HOT TITS!!

I am crying at Hot Crusty running

I have had to read this topic in chunks throughout the day, as I kept getting to the point where I couldn't breathe anymore from laughing so much, tears pouring down my face!

A child I work with recently pronounced that one of his classmates (who had just returned from being off sick), didn't have Germans anymore. It was completely out of context and it took us several minutes and laughing fits to figure out he meant his classmate didn't have germs anymore :-)

Our ds2 used to shout for big tits, then it changed to bitit, turns out he meant biscuit. All the emphasis on TIT naturally.

Slightly off topic but an earlier post reminded me. I have an Anglo spanish colleague called Carlos. Juan carlos to be exact.
His newly arrived in the uk mum used to call him Juan-car for short, but stopped pdq when a lady who heard her calling her toddler 'Juan-Car' in the park gentry explained it what it sounded like... and what THAT meant. Eek.

Ds3 (3) isn't a very clear talker at all.

He couldn't say biscuits for ages, but said big tits instead. He once had a tantrum in morrisons and shouted "I want big tits" over and over at the top of his voice.

He couldn't say sheep until very recently, and said bitch instead. We didn't teach him baa baa black sheep.

My current name is another of his pronunciations. He saw some toddler goggles for sale, and took a shine to some nice green ones. He can't say green, but says jean, he can't pronounce "g", but says "d". Little green goggles became little jean doddles.

He also says "oh my diddy aunt" instead of giddy aunt.

Wanky! Wanky, wanky, wanky!

DS is three and he can't pronounce 'L'.

I said I was lanky the other day and he spent the day saying 'wanky'.

For a very long time Dd3 could say Dd1 's name, but called dd2 "Veena". That is absolutely nothing like her name. After about 6 months, dd3 insisted on a different episode of Peppa by shouting "no Daddy, Veena one, Veena one".... The other one.

Basically for 6 months she refered to her sisters as Dd1 and "the other one"...

littleredinosaur my son used to say bitch and bitches for fish or fishes, could that be it?

Oh, she is also obsessed with seeing pictures of dogs chasing balls on the internet but just says 'dog balls'!

My 21 month old DD pronounces beach as 'bitch' which as we live very close to the beach and see it regularly can be slightly embarrassing when she suddenly announces 'Bitch!' at the top of her voice!

also the sucky thumb which became the "fucky sum "

My daughter was learning to rhyme at nursery. On leaving for the day, she saw her friend in the carpark and started to shout " Bunty Cunty" at the top of her voice. He shouted the same back, and this became a chorus of "cunty" very loudly - we tried not to respond and to just hurry to the cars without looking bothered :)

DD walking past a flower bed full of blue & pink flowers, telling me what colour they were:
"Piss, poo, piss, poo..."

My son aged about nine took his work home from school and they had to write about what they wanted to be when they grew up
Ds had written that he wanted to be a rapper and how much he loved rapping, unfortunately he had missed out one p in the words.....I still come over all funny when I think about it

My DD says Bitch when she means Beach.

I had taken my second baby, who was then something like 8 weeks old, to the local surgery for her first round of vaccinations. My eldest, then 3 years old, was with us too. On the way out afterwards I stopped at the reception desk to make the appointment for the next round.

In front of a waiting room packed with a lot of elderly people, my three year old piped up in that huge booming voice that young children can't seem to help using:

"MUMMY, HAS MY LITTLE SISTER GOT TO COME BACK AGAIN FOR SOME MORE ERECTIONS?"

She meant "injections" of course.

Another one. In the run up to one Christmas when eldest was just two and still our only child, she was helping me decorate the Christmas tree. She picked up some baubles and proudly told me:

"These are Father Christmas's balls."

I am sure there are more. Those are the ones that spring to mind.

Arggghhh !!
& wotsits !! Sorry on phone

*crisps !!!

Wondering if "hot tits" is the crips watsits ???

It was a long time ago, but if can remember do many if these with DD - she was an early talker too, which somehow made it worse as she could string a sentence together early & was fiercely independent - I still remember the day & cringe when she insisted on asking the waitress herself for cutlery

Cue tiny girl all ribbons, curls & cute smiles toddling over to the service area & exclaiming loudly to the waitress "get me forking knife please"

My Dd also had slight speech delay ,her favourite program as a child was Tots Tv, in almost every episode a song involving the magic bag " sac magique" was sung
We had a play date with a friend and her dd one morning as my dd started singing along to this song ,unfortunately it came out sounding more like
" suck ma-dick " "suck ma-dick"
My friend & I both snorted as we heard her and nearly choked on our tea !!

Ds 2 & half.. Is like a sponge for words & phrases.. Generally very funny & cute.. Ie; "mum" "yes babe" "farm foods get a 10 from Len" or current fave is "hotel.... Travago" but he also has a knack of hearing swear words once & remembering them..

On the bus last week.. Very loudly.. "Oh no mum it's pissing down"

& Saturday in the dry cleaners he sees an earwig & shouts "errrr bugger" unfortunately bug became bugger months ago & he's hung on to that.. Thank fully "for fucks sake" seems to have been replaced by "oh my goodness"... I swing between being surprised & proud of his vocab to very embarrassed by it!!

My ds used to call tea bags "bawbags"!