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Best Mantras To Keep You Hanging On When Things Are Shit

266 replies

PacificDogwood · 13/11/2014 21:18

I am supporting a RL friend through some shitty times - no real end in sight Sad

She said the exact same thing I recently saw posted by a battle-experienced, wise MNer Thanks:
"Keep putting one foot in front of the other, and keep breathing in and out."

Pace yourself.
Be kind to yourself and look after yourself.
This too shall pass I may have used that one rather a lot in my own head
Que sera, sera.
Let it go.
You cannot change somebody else's behaviour; you can only change your response to it.

I am sure there are many more.

They are all quite trite truisms, but not any less true for all that.

Please add your own - anything at all that kept you hanging on when times were tough and no light at the end of the tunnel was forthcoming.

And I do hope you did come out the other side and don't need your own mantras anymore.
Thanks

OP posts:
darkness · 15/11/2014 14:33

"Fear not the future, weep not for the past."
Shelley

"Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment."
Buddha

or
more succinctly
Here and now.
a thing I often need to remind myself of. May have been said already though.

Blackduck · 15/11/2014 14:30

If you are going through hell keep on going.

JugglingFromHereToThere · 15/11/2014 14:23

"When writing the story of your life don't let anyone else hold the pen"

That's a good and interesting one blueemerald

NessaYork · 15/11/2014 14:16

Self Portrait - by David Whyte

It doesn’t interest me if there is one God
or many gods.

I want to know if you belong or feel abandoned.

If you know despair or can see it in others.

I want to know
if you are prepared to live in the world

with its harsh need
to change you.

If you can look back
with firm eyes

saying this is where I stand.

I want to know
if you know
how to melt into that fierce heat of living

falling toward
the center of your longing.

I want to know
if you are willing
to live, day by day, with the consequence of love

and the bitter
unwanted passion of your sure defeat.

I have been told, in that fierce embrace, even
the gods speak of God.

© David Whyte, from Fire In the Earth 1992

NessaYork · 15/11/2014 14:12

"When you're going through hell, keep going."

JugglingFromHereToThere · 15/11/2014 14:08

My DS showed me something like your one Peonies (on his tablet the other day) - he probably knows I've been worrying about stuff that can't be changed - a family bereavement

It was in the form of a flow chart with "Are you worrying about something that can be changed? .... Don't worry

Are you worrying about something that can't be changed? ... Don't worry

He is fab! When I'm counting my blessings he's high on the list Smile
Just turned 13 BTW

Merguez · 15/11/2014 14:00

I haven't read the thread so this may have been said already.

My mantra when things are tough is very simple, and comes from Finding Nemo.

It is : "Just keep swimming…"

RudeBarbandCustard · 15/11/2014 13:19

I like the quotes on how to handle life like a dog. Like these ones:

Never stop enjoying life. Dogs always look for the good in the new day; they wake up with a wagging tail and an eagerness to greet the day's events. So can you.

Another one I've just found is this:

How to Handle Stress like a Dog:
If you can't eat it, or play with it - then pee on it and walk away.

PeoniesforMissAnnersley · 15/11/2014 12:58

I saw a post card saying something like this (but better) a while ago...

Worrying is useless: if it can be changed, then do something about it. If it can't be changed, why worry?

I'm very ill right now and realising all my trivial worries and concerns from healthly life were just that - trivial. Can't wait to get well so I can embrace my lovely life, fab job and caring, kind DH with open arms!

RudeBarbandCustard · 15/11/2014 12:45

I'm a terrible worrier, and have wasted many hours and many tears worrying about stuff that hasn't come to pass.

My ever wise DH always says "Don't worry about stuff that hasn't happened yet. Worry about that when it happens, and it might never happen, so don't waste your time!"

He's so right.

Another one from him is that you can't change what anyone else thinks or does, you can only change yourself and how you deal with it. That has helped me a lot.

RudeBarbandCustard · 15/11/2014 12:41

I find a good loud singalong to Gloria Gaynor 'I Am What I Am' to be wonderful therapy.

