To ask for your best examples of brass-neckedness to entertain us all on this dull day?

Aged 16, back from boarding school for a week, so called best friend made excuses not to see me all week.

She then turned up randomly at 11pm one night with a boy/man I had never met, asking for him to stay over 'as her parents would get angry if they found he was staying at hers'. Well I'm not an effing b&b, and I'm sure my parents wouldn't be pleased either.

At least I did say no. I came to my senses a few years later and ended the friendship and am so happy I did.

Some of these are unreal...how do people get to be like this??
Here's mine....years ago when I was flat sharing my flatmates friend came to stay for a few nights. I knew her as well, so it was fine...until!!! one morning I went into the bathroom and she had left a recently removed tampon in the bathroom bin. It was an open bin, quite clearly not for leaving such things.. now it was all smeared with her period blood...eeewwwoooh. When I pulled her up about it she was unphased..'Oh well at home the maid deals with it'
Well lady there aint no freaking maid here...get rid of it!!!
yuck

I was waiting in an airport for a family holiday when I was a kid (teenager). It was busy with few seats, but there was an empty seat next to a businessman who was stood up talking enthusiastically with his colleague. I slid past him and sat down in the empty seat so as to not disturbe him to which he breaks of his conversation mid sentence and says "excuse me that's my seat" (it was empty and he was happily standing). I turned to the next seat which was piled high with his things (laptop case, briefcase etc.) and asked "oh, is anyone sitting there". So as not to lose face he then moves his things into the floor but insists on me moving, keeping an empty seat for him to stand next to.

Brassneckedness as a blast from the past! My Mum did a Tupperware party in the 1970's and a lady arrived and put her old anorak over a chair in the kitchen. We all went in the sitting room. Her dog was currently in season and our randy old sheepdog was thus attracted to her coat and chewed a big hole in it while romping on it. My Mum was mortified when she found it and immediately offered to buy another anorak for the lady. She said she could not wait until the morning and demanded to choose one of my Mum's coats. She picked a cashmere coat worth ten times the price of the anorak and walked out in a really good mood, saying she had had a lovely time. Whenever we see a photo of our old dog, someone brings up this memory!

Can I just say... This is the best thread on the internet. Possibly ever.
Very good.. carry on!

At uni halls of residence we had a laundry room with washers and tumble dryers that took tokens you bought from the accommodations officer.

I was sitting in the laundry room with my clothes going round and round in the dryer, using my £2.50 worth of token when a lad walks in, opens the door to the dryer, removes my washing and dumps it on the floor to put his in (to use the rest of my bought time).

I looked at him over my book and he asked me if I could keep an eye on his stuff in the dryer while he was away. He clearly thought I like to just hang out in the laundry room.

I'm not known for being assertive but I blinked at him and said: that stuff in the dryer was mine. I'd say you owe me a token.

He didn't pay up but he did mumble 'sorry' and put my stuff back into the dryer.

Travelling alone with small dc, one a baby desperate to bf, v busy and important bloke on suit shoved in front of me at the virgin checkin " I'm in a hurry, don't mind do you?"

Virgin checkin girl drops my passports and smiles at self important fuckwit.

Clearly he was saving the world. I didn't say anything as the dc were there and also I was busy congratulating myself I wasn't married to him. And yes, he did checkin whilst on his mobile. Idiot.

Woman on plane takes one look at me sitting behind her with said children and called for the steward to complain about the children as she had a v important meeting and planned to sleep on the flight to be " fresh" steward looks bemused as my dc are a) practically asleep b) clearly no trouble . He didn't move her to upper class as she wanted. She told him she would report him to his superiors for bad customer service!!!

Under a year, not user..

I had a friend who had 6 kids aged from 10 to user a year. She wanted to go away for a week with her DH, minus the kids. She had found someone to look after the baby, but wanted me took after the rest of them. This would have involved me moving into her house and taking a week's annual leave so I could attend to her kids. She was both astonishedad upset when I said I wasn't going to do it.

Not even a quarter of the way down, but I've nominated this for classics!

I was manning a sports facility (voluntary job, strictly limited to taking subs and hiring kit) when two teenage spectators let off a firework. I asked them leave and they did.

15 minutes later, their mum comes in and starts screaming blue murder. Apparently we were a creche for her enormous thugs and what did she pay her fees for? And how dare I raise an eyebrow at her? She'll have me sacked, she'll report me for child neglect, her husband is a magistrate...it goes on and on and on.

So I nodded a bit, as you do. The kids had come back, looking as if they wanted the earth to swallow them. When she wound down, I leaned forward and sniffed. "Get a taxi home, madam. Get some help. Now, would you mind fucking somewhere that's off? Thank you".

A woman I know is one of these 'pushy stage mum' types. She has two daughters, both if whom have been pushed to sing and dance from a young age.
The eldest is just about to start stage school only the mum doesn't have the cash to find the glittering lifestyle she likes to portray so, her solution to this £3k a term problem is to host an evening of song and dance.
She's hired a venue and for a £10 fee you can come and watch her pfb prance about. From what I can see on Facebook the only takers thus far are a few odd family members who really have no choice.

