To ask for your best examples of brass-neckedness to entertain us all on this dull day?

I think Misssss from the blocking-car-in thread is going to be along in a minute.

Last week at a park in Cheltenham.

Me, DH and our 2 dc sitting on a bench - I go over to the cafe to order some sandwiches and when I get back there's a small boy eating an ice cream on the end of the bench where I had been sitting.

No problem with that, obviously I don't own/can't bagsy the bench.

But when I return to sit down with our food and get the whole of my family to scooch over so I can sit down mother of small boy carries on standing there while her toddler takes up probably 25% of the bench - he could easily have shifted over by 10 inches or so and I would absolutely have asked my DC to move over in such a situation.

She, however, says nothing so there's toddler on one half of the bench and then four of us on the other half of it attempting to eat our lunch!

I suppose I could have asked her to move him up a bit but she was so odd I didn't fancy and encounter with her.

I once asked my (child free) sister to babysit for me. She told me that she couldn't, because it was Christmas party season and she didn't know what might come up. She was living with us, rent-free at the time

I started reading this thinking well it may not seem like a good excuse but really she doesn't need to look after your kids..oh wait. No.

I once asked my (child free) sister to babysit for me. She told me that she couldn't, because it was Christmas party season and she didn't know what might come up. She was living with us, rent-free at the time.

When I was about 13, a girl asked me if she could borrow my brand new trainers while we were away on camp. I stupidly said yes. On the last day, she wore them home on the coach after insisting that she had packed her other shoes. I was a little uneasy but she insisted she would give them back to me at our next club meeting. I never saw her or my trainers again I was stuck wearing my old pair with holes for months as my mum couldn't afford to buy another new pair.

Sadly not, she was grey..skin, hair, teeth, overall.....

Haha, that's exactly what I thought too Legion!

How she was allowed to make a launderette smell so smoky I'll never know

Did she look like this by any chance Wally ?

No it was more like something from Stig of the Dump!

How she was allowed to make a launderette smell so smoky I'll never know - the owners were probably scared of her also.

Me too Legion. In my mind it was brown leather with a winged back.

Our ndn, aged 17, was doing his own landscaping business. We used to pay him a tenner to cut our grass every fortnight. We had a double ladder platform that he asked to borrow for doing some hedges. No problem. Then asked again so dh offered to sell it to him for £100, much less than we paid and had hardly been used. He was going to save up but I said why not just have it but do our grass for the rest of the summer ie 20weeks to pay for the platform. 2 cuts later over the course of 8 weeks, and knowing he was busy, I said to his dad that if he was too busy we'd just have the platform back.

Came back that afternoon to find the platform lying in our front garden where anyone could have taken it. Ten minutes later up turns ndn demanding to know what's going on, reckoning he'd done the grass 8 times and shouting culminating in calling me a cunt! Said he would have to see dh, who I called to come home cos I was furious. Dh goes round to see him where he's offered on to the grass (for a fight), called names, threatens to get his dad on us and says there'll be repercussions! A 17yo boy! Even wanted paying for the couple of cuts he had done!

We actually saw his father before he did, explained what had happened and he laughed it off saying he had a short fuse and was probably taking drugs! Nice

I'm a bit disappointed by your correction WallyBantersJunkBox I rather liked the idea of this old lady sitting in a manly armchair

"I used to have a school friend who accepted endless lifts off my Mum but whose parents never, even once, gave me a lift."

Worried this is me and this is what they really thought.

Though my (at the time probably best) friend knew what my parents were like (not very pleasant or caring characters) I spent a lot of time at his house, and often late, and often accepted lifts home. Wondering now if perhaps I shouldn't have. My parents didn't give me lifts anywhere either, though.

Not a manly armchair - manky!

There was a very well known character who worked in the launderette in Crystal Palace in the 90's.

I was waiting for my new washing machine to arrive in my flat, and had gotten rid of my old one. So on the Saturday afternoon in between I took my washing up to this particular launderette.

