My father, clearly a lover of sporn, called me over during milking one morning to enthusiastically show me the white core that had come out when the access finally popped - it was the size of lemon!!

HowCanIMissYouIfYouWontGoAway · 12/02/2015 11:02

What you need to do is give us a corner of mn, or a cupboard we can be shut in. It could be called sit in here and stop bothering the rest of us, you revolting articles. Or something.

YetAnotherHelenMumsnet · 12/02/2015 10:51

Or we're mahoosive sporners who are being distracted from work by your 'We can haz puz' stories... Wink

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 12/02/2015 10:44

Those at MNHQ are obviously not sporners Grin

YetAnotherHelenMumsnet · 12/02/2015 10:32

Hi all!
Personal favour... could you please stop reporting this for Classics as it's making everyone in the office go 'yack, splaaargh, bleergh' etc when we take a look. We have the message, loud and clear. You don't want this R E V O L T I N G thread to go. Gottit. Wink And yes we have seen the one with the black gloves. Grin

JollyFrog · 12/02/2015 10:16

Looks abit tame but the hard white 'thing' just kept on coming!

JollyFrog · 12/02/2015 10:15

Omg frank thats amazing (probably not the right word!) But omg!!

ouch Grin I will go halves! Iv now just erupted a hard white spot on my face (think im going rotten!)
photo to follow

VixxFace · 12/02/2015 09:59

Has anyone watched a woman squeeze a mans 20 year old spot on YouTube? She's wearing black gloves. A bit of sick actually came up in my mouth!!!

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 12/02/2015 09:46

Omg, that's like a pus fountain. Cant believe they all missed that.

FrankelandFilly · 12/02/2015 09:40

My full story was posted last night, but it's basically the pus that came out of my boob when a breast abcess (that no health care "professional" had detected, despite my insistence that something was wrong) erupted in the shower.

Roobix04 · 12/02/2015 09:38

So jealous of the verruca strip! I have a big cluster on my foot that just won't shift. If it ever starts to come out it will have its own thread!

surpriseitsme · 12/02/2015 09:16

I had one lump under my tongue a few years ago it hurt like buggery. Trip to doctors and a course of antibiotics later it was still growing untilI couldn't speak properly. Got hold of it between thumb and forefinger and squeezed when I couldn't bare it any more. It was the slowest most painful thing ever what I can only describe as like a bone shard surrounded by pus and blood. Very impressed with it I kept it for ages and showed anyone who visited!

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 12/02/2015 09:09

Frank, I have to know, what is it?

SheWhoDaresGins · 12/02/2015 09:09

Frankle that is impressive!

sashh · 12/02/2015 09:06

Oh I forgot my Ganglion cyst.

I asked my Dr to drain it, he refused because, 'it will only come back', if it's causing you pain I can send you for an op but if it isn't then it's purely cosmetic'.

So I threatened to do it myself.

He supplied me with syringes, swabs and instructions.

Unfortunately it hasn't come back.

FrankelandFilly · 12/02/2015 09:04

I did warn you! The Dr I showed it to at A&E raised an eyebrow and said it was "impressive".

sashh · 12/02/2015 09:03

I think I may have to set up a dating site for sporners and greasers. I bet some of you would pay me to set you up with someone with a greasy back full of zits.

My first true sporn - I had a zit and for some reason in the middle of the night I was bitten/stung by a mossie or something, it ended up in a fabulous pus filled swelling in my eyebrow.

I wasn't even squeezing, just examining in a mirror and it popped and hit the said mirror - fabulous.

Ouchbloodyouch · 12/02/2015 09:01

Frank Envy thats a vom face. I thought I was hardcore

OP posts:
Ouchbloodyouch · 12/02/2015 09:00

Jolly I've put the fanjo shot on fanjosrus.com I've made thousands!

OP posts:
DandyMott · 12/02/2015 08:55

I feel like I'm at home on this thread!

I squeezed a verruca out once. It was like a huge stern blackhead and took lots of patience to get it all out.

I felt and heard the crunch with a boob spot recently it was good!

CatThiefKeith · 12/02/2015 08:50

ShockShockShock
Frankie that's amazing!

HellKitty · 12/02/2015 08:28

Gah!!! Can't see photos on the app Confused

A girl in my old school had a face full of green dried pus filled spots. She refused to squeeze any of them. Weirdo.

MamaLazarou · 12/02/2015 08:20

RumbelowSale - it's the Earol +. Aculife Earwax Removal Syringe Kit from Amazon. No mirror, I'm afraid.

Fugghetaboutit · 12/02/2015 08:11

Oh my god!!!

Pimpleminds · 12/02/2015 08:10

Ye gods Frank