Lyrics:

"I Am What I Am"

I am what I am
I am my own special creation
So come take a look
Give me the hook or the ovation

It's my world that I want to have a little pride in
My world and it's not a place I have to hide in
Life's not worth a dam
Till you can say, hey world, I am what I am

I am what I am
I don't want praise, I don't want pity
I bang my own drum
Some think it's noise, I think it's pretty

And so what if I love each feather and each bangle
Why not try to see things from a different angle
Your life is a sham
Till you can shout out loud, I am what I am

I am what I am
And what I am needs no excuses
I deal my own deck
Sometimes the ace, sometimes the deuces

There's one life and there's no return and no deposit
One life so it's time to open up your closet
Life's not worth a dam
Till you can say, hey world, I am what I am

HalleLouja · 15/11/2014 12:28

Feel the fear and do it anyway. Maybe not the best in her circumstances but when something scares me I find it helps.

andsmileitschristmas · 15/11/2014 12:07

Corrected version

I'm sorry I can't think of anything to contribute that hasn't already been said. I hope your friend see the end in sight soon - whatever that maybe (from OP only)

Thanks to all those who have contributed - I'm quite aware that I am often glass is half full - always in rush to the next thing (even by the hour). So I have found many of these help me stay positive (to enjoy life a bit more) keep things in perspective (stops me worrying) and draw strength from when needed.

Some of them I found on MN originally. What a lovely thread.

andsmileitschristmas · 15/11/2014 12:04

Im sorry I cantthin of anything to contribute that hasnt already been said. I hope your friends finds her end in sight soon.

Thanks to all those who have - Im quite aware I can often be glass is half full - always in rush to the next thing (even by the hour) So I have found many of these to help me stay positive (to enjoy life a bit more) keep things in perspective (stops me worrying) and draw strength from when needed.

Some of them I found on MN originally. What a lovely thread.

blueemerald · 15/11/2014 11:57

Caring about what people think of you is pointless. Most people don't even know what they think of themselves.

When writing the story of your life, don't let anyone else hold the pen.

Failure is a bruise, not a tattoo.

Get up, dress up, show up but never give up.

Never hope for it more than you work for it.

Whatever your past you have a spotless future.

RedLentil · 15/11/2014 11:47

'Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life' from Psalm 23.

My son has had a lot to deal with lately, and the Invictus line about being 'master of my fate' and 'captain of my soul' has helped a lot.

Also, the idea that he hasn't got to hold on to or make sense of every emotion he's felt. He can simply feel some of those big emotions and worries, acknowledge them, and let them pass by. The important ones that stick around are the ones that need attention.

Niklepic · 15/11/2014 11:45

"I've had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened" -Mark Twain

Rowboat · 15/11/2014 11:42

Posted too soon.
A lovely mixed one from a friend. "Let's burn that bridge when we come to it".

Kniternator · 15/11/2014 11:42

When we were going through some very tough times a few years ago, I kept telling myself 'It is the shittest it can be so it definitely has to get better'.

The one I tell my team at work when something goes slightly wrong to look at things in perspective 'no one died, and the problem can be solved'.

Rowboat · 15/11/2014 11:41

Love the "react with class" one.
I like to live by The Desiderata and Bear Hunt. "what a beautiful day, we're not scared"

When you hit rock bottom, the only way is up.

What's for you won't go by you.

And a particularly lovely one

whymummywhy · 15/11/2014 11:39

Today is the tomorrow I worried about yesterday and all is well....always helps even if all isn't well and useful for chronic worriers!

BeCool · 15/11/2014 11:30

not a mantra, but here is a link to a free online little book called "The Little Book of Contentment" (by Leo Babauta) which has some uplifting thoughts, ideas and actions in it I've found useful:

zenhabits.net/little-book/

PacificDogwood · 15/11/2014 11:03

Sparky, I agree we could all do with 'allowing' ourselves to feel whatever we're feeling. There are wider societal reasons for why feeling unhappy or grieving or angry or whatever are just less acceptable.

"Be still and know that I am God" and Desiderata and some Buddhist Mindfullness-type meditation all aim for the same thing: live in the moment, appreciate that moment for what it is and accept that not everything is under your control.

Wishing everybody a good weekend Smile

OP posts:
BsshBosh · 15/11/2014 10:31

Psalm 46:10 stops me in my tracks when going through stressful moments: "Be still and know that I am God". I recite it as a mantra and it not only calms me but brings me completely into the present moment.

stinkingbishop · 15/11/2014 10:21

sparky I think this is the nub of it really. Feelings are called that because they're physical. They're Nature's way of giving us a sign. Don't do that again. Or get through this quickly.

I think the other thing about feelings is we're very quick to acknowledge the transience of happy times, as in fleeting happiness or joy. We instinctively know it's a wonderful moment to cherish, but a moment is all it is. Maybe that moment is a minute, or maybe a month, but like clouds in the sky, they'll disperse at some point.

Well, it's exactly the same with the bad and the sad. Just like happy clouds, sad ones dissolve too.

And while you're waiting for them to, get your hair done and eat flapjacks.