School report 'code' - which ones have you spotted/do you know about?

DD is very puzzled as to how she made a good effort in PHSE, since she's excused to do exta English.

We had similar.

"Minigold needs to take a more active role in class discussions".

That means that you have no idea who she is because she's never been timetabled to attend one of your lessons you plank!

I was soooo tempted to go and see him at parents' evening but DD wouldn't let me.

I teach in secondary and have to right UCAS references;
"Very popular and outgoing" = always bloody talks
"X is an able but is yet to reach his/her potential" = bright but needs to do some f*ing work
"Fiercely independent" = tries to teach herself and can't
"Attends most lessons/hands in most homework on time" = doesn't a significant amount of the time

I'm off to re-read the DSs' reports. With fresh eyes.

I couldn't read my classes individual reports after i'd written them so am worried I repeated myself. There may be a parent wondering why I felt the need to tell them 3 times that they work hard or join in discussions well.
Just to say though - if I say they join in discussions well, it is because they do. It doesn't mean they never shut up at all. It is definitely possible to read too much into reports!

Sorry, lighthearted thread and I've exploded. Thanks for ignoring my rant.

Is got in one of my own school reports "Homebird attends". Can't tell if they were relieved or incredulous.

"Homeboy (11) is well-read with a wide world view and unless I am teaching him to be more organised there is no point him being in school" = this is the most frustrating child I have ever met who knows more than me, has learned it in his own time and of his own volition and I will punish him by making him tidy his desk and shouting at him to bring him into line.

My PE report was blank one year. My teacher failed to believe I had had a year long period and was unable to take part!

DS3's teacher once grabbed me at pick up to mention he was 'quite a character' I pointed out that his father is a teacher so I knew exactly what that meant and she wasn't wrong mini Lost is a little bugger in class but I love him so it's fine

Not in code at all but my favourite one for DS1 was, as a five year old, 'Latinboy must learn to avoid collisions in PE.'

I got has an unique sense of humour once from a form tutor.
We get the boys report tomorrow I will get one good one and one coded one no doubt ds1 has been loved by every teacher he has ever had. Ds2 hates school and makes no secret of this but we are working on it I am dreading his report

DD's best bit this year is "she has a friendship group who respect her opinions and wishes" - I presume this translates as "her friends do as she tells them"

She also got "contributes to class discussions with humour" which by her own admission means she cracks jokes that the teacher doesn't always appreciate...

I've used loads of these phrases on here.

On my own personal reports my form teacher wrote the following comment 'I hope whathave's morning yawning is due to over exertion and not down to boredom' Must've been nice to be able to write what you'd actually like to say!

I still remember my report from far too many years ago, which said I had "to learn the difference between opinion and fact"!

I'm still always convinced I'm in the right

That is nice to hear mamaTJ, he is a "marmite child" iykwim

Our music master always put 'satisfactory' on everyone's report except the girl with grade 8 piano, who got good.

We ways reckoned he didn't want to see anyone at parents evening.

DD is very puzzled as to how she made a good effort in PHSE, since she's excused to do exta English.

DD2's last report

Teacher "DD2 has a strong sense of right and wrong and likes to make it known if she feels another child is breaking the rules"

Head Teacher "DD2 is a popular member of the school"

One of those statements has got to be a lie and I'm putting my money on it being the head teacher

I once got from my PE teacher 'Rusty continues to take a little gentle exercise' =usually in the opposite direction to where the action is...

One of my colleagues years ago wrote about a particularly difficult pupil "N is trying"

He was very proud.

Oh shit. DD's report comes out tomorrow. Instead of reading it and thinking how amazing my pfb is, I am now going to be worried the teachers think she is a gobby shite.

I want to meet BraveBoy! He sounds great!

I did once get "Pico's excellent exam result in no way reflects her work throughout the year". I was quite pleased with that.

DS2's report includes 'confident' and 'is a very popular member of the class who always has a friend to play with' (there is no doubt at all that this means 'never shuts up' because he doesn't). But he is also popular and confident so the teacher isn't making it up.

DS1's school reports, on the other hand, scream 'who? Oh, I'll just put something generic'. Apparently he's produced some 'pleasing' work in art (which must be the default comment because he's crap at art). They don't even get to the point of writing in code. In fact, most of them just say what topics they've studied this year with nothing about DS1 at all.

My teachers never wrote in code. My parents were treated to unrelentingly negative reports throughout my primary school career. Back then, teachers could really let parents know that they hated their child.

Raven that is exactly right she once yelled the class down as she didn't particularly want to do maths hoping that this would distract the teacher enough to cancel it!