My ex, despite being below average by all sexual markers, used to always give me an hours notice to 'prepare myself' for him. Did he think I was doing some special fanny stretches or something?
It would always take him ages to get it up (so really he should have been using the prep time, not me) and when we got going it was so pathetic I used to get visions of myself having sex with a sleepy golden hamster. It always ended the same way, him feebly punching the pillow next to my head and muttering 'No. No. No.' as in 'No, I will not come yet.' Not what I wanted to hear quite frankly. I'm certain he had a totally different idea of our sex life than the reality.
He loved to boast that he only had sex with his ex once 'Because she said if we did that again she'd DIE!' Followed by a satisfied nose snort. I really doubt she meant it in the way he thought! He broke up with her because he found a photo of her ex, a Hells Angel, and kept her up all night shouting at her that she'd knowingly put him in mortal danger by once going out with this man.
Once we stayed at my parents house and as we walked down the stairs he reached behind him and 'tickled' my crotch, complete with loud tickling noises. My brothers were at the bottom of the stairs looking up at us, and I know he did it deliberately. He also had a thing about wanting me to act 'seductively' with him while sharing a sofa with my Dad. And he complained that I must be looking for sexual attention from male family members if I didn't have my hair in a ponytail when I went round. He had REAL issues. Actually he told me an ex of his used to imply he had a thing for his daughter, so I kind of hope he decided to pass that vileness on to another family, rather than the alternative...
There was also an anecdote about how he once had to 'half-rape' a girl but that makes me too queasy.
The cringiness wasn't limited to our sex life either. He loved to talk about private things very very loudly in public, and would threaten to get the opinion of the 'man on the street', literally any random man, if I disagreed with him. He loved to use macho terms like man-handle. 'I had to MANHANDLE the dying dog into the car. MANHANDLE him!'
There's loads more I could say about him which is actually really depressing! He basically wormed his way in when I was very vulnerable, then clung on like a limpet. It took me two years to get him to understand I didn't want him anymore, and then the stalking carried on for more than a decade - not helped by the fact that we have a son he could manipulate.
Oh, and he was hairy. Very, very hairy. This is to the woman on the other thread who says that scientists have proven body hair makes men better in bed. Just - no. 