Really inappropriate funeral thread

At a friend's funeral someone had brought his satnav in, as the crem was notorious for cars being broken into. Just as his DS got up to do the eulogy a disembodied voice announced "you have reached your destination".

The poor boy choked out "Dad would have loved that" and sat down in floods.

When my nan died my ds1 was 8, they were very close and shared the same birthday. He insisted he wanted to go to the funeral and came in the limousine with us. He was so excited when it pulled up heannounced to everyone 'this is the best day of my life'. I spent all day crying one minute, laughing the next.
Also at my fathers funeral my sister let out a huge snort when the vicar started a speech about my dad beginning, 'the life of Brian'......

My Dad once turned up at the wrong funeral - think he was late so he slipped in at the back and it was only afterwards he realised he didn't recognise anyone. Thing is he's a bit of a biker and was dressed in full leathers etc (which wouldn't have mattered at all to the friends whose relative's funeral he was supposed to be at) whereas everyone else was very smart and formal. We often wonder what on earth they must have thought and how many people were asking each other who the 70-odd year old biker in the corner was!

At my grandma's funeral the priest suddenly announced that I was going to read a reading-out loud, in front of everyone, without even knowing about it. I got back from the lecturn to my dad saying ' I'm so sorry'.'

The priest was Vietnamese (in Northern England) and kept referring to me and my sisters but using male names-'and her grand daughters Liam and Lawrence.'

We then had to go down the motorway (at 40 mph) as we were going to be late for the crem.
No one over took us as a mark of respect so we caused absolute gridlock.
We were behind the hurse crying with laughter at the whole thing.

I did once turn up a week early for a funeral. Didn't recognise anyone in the car park. Luckily there was a list of services pinned on the chapels door so unlike Galaxy's colleague I didn't go in!!

My Grandma had "Magic Moments" played at her funeral. The priest said it was definitely a first.

I was at a funeral with my dad once, stood quietly at the back as the crem was packed. Just as the curtains started closing my dad got a text, that was bad enough but his text tone was a little voice saying "help, help, I can't get out" -- thankfully the family saw the funny side but my dad was mortified!

At a great uncle's funeral in the crem chapel, the ... well, I don't remember if he was some sort of clergyman or crematorium staff - anyway, it started with an announcement, "Please be aware we've had some issues recently with the automatic mechanism on the curtains recently, so please don't worry if they start opening or closing unexpectedly."

I was a bit disappointed that they worked exactly as expected all through the funeral.

I drove all the way from the midlands to Edinburgh for my aunts funeral. My mum told me the wrong crematorium.

We popped into two funerals at two different crems that day. Neither of which were my aunts. We completely missed her funeral as never found the right crem. Mde the wake though.

At my great grans funeral the vicar was saying that she met a man in the navy who then died in the war and then she went on to meet my great grandad who was also in the navy and do you know when your mouth opens before you think? Well I had that and piped up with "oh she liked her seamen then" me, mum and stepdad got the worst giggles ever and my aunt shot me the evil eyes

My Dad's friend had always look on the bright side of life played at his funeral ! Made everyone smile.

A pall bearer's (relation!) phone going off.
And as we drove away from a very tense and sad wake we backed into a pillar crunching our newish car rather badly. We giggled all the way home.

At a recent catholic funeral DH was a pall bearer and got holy water in the eye when the priest was doing the entrance to the church bit / flicking water. When the smoke bit came a friend caught it caught in her throat and started choking - loudly.

I finished the day by slipping off walk way in the graveyard and nearly into someone's grave, squinting DH grabbed my arm just in time.

'Twas a jolly good wake after that.

And, no, there was no bogof.

We buried my friend to Freebird by Lynyrd Skynyrd. The cassette (ok it was a long time ago) ran on a bit into some really lively rock'n'roll song! The deceased would have appreciated it but it was a bit of a shock for the mourners.

LilRed

Nowaysis

Not at mine but at a funeral

I met my DP at mine... We're still together nearly 9 years later

Black humour gets people through a lot. When Mum died two weeks after Dad, I asked the funeral director if they had a BOGOF offer.

My neighbour's walk out of service song was 'rainy day women' by Bob Dylan.

In no way a mistake but it made us all smile.

Galaxy:
She tried to scramble out but she was anorexic and quite weak so she needed pulling. She was even more hysterical afterwards, poor girl.
It was pitiful. I always wished I had been able to jump out and grab her back in time

At mums funeral , we first had a church service , then off to the crematorium about 20 miles away .
Dad , me , my sister and aunt all went in the limo thing behind the hearse .
DH and my BIL went by car . They dropped the children at a friends house and sped down the dual carriage way to catch us up

Except we had been driven at a sedate pace the scenic route .
So when they got there they didnt recognise anyone and thought they'd missed it .
But then we turned up so it all went ok

Except halfway through DH thought he'd left his phone on ( he hadn't ) and it was the old Dom Joly ring tone from his comedy show .

insanity that is brilliant. Weeping with laughter here