What happens to people after they die in hospital

as part of my job I often have to examine people and declare their deaths: eg check their heart, breathing, neurological response before the nursing staff prepare them for family visiting or transport, and I can assure you I never approach the patient with anything less than profoundest respect, I speak to them, and talk through the physical exam exactly as I would if they were alive, and make sure they are composed afterwards eg sheets drawn as if they were lying asleep, eyes closed, if possible any tubes or equipment removed. Its the last dignity I can afford them, and its how I would want my relatives to be treated.

Oh - this has set me off. My Granny died last week. She was a good age but it still is so sad. I'm so sorry for other's losses.

Am off to cuddle 5 month old DD

I remember sitting with a lady that was dying in my old line of work, and I sung to her and chatted to her softly, I think this is just standard care. The HCP I worked with were very gentle and kind towards those who had passed or were passing. So sorry for your loss OP please don't worry anyone about how a loved one is treated after they've gone, I can honestly say from my work and x post with many here that it's with dignity and utmost respect.

My uncle died as a baby. He had coeliac disease and this was bf it was understood and he was in hospital for months before getting pneumonia. In the 30s it was thought shaving the head of a seriously ill person helped and the nurse who did this saved the baby curls for my GPs. And when he died, the same nurse placed a bunch of snowdrops on his wee hands. She became dear family friend who was at my wedding 50 years later.
Once again, thank you to all the lovely HCPs.

I was OK until I read about the nurses and midwives sometimes accompanying little babies/children to the mortuary - that's so unbelievably lovely

I can assure you your dm would have been well cared for.
When I did my health care assistant training we spent a whole day learning about care of patients that had passed away.
Emphasis was placed on dignity and respect and this being the last act of kindness for a patient.

I've never once witnessed anbody being cold and disrespectful when caring for a patient that has passed. We did the window opening thing too. I always treat patients like I would want my loved ones treated.

Not hospital but my sister works in a care home for the elderly, when one dies/is dying my sister sits with them, washes them, makes them comfy in there beds etc, holds there hand etc until the doctors arrives, a lot of these people have no family that care enough to come and my sister hates the thought off them being alone!

My gran is a retired nurse. She always spoke to her patients after they'd gone, and she was preparing their body.

I lost my granddad at the end of September, in hospital. I'd like to think the staff spoke to him and were just as caring as when he was alive.

We sat with my Dad, after he had passed, the staff brought cups of tea, no one rushed us out of the room or made us feel like we were in the way. It was a peaceful oasis between the dreadful knowledge we were losing him and the whirl of blasted paperwork/arrangements.

I will always be grateful for the kindness shown at that hospital.

I know this isn't quite answering the q, more like illuminating the care at end of life for family, too.

Ask for your posts to be deleted then pirate. Job done.

I have, as soon as i did the thing, but everyone else mentions them, this is what i'm tryign to tell people.

The post started with "When my DM died in hospital", so I'm not sure how you failed to pick up that it was a personal post and not just idle curiosity.

No it started with "i don't know what made me wonder this".

Ask for your posts to be deleted then pirate. Job done.

A

I did ok til i read dayshiftdoris's post. Mess now.

I asked my best friend the very same question OP after she nursed our friends grandfather through his final days on her ward. She told me what nurses really do when a patient passes away and to be honest ive never been more proud of her. The dignity afforded to those passed is very touching. A part of the nursing role that we rarely hear about, i feel.

You stop talking about it then Pirate. Just hide the thread. You don't have to read it.

and again, PLEASE stop.

PLEASE.
it's not helping the OP keep giving me attention is it. Just stop. I realised what I had done, I apologised and i asked for the post to be deleted. But thanks to idiots, there's now reminders of it all through the thread, that's really doing your bit to help the OP forget what an insensitive idiot i had been is it, the constant reminders.

"Is there something wrong with people?"

There appears to be something wrong with you. You don't appear to understand that apologising doesn't mean everything's fine, and the reason people are still commenting is because you're on a sensitive thread demanding and shouting in caps that people stop talking about your comment.

You stop talking about it then Pirate. Just hide the thread. You don't have to read it.

It beggars belief that pirate has come onto a thread which she clearly knows nothing about!
How sad that you come along to upset folk!
Jog along and enjoy the rest of your miserable day.

Seriously?

Is there something wrong with people?

STOP TALKING ABOUT IT!

Thank you to everyone who has said that you talk to them. We 'celebrated' 25 years of my mums passing in May this year. I was 4 years old. I feel comforted to know that she would have been spoken to and respected and not on her own.

OP I am so sorry for your loss life just isn't fucking fair! :(

It is an absolute honour to be there for someone at the end of their life and to be trusted to support them and their family. I talk to every patient who has died as if they were still there, and so does every nurse I have ever met.

I have a friend who is a nurse and she has told me the same procedure as I've read here. Deceased patients are treated with care and respect, and are spoken to gently. My grandmother was also a nurse and it was the same in her day. In fact, my grandmother always said that laying out a patient was a great privilege to be honoured and cherished. Your mother will have been treated like she was precious, which of course she was.

It beggars belief that pirate has come onto a thread which she clearly knows nothing about!

How sad that you come along to upset folk!

Jog along and enjoy the rest of your miserable day.

Oh OP I hope you're ok. Be gentle with yourself.

I've performed last offices more times than I can count have previously worked in elderly medicine and now in an emergency setting working with all ages.

I always, always talk to a patient when performing last offices. I explain to the patient what I am going to do, tell them things like "you look so beautiful mrs smith" if appropriate and even chat about boring things like the weather although that's more for me than them! Usually last offices are done with two members of staff, sometimes more. We wash the body, lines are removed if post mortem not required, brush hair, try to insert false teeth if relatives request it etc. The body is wrapped in clean sheets and taken to the mortuary by the porters who are always respectful and kind.

With children everything is done much the same except nurses accompany the porters to the patient to the mortuary. If the patient is a young child the nurse usually carries the child themselves accompanied by the porters.

I started nurse training at 18 and am mid 20s now, I have always seen last offices performed with nothing but respect and dignity.