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Oh do I have a new low in wedding poems for you...

620 replies

Weddingpoet · 21/07/2014 09:43

This is so going to out me but I actually don't care. I went to a wedding this weekend. We had to buy our own evening meal and the invitation said "no presents please, cash gifts only". There was a wishing well at the reception to but cash into (ringing the bell as you did ). This morning I received this corker which, obviously, I needed to share with you at once...

Cash we asked for because cash we need
For our kitchen to proceed
Having checked our wishing well
We think some people might not have rung the bell.
If you’re one who has forgotten
Don’t sit at home feeling rotten
Just use the bank details at the end of this ditty
And you can still contribute to our kitchen kitty

OP posts:
apermanentheadache · 21/07/2014 11:57

For your greedy poem you deserve to be slated;
Consider yourselves un-related.

daphnehoneybutt · 21/07/2014 11:56

How very dare they.

Tacky as fuck.

Bogeyface · 21/07/2014 11:55

I think I would set up an anonymous email and send them all of the poems on this thread along with a note saying how shocked and embarrassed (on their behalf) you are and do they know that they have single handedly insulted every single guest.

spiderlight · 21/07/2014 11:54

Bogeyface that is perfect!!!

LineRunner · 21/07/2014 11:52

Tell them you've passed on their bank details to a Nigerian General who, with impeccable timing, just emailed you to say he's got millions.

Mintyy · 21/07/2014 11:52

I LOVE Suzanne's poem!

Mintyy · 21/07/2014 11:50

Weddingpoet, this wedding has completely top trumped any other wedding from hell I have ever read about on Mumsnet Grin.

I am squirming just reading about it.

Please please please you must send a poetic reply.

wubwubwub · 21/07/2014 11:50

whatever happened to "Thank you" ???

TheFairiesAreBack · 21/07/2014 11:50

NO! WAY!

wubwubwub · 21/07/2014 11:50

greedy sods

Suzannewithaplan · 21/07/2014 11:49

And I love yours Psammead!

BiscuitMillionaire · 21/07/2014 11:48

You sent another 'poem' to be even more grabby.
That's utterly shabby and makes me feel stabby.
I'm using the bank details at the end of your ditty
To refund my cash. And no this doesn't fucking rhyme.

Suzannewithaplan · 21/07/2014 11:48

Fab limericks Bogeyface :o

Bogeyface · 21/07/2014 11:44

Dear Bride and Groom I am itchin'
To say what I think of your bitchin'
Shut your fat gob
Go get a job
And pay for your own fucking kitchen

PsammeadPaintedTheLion · 21/07/2014 11:44

You are rude
We are stunned
Can we have
A full refund?

LineRunner · 21/07/2014 11:44

If the standard Debrett response to a wedding poem asking for money became 'Fuck you', I personally think the world would be a better place.

Rhine · 21/07/2014 11:42

This can't be real surely? How can people be so bloody rude and greedy?!

Bogeyface · 21/07/2014 11:42

There was a young couple who wed
And caused all their guests to see red
A poem for money
Which they thought was funny
Lost them their friendships instead

DiaDuit · 21/07/2014 11:37

badly behaved

DiaDuit · 21/07/2014 11:37
Shock

I would really have to tell them how unbelievably bay behaved they are being.

I've decided that anyone asking for cash will get nothing from me.

maras2 · 21/07/2014 11:36

Hmmm DS and his DF are getting married in September.We were wondering how to trim a few bob off.Now about these wishing wells ............. ? < NOT >

Purpleroxy · 21/07/2014 11:36

Fuck me!

Greyhound · 21/07/2014 11:33

Good God - that is shocking.

People are so greedy. I went to a wedding where the bride and groom wanted money to go travelling for a year. Another one where the bride and groom wanted money to buy a camper van. Vulgar and greedy.

Suzannewithaplan · 21/07/2014 11:31

Maybe cut it right down to 'fuck you'?

Fluffycloudland77 · 21/07/2014 11:27

Oh my lord, the cheek of them.

The whole ringing the bell thing is just cringeworthy.