We've had films and television programmes - now it is time to customise MN into a different beast altogether.

May I start by offering:

Am I being unseasonable? - Bah humbug. Christmas haters sign in here.

General Wealth - A place better-off contributors to post about how brilliant it is to be fecking loaded. Boasting not even remotely stealthy. Share your woes about having to run two homes; how blimming hot it is in the Maldives and how tricky it is to drive a gigantic black shiny car around Bayswater.

Good Lousekeeping - Not everyone hates nits. Share tips on how to make them breed faster and infest as many heads as possible.

Mite Stuff - Similar to Good Lousekeeping, but smaller.

Flounder's Corner - A place to discuss sea-floor issues, including how bloody stupid it looks when both eyes are on one side of your head.

I may have tried this one already. Can't remember. I am old so you'll just have to put with it, I'm afraid.