Ohh I've got another one...when I was late 20s and a mature student I joined a childcare/babysitting agency. I did a first aid for children course, got disclosed etc and was working with primary aged children. I'd just been accepted on the books when I got my first and only job - a call at 8 am - could I go and look after a 4 yo from 9am - 1pm? The woman had been let down by her normal childcare, she was desperate. I phoned the mother to say I was coming and she said she needed to get her older DC to school...so 8.40am would be best. It was a 30 min drive away and I had to find it so I said I would do my best. I got there just before 8.45 - she stroppily told me I was too late - she'd got someone else to take her DC to school. She showed me a snack for the DC, suntan lotion etc and left at 9am. She hadn't shown me any toys or tea/coffee for me. Anyway I got on fine - DC spent some time outside and then we did some drawing/painting.
Mother returned at 1.15pm. I told her what we been up to etc - she then asked me what my qualifications were - said ahh you only get the baby sitting rate (£1.50 an hour less than I was expecting). So from 9am to 1pm (what ??? 8.45am to by then 1.25pm!!!) so that will be (eg) £11.50 - she only had £12 -did I have the 50p change? She stood there while I coppered up to give her all the change I had - 46p! She seemed to think I should give her a £1 back but no bloody way!
I never worked for that agency again - I was so angry! What I got paid hardly covered my petrol...I should have been more assertive -but they should have told me the rate of pay properly before so I could stick to my guns and also whether I should charge for time she was showing me where things were etc (and I think she tried to pay them a lower fee too!!!!)

What is it about the working from home/constantly available childcare paradigm? I've got two corking recent examples of flamin' cheek:

1. Family member informs me by Facebook message that she has, "on impulse", booked a week away for her and her DH during the first week of the summer holidays, and would DS and I move into their house for that week to look after the DCs? If I can't, they can stay with their grandparents, but they'd really rather not.

I respond that that's just a normal working week for me, and although I'd be happy to have the kids for the weekend bit, it very much looks like they'll be staying with their grandparents.

2. DB's GF of 6 months has decided to move to our town to be closer to my DB (currently lives about 50 mins away). Has acquired new house & job and new school for her DS (12). Said school happens to be ten mins' walk from my house. New job turns out to involve three late nights a week, so she won't be back until 8 or 9. Is it OK if her DS makes his way to my house after school (which finishes at 2.30, for heaven's sake!) three afternoons a week and waits there until she can collect him? He definitely won't disturb me and he's not fussy, so he'll eat whatever I give him for dinner. And of course, she'll pay me.

I respond that although I would be happy for her to put me down as an emergency contact with the school, that arrangement doesn't work for me (thanks, MN!).

DP has just related a story he remembers Bob Dylan telling about a cheeky fucker of a neighbour he thought he'd got wise to: "Will you be using your golf clubs this afternoon?" asks the neighbour. "Yes actually, I will be", replies Dylan. "Great, so you won't mind if I borrow your lawnmower!"

An ex friend dropped hints she wanted to be a bridesmaid and then godmother and I gave in on both occasions and asked her. A few years later she got married and did not even invite us to her wedding and wondered why I was a bit upset! Another friend had a husband who was very environmentalky friendly and did not approve of my daughter's disposable nappies. One visit, I had the nightmare of her doing an exploding nappy while there and once I had wrapped it in a nappy bag, my friend passed ut to her husband to go and put in the dustbin. Or so she thought! On arriving home, I discovered that he had deposited it in my new leather bag that I had left in their hallway!! Two bottles of febreze later, the smell was still there!

A friend of a friend was looking at her neighbour's daughter's wedding photos when she noticed that the ones of the bride and her parents taken before the wedding were taken in HER garden. She was at the church waiting for the ceremony to begin. Apparently her garden was nicer than theirs!!

Not me but my sister and her friend were asked by another friend to hire a van for him and drive him and his stuff back down to London after Uni as he doesn't drive. For some reason they agreed thinking a trip to London might be fun. They helped him load up his stuff and drove down arriving in London at about midnight at his parent's multi million pound townhouse.

After helping carry all his stuff in he basically says "nice knowing you" and shuts the door in their face. The twat left two young female skint students in the street after midnight in London.

They slept in the van and then drive home paying for the petrol for the way back. Funnily enough they never spoke to him again!!

My 'friend' used to ask bully friends to host Body Shop parties.

I agreed to host one to sell the overpriced- shit high quality goods and she expected me to deliver the orders she got!

At uni I had a most unpleasant pair of housemates (the rest were nice).

One of them (went to Harrow School, called himself'Bruv') asked to borrow my alarm clock one morning. I said sorry, but no, as I needed it to wake me at 7 (long before mobile phone alarms). He pondered this for a moment (as the cogs of his not too speedy brain thudded around), before saying (honestly, word for word) "You's gettin' up at 7. I's gettin' up at 5 for a flight. Therefore my need is greater, so the alarm clock is mine." I still said no, and the cheeky git waited till I was asleep before sneaking into my room and taking it anyway, causing me to over sleep.

As he was waiting for me to fall asleep, he ate a load of other people's food (he never, ever bought food) and left messy plates/cups/packaging all over the lounge. We put it in his immaculate bedroom for him to sort out after his weekend away. He was furious about this upon his return, as apparently we'd been disrespectful.

It was years ago and it still pisses me off. What. A. Twat.

This thread has had me howling and cringing aaaaaalllll day! Will done OP!