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Original poster

School report 'code' - which ones have you spotted/do you know about?

231 replies

PacificDogwood · 10/07/2014 20:25

Here is my favourite one from when DS2 was 6 (P2 in Scotland):

"DS2 has a very well developed sense of fairness."

Really? I thought, does he? I've never noticed.

Until I realised it translated in to "DS2 feels hard done by very, very easily". That I had noticed Grin

Any other examples? Contributions from teachers also welcome Wink

OP posts:
Boaty · 10/07/2014 21:58

A friends DS had on his report that he spent the lesson in a catatonic state but somehow still did well in tests!Confused Grin

tumbletumble · 10/07/2014 21:49

OMG, I've just read this thread and seen DD's report in a whole new light!

"She is always keen to share her ideas with the class" (three times in the one report, I kid you not!!!) and "She is able to write at length" - clearly she never shuts up, either verbally or in writing!

Original poster
PacificDogwood · 10/07/2014 21:49

DeWee Grin

OP posts:
StickyFloor · 10/07/2014 21:48

We got reports today as follows:

"Stickygirl" always takes her work seriously and wants to do well at everything she tries" : aged 10 why the hell does she still cry everytime she gets stuff wrong?

"Stickygirl is a confident contributor but needs to ensure her comments are concise and relevant" : please put a sock in it once in a while baby

"Stickyboy is impressive when working independently and can join in with his peers when necessary" : he still can't work in a team can he?

DeWee · 10/07/2014 21:45

Ds' (year 2) report said "has an old head on a young body". he read this, then I found him looking in the mirror.
"My head is the same age as my body really isn't it? Or does it look older?" Grin

ravenAK · 10/07/2014 21:45

'complex' = usually absolutely fine, able, but occasionally loses her shit for reasons which presumably make sense to her but which she can't articulate?

(I have a complex dd too Grin).

Original poster
PacificDogwood · 10/07/2014 21:44

OMG, my interweb broke there Shock

Loving all your contributions Grin

Likes to question and challenge - always points out the teacher's errors
I often wondered how that particular headache would be expressed!

OP posts:
IHeartKingThistle · 10/07/2014 21:42

Pico that is a problem. For every kid whose 'lively contributions to class discussions' really means 'won't shut up', there's another that means that actually, they're a lively contributor to class discussions and should be praised for that. But how do you know which one your PFB is? Wink

Peaceloveandbiscuits · 10/07/2014 21:42

"Has a vivid imagination" - lies

Oldraver · 10/07/2014 21:40

My favourite one is 'when on task' translation..he's usually away with the fairies and when he eventually comes back down to this world he works ok

IHeartKingThistle · 10/07/2014 21:37

Oh and DS got 'X has needed some help to deal with emotions of disappointment' in his nursery report. Yes, we'd noticed the screaming too!

Pico2 · 10/07/2014 21:35

This makes me quite sad, I have written plenty of reports and while there are things I have written in code, particularly "child Z has produced some satisfactory work this year", most of what I have written as positives was genuinely positive.

If you try to, you can read negatives between the lines on any report.

That said, I can already see the "won't shut up" comments in DD's nursery records.

Sorry not to be lighthearted, but there are so many lovely children out there who all bring great attributes to the classroom.

IHeartKingThistle · 10/07/2014 21:34

raven we were told off in my last school for daring to comment on a child's personality. I managed to sneak 'pleasant' or similar into a few each time and if I did I really, really meant it!

Bigglesfliesundone · 10/07/2014 21:28

dd is 'complex' apparently. Any ideas??

ravenAK · 10/07/2014 21:24

Chocolate Teacup - Ds1 cracks on with it & is no bother; ds2 is a right handful Grin.

ravenAK · 10/07/2014 21:22

'Fred is a pleasant, sensible member of the class' - I have no idea who Fred is because he's in the 32-strong class I teach once a week for my 3rd subject. The ones I do know are the ones who ARE unpleasant or silly...

LEMmingaround · 10/07/2014 21:17

Dd gets her report next week great thread

ChocolateTeacup · 10/07/2014 21:16

DS1: Knowledgeable, Calm & Hardworking!

DS2: Lively, confident and honest!

What does that translate into?

Oodlives · 10/07/2014 21:12

Dd2 is unique. She certainly is...

BerniceBroadside · 10/07/2014 21:12

A well-developed sense of justice - tell tale

Very articulate - never shuts up

Likes to question and challenge - always points out the teacher's errors

BravePotato · 10/07/2014 21:08

"Braveboy is clearly not a linguist" >> is barely literate Shock

"Braveboy is an enigma, I have no idea what is going on in his mind" >> means just that, could they not have coded it a bit more nicely?

"Braveboy does not give into peer pressure" >> he just won't work in a group!

"Braveboy has an interesting and different sense of humour. He does not even mind if the other children don't get his jokes" >> your son is a nutter...

WhereBeThatBlackbirdTo · 10/07/2014 21:07

I got 'Blackbird hides her light under a bushell' once, from a much hated history teacher!

EverythingCounts · 10/07/2014 21:05

DS got a good report overall but there was a 'is just getting to grips with..' which I read as 'can't get the hang of at all'.

eltsihT · 10/07/2014 21:03

For lazy I write, x can work well on their own or in small groups when they choose to.

Someone who shouts out. Is very keen to join in class discussions

But tbh I only write thing like that when it's not a big issue, if it's a problem I spell it out. X often disrupts class, we are working on this together and there are small improvements which I would encourage them to develop.

I am watching this to help me spice up my reports

LadyIsabellaWrotham · 10/07/2014 21:02

X-post with rumpypumpus, who is clearly mother to DS's twin.