What's your best sporn story?

dubdurbs - thank you for your awesome testimonials!

I had a sore bit under my tongue, it got to the point where I couldn't eat or drink because it was that sore. After lots of poking prodding and squeezing at it(tears rolling down my face from the pain and drool hanging from my chin after having had my mouth open for so long) eventually a hard piece of white tooth shaped something or other came out of the salivary gland, followed by oozing, hot, green puss. I nearly fainted with the relief of it! I also had what I reckon was a bartholins cyst a few years back. Gave it a good poking with a sterilsed needle and after much squeezing, it popped and hit the door, oh my god, the speed of it! It splattered and took a good scrubbing to get it out of the woodwork!

I had a dog once that used to get spots on her muzzle, teenage acne really, she was really good at letting me pop them, lots of green yucky stuff-she was so grateful afterwards! Her litter mate used to get what I could only describe as oily blackheads on her belly, and once had an infected nipple. I plucked out a hard plug from it that was the shape of a grain of rice, but the size of a large grape and then spent 15 wonderful minutes pushing out the stinky green slime that had been hiding behind it.She snored the whole time and only woke up when I stood up :D

DP love's for me to give his back a good seeing to, usually just as he's getting into bed, and when I'm tired and don't want to move. Because I love him so very much,I deny myself a few precious moments of sleep and have a dig at all his spots and blackheads. he aso has old peircings that fill with cheese, and a wonderful tubular shaped hole under one armthat fills every so often with this strange, rubbery sort of white stuff, it's a joy!! He also had an amazing large whitehead on his chest, while we liived overseas. He wasn't going to let me at it becauseit was so sore, so I took grreat pleasure in telling him that it could be a botfly larva(we lived in a region reknowned for them!) and showed him several gruesome youtube video's of larva removal. He dug it out himself, and I was so disappointed, I had been looking forward to him caving and allowing me to rummage around. He's got a big scar on his chest ther now because he was so cack handed, serves him right! :(

I may have a sporning problem.....

I didn't know this was a thing! I had a sore on my knicker line, sat on the bed with tissues to tackle it. Well it did pop, the blood shot up, missed my head but hit the ceiling! Months later my dh enquired about the (now) black spot on the ceiling, i just shrugged my shoulders, its still there and makes me chuckle all the time.

It's filled with the Millenium Dome isn't it?

Has anyone seen the Eastenders advert with the bendy bit of the Thames?

It looks like the space a boil would fill to me :).

Argh! In related ewwwww topics, I've just discovered that I'm missing a programme on parasites (with Dr Mike Mosley) on BBC4! Half way through already!

Telling DH about this and he's agreed to let me loose on his 3cm diameter sebaceous cyst.

Yipeeeee.

He's had t 13 years.

I have a ganglion , but thinking not

Growing up I thought my mum was ODD because of her sporn-love...and then, when I was 19, my BF at the time took his ear piercings out. Oh. The wormy loveliness. 13 lots of wormy loveliness that all refilled at different rates.

Since then, there's nothing nicer than a mirror-splatterer or a blackhead that comes out like a worm with a face, or that feeling where a fanjo spot has just going B-DOING and is ready for a squeezing.

Unfortunately, DH is not into sporn and won't let me attack him very often. BFF (who I shared a flat with for 10+ years) is, though, so sometimes I have to go and visit her and "play monkey" (and be reciprocated...for as much as I like squeezing other people, I love to be squeezed myself)

i have to suction secretions occasionally as part of my job

Swoon

This isn't so much sporn as spawn of the devil - thought some of you might enjoy it!

aplus.com/a/ear-bug-guy-disgusting

I have a number of sebaceous cysts on my head. About 10 years ago, I developed a spot right on top of one that was on the top of my head. I was trying to squeeze and could only do so if I squeezed the cyst, so I did.

After about half a hour it burst, with a series of crunchy noises that reverberated through my skull. There was a lot of white smelly pus and clear pus following that I tried to soak off with tissues. There was also a weird noise like a squeezed rubber ball inflating as air entered the sac of the cyst.

It was awesome. It would slowly refill for a few weeks and I regularly squeezed out clear pus, but then it cleared up. Quite irritating as cysts aren't meant to if the sac isn't removed.
I've popped a few large boils, like most in armpit or groin, but nothing was as good as that was.

Thank you for the thread!

A fine reward, HellKitty.
I'm only allowed a squeeze on DH on high days and holidays.

EXP however... When I first met him in the naked way I noticed that he had a smattering of big slightly raised freckles on his chest. But oh NO freckles they were not.

They were all untouched years-old blackheads and giddy with love he agreed to let me have a squeeze.

My GOD The joy when the biggest one slid out the width and length of a Crayola crayon. Fucking unbelievable.

The joy of being the first to discover them - I felt like Captain Cook

DP had a hypo last night, after saving him with lucozade I asked to squeeze this small blackhead/pimple on his chest as a reward. I got a full index finger nail's worth of cream cheese. Lovely. I thanked him.

I know.

I've been checking it hopefully all morning but the bastard looks like it's just going to heal.

HowCan [awe]

i have to suction secretions occasionally as part of my job. I'm secretly quite disappointed when they are plain white and clean. A nice gob of yellow or green stuff, that's the business.

I'll admit the fantasy I go off to sleep to is not Fifty Shades of Grey but Fifty Shades of Grey Blackheads: My Day As a Dermatology Nurse.

I had a bad quinsy when I was 16. Taken to A&E when it started affecting my breathing and I'd barely eaten for days. They lanced it with a fuck off massive needle but instead of being drawn up into the syringe the thing was so full it just exploded in my throat. I was coughing up thick pus and blood. Had it been on the outside of my body I'm sure I would have enjoyed the whole experience more as I am a huge sporner. Coughing up the vile, stinking stuff is less enjoyable unfortunately

I think this thread had a physical effect on me.

Last night I noticed what appeared to be a large blackhead on my boob.

I gave it a flick - it was solid. I squeezed and it slipped out. A black headed white bodied maggot of a blackhead

But that wasn't all.

There was a lump.

I squeezed.

It popped.

pus and blood in a sort of granulated liquid.

But that wasn't all.

There was still a lump.

I squeezed.

HUGE pop and this, this thing popped out, still attached. I got my tweezers and pulled and it was a long thin piece of tissue.

It has left two holes. TWO!!

I was at a friends once pissed and had been transfixed by a blackhead on her otherwise perfect cheek. Eventually I whispered that it was there. She said quick get it. It just slid out, hard, black and yellow, just as our other friends came into the room. They were all very jealous.

Thanks for the thread OP. It has made me very happy, apart from the bits where I discovered my sporny limits. < boakface

I'm afraid I don't have anything spectacular to add, but I did find two lovely new blackheads on my chin the other day. I inspect very often, so didn't expect anything as satisfyingly well developed . I am very much a fan of the hard, waxy type, rather than the splatters, although if they're mine I love them all.

Also, as a sideline, I very much enjoy it when the eyelash/fibre which has been irritating my eye finally turns up attached to a little blob of eye-bogey.

DH has cystic acne. And he lets me loose on them. Lovely! Particularly satisfying white worm type this evening, which responded well to a "pumping" action.

I realise this sounds like a sex joke, but honest, it's not.

Um, about now for me Fish. I have a stress induced sty and it's agony. Sporn karma

At what stage does all this cease being joyous and just be horrible, though? I remember a next door neighbour who apparently had such a bad, chronic abscess on his coccyx, his spine was visible. That's just bad IMO.

Oscar - show us a pic and we'll be better able to advise you.