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Original poster

If you fart in the bath

217 replies

JazzAnnNonMouse · 20/08/2014 20:10

Are you washing in poo particles?
Grin

OP posts:
LemonMousse · 20/08/2014 23:48

Oh Weiner I know that feeling so well!

LemonMousse · 20/08/2014 23:47

Oh God YES Bogeyface Grin

I'd forgotten how much I love Dinner Ladies.

WienerDiva · 20/08/2014 23:35

Lemon you've reminded me of a trip to the cinema I had to once endure. I'd not been with now dh long (we were still both 16) and for some unknown reason that I can't remember and we went to see Castaway with my my fil in tow.

20 mins into the film I got "the urge". By yet end of the film my intestines were reverberating and it sounded like I had a didgeridoo in my digestive tract and my belly was rippling with what can now only be described as "reverse farts".

Fil asked me if I'd like to be excused to use the loo Blush

Freebirdy · 20/08/2014 23:30

I'm a bit scared about them going up there. You can't wipe back to front in case you get thrush so don't guff straight up there!

Bogeyface · 20/08/2014 23:27

lemon

Is this you?

11:00 to 11:20 :o

Stratter5 · 20/08/2014 23:21

If you're in the bath, does it make sulphuric acid? Confused

LemonMousse · 20/08/2014 23:20

I was with DH for 2 years (not living together) before I let one go in front of him. Two whole years I nipped those in while he farted freely and happily in front of me.

My Mam used to say she knew when I'd arrived home after he dropped me off as she could hear me farting my way down the path to the front door. I'd then carry on up the stairs - oh the blessed relief.

One day I accidently farted in front of him and that was it really - no looking back - initial embarrassment over and a green light to let rip thank God!

He did admit that he just assumed I was one of those people who never farts. I think after 24 years of it he now wishes I was Grin

WienerDiva · 20/08/2014 23:13

Bum sieve explains why David Beckham only wear a pair of pants once Grin

Bogeyface · 20/08/2014 23:08

If you ever see a girl scoffing beans while frantically rocking back and forth...

:o:o:o

I think you may have just invented a new porn category!

Bogeyface · 20/08/2014 23:07

Oh and the bum sieve... Isn't that what pants are for?

Dont say that! They go in the washer and contaminate everything else, the panickers will be burning their worn shreddies now :o

Re: Front Escaping Farts (FEF...which is onomatopoeic!)

Doesnt anyone else worry about them going "up there"? I suspect that may just be me.....

Freebirdy · 20/08/2014 23:01

Oh and the bum sieve... Isn't that what pants are for?

Freebirdy · 20/08/2014 23:00

Bogeyface, you're now my favourite mner. Hilarious.

I never ever laugh out loud but fart wanking just made me guffaw.

Memphisbelly · 20/08/2014 22:58

I didn't fart in front of dh for a long time, he used to say 'don't be shy, its natural' his are always very loud but never ever smell.....the first time I farted it smelt like a rubbish dump, he was polite, then I got bad wind and he asked if we could go to not farting in front of each other Grin

WienerDiva · 20/08/2014 22:48

As much as I love a good fart.

There's nothing worse than a bad one. Like the ones that smell of gone off milk Confused

Has anyone managed to work out why fart smells are more intense in a shower or bath? And yet not a swimming pool?

OooOooTheMonkey · 20/08/2014 22:44

Front escaping farts!!!! Dying with laughter here GrinGrinGrin

WienerDiva · 20/08/2014 22:40

I'm not sure I have ever laughed so much at a thread Grin

I LOVE a good fart. I HATE farts that slowly bubble round to the front, the tickle isn't pleasant Confused

googoodolly · 20/08/2014 22:35

So, I'm reading this in bed next to DP and, being the considerate person I am, am trying my hardest not to laugh so I don't wake him up. He just farted in his sleep, said "oopsy daisy!" rolled over and snored Grin

MaidOfStars · 20/08/2014 22:35

If you ever see a girl scoffing beans while frantically rocking back and forth...

Bogeyface · 20/08/2014 22:33

Or a Glade "plug in" perhaps?! :o

wildernessagogo · 20/08/2014 22:31

Thread is tickling my fart humour button enormously. First time ever I've laughed out loud at MN!! Such an intellectual, me!

Sparklingbrook · 20/08/2014 22:31

Tuck a Magic Tree in your pants Bogey. Grin

Bogeyface · 20/08/2014 22:30

I quite like front farts (aka the spirit level, mentioned earlier, because you can rock back and forth to make the bubble move). Feels odd but weirdly nice.

sometimes I make it go that way on purpose

WOAAAH!!!

I think Maid just invented the Fart Wank :o

Bogeyface · 20/08/2014 22:29

I would just like to know that if the occasion ever arose where my foof needed sniffing, it would be clean and pine fresh :o

MaidOfStars · 20/08/2014 22:28

I quite like front farts (aka the spirit level, mentioned earlier, because you can rock back and forth to make the bubble move). Feels odd but weirdly nice.

sometimes I make it go that way on purpose

Hurr1cane · 20/08/2014 22:23

"Bum smells on my foof" GrinGrinGrin

Why, who sniffs your foof?

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