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Original poster

What's your best sporn story?

337 replies

Ouchbloodyouch · 10/02/2015 23:34

How excited do you get when you see KLAXON? Sometimes you get a few in a week.. sometimes there is a drought! So in order to keep us sporners truly satisfied can we do our ultimate ultimate sporn stories? I've just shared my blackhead story on another thread (TAAT guilt) but this is my best..if it looks familiar its because I have posted it under a different name.
Many years ago I became aware of a very sharp pain on my left side. Between the hip and the buttock. Upon examination there wasn't much to be seen other than something that looked like a teeny pimple. I pierced the top with a sterile needle and nothing happened. Owing to the position of the 'pimple' I had to grab my flesh to bring it to a better viewing position.. well.. as I did that the pressure I applied caused a jet of pus to spew three feet across the room. In an arc! I've never seen the like. After evacuating the pimple I took a hot bath and tried again. Lo and behold it happened again to a lesser extent.
That was it. The best half hour of my life. I've never had anything like it since.
Over to you. .

OP posts:
EBearhug · 11/02/2015 00:27

Have you considered divorce, HowCanIMissYou?

I have early memories of my mother squeezing my father's back; he'd once fallen into a thorn bush when he was in Africa, and apparently for some reason, that was responsible for the good harvest.

My last boyfriend had hydrathing supprativa, but he kept being all sensible and not letting me near him. Sometimes, his armpits got so bad that just raising his arm was enough to produce a stream of pus. every now and then, medics got to drain the abscesses and abrade and pack the cavity. The golf-ball sized one that meant he couldn't put his arm by his side must have been fun for them.

(That's not actually why he's ex, though. Despite the fact he never got them to film them draining it.)

Tobyjugg · 11/02/2015 00:23

Did some D-I-Y using an old screwdriver. Got a callous on my palm and a flake of paint off the screwdriver's handle must have got into it. Hand swelled up, painful and red. A couple of days later, after washing hands in hot water, I flexed my hand, and the next thing I know I have a handful of pus. About a dessert spoon full. Hand went back to normal size and colour almost at once.

Icimoi · 11/02/2015 00:22

The ones in and around your ears. You can feel them going from all sides, and you hear the popping so clearly.

Marmitelover55 · 11/02/2015 00:13

I remember sitting on the beach in my cossie one summer. I noticed a largish lump in my groin area and felt quite excited Smile Anyway, I proceeded to squeeze and the mist monumental amount of white yucky stuff cams squirting out. I kept squeezing discretely and it kept on coming and coming. I couldn't believe how much was in there. Hopefully no one realised what I was up to. The smell of it was pretty foul too but lovely....

DrEllieSattler · 11/02/2015 00:08

My stupid DP won't let me play with home either HowCanIMiss Angry

I had a beautiful moment in the bath. A large lump on my labia majora... It was a hard marble lump, you know the sort. Combination of the hot bath, the fiddling and the fiddling... I got behind it and I HEARD the pop from under the water. 'Twas beautiful.

It hasn't come back Sad

AlleyCat11 · 11/02/2015 00:00

I have keratosis pilaris. I remember the very first time I squeezed one. Sitting in the sunshine in Regents Park, aged 25, I noticed a white lump on my arm. So I squeezed it. Well, the satisfaction! It was the beginning of a long campaign of destroying the skin on my arms. I used to wear vests all the time but I was soon limited to long sleeve tops. I've had some corkers, but I've more or less broken the habit now. However, I can't resist if I see a good one poking out under my skin...

HowCanIMissYouIfYouWontGoAway · 10/02/2015 23:57

My husband has lots of bobbly bits on the back of his thighs.

In 16 years of marriage he has NEVER let me near them.

Leave them alone, he says. They go away if you leave them alone, he says.

It's enough to make me kill him and carry out the procedure post mortem weep.

BiscuitsofYum · 10/02/2015 23:55

I love a good sporn.. My dp thinks I'm weird so I feel at home when I see threads like this!

My fave sporn is one of dps back.. It looks like a pimple and when you squeeze it... It goes on and on for ages! Oh its heaven! And the best bit is it fills up every few months!

The best ones I have is the ones that make the audio pop. There's always a sense of relief when hearing the sound!

HowCanIMissYouIfYouWontGoAway · 10/02/2015 23:51

which one? The youtube one or the one I throttled in the shower? Grin

Original poster
Ouchbloodyouch · 10/02/2015 23:49

Howcan I need more detail on that Wink

OP posts:
Original poster
Ouchbloodyouch · 10/02/2015 23:48

Then there are those ones that go 'pffft' when you least expect it. I had a huge one on my forehead that went when I was driving (by a quick touch) I didn't even get to examine the content as I was on the M4..

OP posts:
HowCanIMissYouIfYouWontGoAway · 10/02/2015 23:38

I am hardcore. My favourite one was a youtube clip that involved rubber gloves, a retching man and a lump the size of a mango.

I have it bookmarked.

I suppose one could argue that this makes me a little odd but I can live with that :D

My own personal best has to be the one that went pop pffft in the shower after some hot water and, well, basically having the life throttled out of it.