Loaded machine and sat down to wait. Old lady comes out of back room, and gives me a piece of paper. It had a list of things she needed buying.

I must have been faced, because she said, "well what are you going to do, just sit there and watch your washing? I can't leave the property so you'll have to do it for me!"

It was the most bizarre list - filter things you put on the end of a cigarette, corn pads etc.

Funny thing was, I walked into the pharmacy still with face and list, and the assistant said - "shopping for X at the launderette?"

Got back with the shopping and she hadn't even unloaded my washing, and didn't even say thank you for the shopping! Just sat on some manly armchair out the back puffing her fag and knitting.

One Christmas, years ago, we were at the in-laws. SIL hands out presents which are CD's for everyone.

There are a few surprised faces at her choices given that they are nothing like anything the recipient would listen to but everyone politely smiled and said thanks.

SIL announces 'oh I wasn't sure if you'd like them. I bought a load of stuff I wanted, taped it and then the shop who wouldn't let me return them so I thought they would do as Christmas presents for everyone'.

So thoughtful.

helpmesolveaproblem that's shocking! I really would report her.

I had a rather entitled lodger. The w/e she moved out, a friend of hers came to help her. The idea was that they'd load the car with her stuff & then drive together from London to Cumbria to spend a few days at her parents where she was dumping her stuff. Except the car was too full so lodger told friend to get the train & meet her up there. This after the friend had slaved all w/e helping her pack & clean.

Can I have an animal one?

We are supposed to be feeding the neighbour's cats. One of them has been missing for the past three days, so I've done the rounds of asking other neighbours, phoning all the local vets etc... and the blighter has just strolled home with a smirk and what looks like half a lamb chop in his jaws.

Humph.

My ndn grows fruit and veg in his garden. He is a policeman and there are CCTV cameras trained on his drive and garden.
His produce remains untouched :-D

Oh thought of another. MIL invited her pal down for a few nights, they visited us. Her pal went into our kitchen and started helping herself to our vodka and ice from our freezer. I think I'm more annoyed about the ice... The vodka was on top of our fridge but I found it really initiative going into someone's freezer.
I didn't say anything as I didn't want to upset MIL!

As a first year uni student a flare mate moved her 32 year old boyfriend in after two weeks. He was only staying for two weeks.... He stayed the entire year, our bills were still split four ways not five so effectively we were paying for him to stay.
Apparently I was totally unreasonable being angry about this and rude for asking for his share of the bills. The guy was an utter twat that didn't work but sponged off his girlfriend and us. Oh but he did play the didgeridoo into the early hours!!

I had a very strained relationship with MIL, who used to belittle me and put me down a lot. We invited her and FIL round for a BBQ when DS was a very small baby and I was sleep deprived. We spent the day cleaning the house, doing the garden, making everything look absolutely perfect. I made chicken kebabs (on skewers) and steaks and put loads of effort into the food and wine.

When they arrived, oddly she went and sat at the very far end of the garden instead of on the patio near the house and demanded to my DH that I bring her a glass of wine. He said that perhaps she could go and collect it from the kitchen as I was so busy with DS and brining the food out etc and he was lighting the BBQ. She shouted out that she was insulted by that, as SHE was the guest and I could do with the exercise anyway, get some of my fat off!

I was obviously quite upset by this and went upstairs and burst into tears. I composed myself and was only gone 5 minutes and about to go downstairs again but heard PIL move through our house and out of the front door and get in their car. (DH had ticked his mother off and she had decided they were unwelcome).

Still upstairs I heard MIL come back inside and go to the kitchen. She took 2 plates, loaded 2 raw steaks and 2 raw chicken skewers on them with some salad, picked up a bottle of wine and walked off back to the car!!

I've never really been able to fathom that one.

Our wedding was held in a venue which is about an hours drive from where my family live. On the morning of the wedding, whilst I was getting my hair done, my cousin who was giving a reading text me to tell me that she wouldn't be able to make it (her DP was also invited) because she had work the next day. My cousin can drive and has a car.