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Original poster

HOT TITS!!

308 replies

wantacatplease · 16/08/2014 18:44

...is something my 18 month old daughter has started exclaiming, quite loudly and gaily when we're out and about. Hmm

No idea what she's trying to say!

OP posts:
Becky2208 · 18/08/2014 12:23

When I was about 17 I took dn, then around 3, to see Santa at a department store. She told Santa she wanted a cockporn maker for Christmas. I was mortified. Turns out she wanted a popcorn maker.

Original poster
wantacatplease · 18/08/2014 12:18

I can just imagine visitors being asked "Do you want to hold our Nipples and Cock porn?" Ha!

OP posts:
Coffeethrowtrampbitch · 18/08/2014 12:17

My name is Louise and when she was young my niece couldn't say it properly so I became Auntie Williez!

It was a shame as her brother and cousin would tease her, she tried hard but just couldn't say it properly. She is 18 and can manage it now Smile.

jemjabella · 18/08/2014 12:15

We had two guinea pigs, Nibbles and Popcorn.

#1 loved to tell people about how we'd got "nipples and cock porn" ....

ImAlpharius · 18/08/2014 12:11

Some of these are brilliant.
We had piky porns instead of porcupines for a while.

mredh100 · 18/08/2014 12:09

My ds shouts 'are we going over the Big Corn Bridge?' He means the Runcorn Bridge, but his name is much better and cuter. So that's how it will be forever known.

hereshegoesagain · 18/08/2014 12:03

oh yes, as recently as yesterday....
we went to this farm where they have a piglets race twice a day.
we were going through the gate when my 3 yr old shouted " Mummy, Daddy, where are the racist pigs?"

idleweiss · 18/08/2014 12:02

My 2yr old loves singing the song 'Boogie Fever' by the Sylvers from Despicable Me..unfortunately it sounds like she is saying 'Boobie Feeler!!' Lol! :)

Original poster
wantacatplease · 18/08/2014 12:00

aermingers Shock Grin

OP posts:
Merlioness · 18/08/2014 11:57

My DS (33 months) keeps shouting catp*ss across restaurants. He means "ketchup"

Fairywhitebear · 18/08/2014 11:53

We get cock for clock. Big cock!!

aermingers · 18/08/2014 11:45

I play a game with my little boy where as we walk down the road we say the colour of each car. So red, green, white, black, blue etc and he points out each car. We live up north in a not very diverse area.

We went to visit some friends in Dalston which is a predominantly Afro-Caribbean/African area.

We were walking down a very busy road there next to the market where there just happened to be an awful lot of black cars parked. So he's sat in his pram merrily going 'black, black, black, black' and pointing and I've got people with their jaws dropping because they think I've bought the toddler wing of Combat 18 to Dalston.

My God, I wished the ground could have swallowed me whole.

StrawberryMouse · 18/08/2014 11:32

One day in the park my son came running towards me shouting "Mummy, Mummy, look at my dick!"

Few surprised heads turned to see him waving a large stick.

BlueBrightBlue · 18/08/2014 11:29

Daughter, then aged 7 asked me if her earrings made her look like a lesbian ( she had no idea what it meant).

Flutterly · 18/08/2014 10:21

My little one's (23 months) fave word at the moment is parcel, only he can't say the letter 'p' so it sounds like he's saying arsehole! Apparently he went running to the door when the postman came shouting 'arsehole, arsehole!'

PinkSquash · 18/08/2014 10:17

DS2 likes wiggling his bum shouting 'wiggle waggle' although he shouts WIG WANKER.

Original poster
wantacatplease · 18/08/2014 09:57

I should also admit that my DS used to say "fucking troller" when playing with his Thomas trains. Of course he was trying to say "Fat Controller."

OP posts:
Original poster
wantacatplease · 18/08/2014 07:42

Crying at "let's play hide and seek you cunt." Grin

OP posts:
306235388 · 18/08/2014 00:16

Dd shouts 'let's play hide and seek you cunt' I've tried teaching her to say 'I'll hide' instead but no, of course that is not ok. She's pretty bossy too so it comes across as if she's saying it in context. Tbh I just raise my eyebrows and smile at horrified onlookers now.

flanjabelle · 17/08/2014 23:22

I cannot wait for dd to be at this stage. These are hilarious!

OnIlkelyMoorBahtat · 17/08/2014 23:12

'On titty and be odd!' is a superb phrase - I might adopt it as my own!

Morrigu · 17/08/2014 20:49

Fork was fuck for a while here so 'fork and spoon' came out like 'fucking spoon'. Was extremely funny until we went out to lunch at a nice restaurant.

LindyHemming · 17/08/2014 20:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cakedays · 17/08/2014 02:35

DD has taken to exclaiming "BUM BUM BUM!" very loudly in public at every opportunity. It wouldn't be that unusual except for the fact that DH has a strange prudish dislike of the word and makes us all say "bottom" on pain of death (he was brought up by a rather prim grandmother who thought the word "bum" was unspeakably vulgar and desperately common, so he visibly cringes whenever he hears it). It's poetic justice for him that DD enjoys saying it so much Grin

TiffanyToothache · 16/08/2014 23:39

Euphemia Beebosh in this house was brioche!

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