Parents of older kids- looking back what was important and what wasn't?

Consistency and chores. Also encourage a sense of the ridiculous.

Mine are grown up, so I'm a long way past this - but I think that a perspective that would have really helped me when they were small, is that childhood is where you learn how to be a responsible and independent adult - and I, as the parent, am the guide and mentor. That means that mistakes, yours and theirs, are just another learning opportunity.

I also didn't 'sweat the small stuff'. Picking your battles is a clever strategy. Also, being able to admit when I had been wrong and also my own willingness to apologise.

I worried about ds1, he never seemed to sleep, he could escape from his cot before he was a year old, and took forever to get back to sleep. Now, you need dynamite to get him out of bed, and he can sleep for 12 hours. no problem.

Food, too..I was determined not to have fussy eaters, gave them lots of variety, made them eat at the table, try everything at least once. I have fussy eaters now though, and the youngest is 20.

That is beautiful Chottie and so true.

I would say don't sweat the small stuff, take that extra moment to enjoy a cobweb strung with dewdrops, splashing through a puddle, feeding the ducks, snuggling up an reading stories together. Those are the golden moments your DCs will remember.

I think just ensure that your DCs know they are truly loved and are secure.

My DCs are adults now and hand on heart, I really think bringing up children is harder nowadays.

Well first of all, OP, don't stress. You will never be the perfect parent as they don't exist, you can only do your best.

I think what I did best with my dd was talking. We always used to have long talks and she has developed very good critical faculties.

I taught her to see other people's points of view and to be inclusive, I'm proud to say and this has even stood her in good stead in her work where she tends to be a peace-maker.

On the down side, I let her make too many decisions from too early an age, which has made her tremendously bossy to this day. I'm a bit wishy-washy and indecisive, now I have to put up with being told what to do

I never did get the knack of getting her to help around the house either. I wish I had known how to, but nothing I ever said worked so I ended up giving up as I got fed up with the rows.

Important - starting chores early, encouraging varied diet, always having a zero tolerance physical fighting rule.

Not- fussy eating (seems to contradict above but can do both), getting dirty/ hurt, tantrums (I just don't get embarrassed in public anymore- they do grow out of it), bathing/hair wash if they hate it, sharing (it's overrated).

Well, my boy is seven now and one of those annoying boys that bothered me when he was a sweet little toddler :o

You know the type...too loud, too rough, burping constantly, etc. I used to look at those boys when DS was a little three year old cherub and think "ugh, their parents let them behave like that?!" But I think they're all like that; at least nothing I say or do seems to help!

So probably not exactly what you were asking, but it's something that struck me today! :)

Also not to sweat it as much with sleeping and potty training. I have a six year gap between DS and his little sister and I've realized I'm much more relaxed about those things because he eventually got there and I know she will too.