What happens to people after they die in hospital

I saw my Nanna very soon after she had died in hospital. She was still on the ward and the nurses had dressed her in a clean nightgown, brushed her hair and placed a gerbora flower in her hands. She looked so peaceful, just as if she was asleep. I bent over and kissed her and whispered I loved her. I smelled her hair. Whenever I think about her, that's the picture I always think of first. I'm so thankful to all the staff who gave me such a comforting memory.

Always talk to the person who has died.
I have usually known them a while so "we" have a chat and it helps me and junior colleagues as well.
Wash them as gently as we can and I like to make them smell nice if they have some nice soap or body spray I will use that.
Relatives sometimes ask for make up to be done and I brush their hair.

They are wrapped in a clean sheet and the window is opened.
The ward doors are monitored so that they are taken to the mortuary in a discreet way as far as possible.

Im a former nurse OP.

We washed the patient in a respectful manner and covered them with a hospital gown and clean white sheet. We would talk to them.

We would make the room tidy with space around the bed for relatives.

After relatives had time with their loved one the patient was taken to the hospital morgue.

Sorry to hear about your Mum, Unsureif

Despite the sad topic, this is a lovely, reassuring thread. My Gran died in a nursing home a couple of years ago, surrounded by her children. However, they left before she could be taken away as they imagined it would be quite unpleasant - as much as I've tried not to, the thought of what happened after they left is something I've dwelt on and tried to picture. It's nice to hear how she would have been treated.

I remember my Mum saying that, in the morning when her breathing changed and the nurses knew it wouldn't be long, one of them opened a window to let the spirit out when the time came. For some reason that stuck in my mind as a beautiful gesture, whatever your personal beliefs.

I used to work in a care home and like others have said, the utmost care and respect was always given.

Very often there were people with no relatives nearby, so if we knew that one of our residents was getting weaker, one member of staff's patients would be re-allocated across the team so that there was someone free to sit and be with the patient so that they were not alone when they passed. They would just chat to them, hold their hand and just be a gentle presence to keep them company.

Thank you to all the amazing HCPs on this thread - absolutely the NHS and humanity at its very best. I am in awe of you all. My son died 4 years ago and my brother died very recently and it's very reassuring to hear about the end of life care and the dignity afforded to those who have died.

Hugs to OP. Hope you have found some comfort here.

Thanks Op

My dad died recently and it's lovely to hear how he would have been treated.

My mum died at home and I remember listening to the 2 nurses (from Marie Curie and MacMillan) talking to her throughout getting her ready for the undertakers to arrive. It was lovely to hear even if I did laugh slightly when they went to remove her teeth - she'd have hated that but it lightened the mood a bit. For us anyway, may be others would be horrified at that. I just remember it being respectful and peaceful.

I've been a nurse for over forty years. I absolutely agree with others that yes, we do talk to deceased patients and treat them with dignity and respect. If anyone did otherwise, I would report them, no question.

On a separate note, this is not the first time I've seen PirateJones crash into a sensitive thread with an appallingly ill-judged (being kind here) remark, then retract it and go on and on and on, potentially derailing the thread. I've therefore asked MNHQ to take a look at her posting pattern, rather than just individual reported posts.

A slight tangent, but I was so comforted to learn that the funeral parlour worker was a former nurse. To her, she regarded the laying out of the dead as a continuation of the process of life. I think we often (probably through fear) think such people are a bit weird or macabre, but this woman truly took a pride in what she did. A very special person who played a very important role in us coming to terms with our Mother's death.

When I was in hospital, the lady opposite me passed away with no family there, the nurses took it in turns to sit with her, with the curtains closed. I could hear them talking to her and just treating her with the utmost respect and kindness. They were in tears, I will never forget how much they cared.

Condolences to you Unsureif. It's a dreadful time.
The process after death is not something I have really thought about, although Gps and DF died in hospital. The opening of the window to let the spirit out is lovely, just lovely.
DayshiftDoris, what a beautiful post.

My mum was a nurse for 25 years and now she is a funeral director.

She talks to people when they have died. She treats them as though they are another person in the room a bit I suppose.

As mad as that may sound, I think its nice, respectful in a way, and comforting.

Thank you for posting this. I have often wondered this and am very reassured by your stories.

Sorry for the loss of your mum Unsureif

This thread has really started me off again. My grandmother died just over 3 weeks ago - I knew she was deteriorating and so I drove like a madwoman for 4 hours (with three kids in the car!) to see her. Unfortunately I missed her by half an hour. They had pulled the curtains round and at first we assumed they were changing her bedding or something. I went in, gave her a kiss on the forehead and left the hospital in a daze. I know my dad and stepmum hung around the hospital for some time afterwards, but this question has been playing on my mind since then. Thank you to all who have posted about their experience in the profession, your kindness and that of the staff who looked after my granny recently means a great deal to me.

Sorry I didn't mean to make people cry and I wondered about posting but you never wonder about this stuff until a person you love dies and then it's very, very important so I wanted to share it as the knowledge might bring comfort in the future (or now) for someone reading.

Yes Wanda I used to be a medical secretary & typing up the last note the last dictation would be RIP. Then I would write RIP on the front of the file.

This thread has made me teary. You wonderful, special people. Thank you

Hugs to you OP, hope it has helped to know that your DM will have been treated with dignity and respect.

I am a nurse in a hospital and when someone dies two of us care for the person, I always talk to the person and handle them with utmost respect and dignity, we wash the person, change their clothes and prepare them for relatives.

Myself and my colleagues always say we feel it is a privalige to provide the final care for our patients. (Sorry about the spelling night shift brain).

Thank you unsure

This thread has made me smile and feel better today.

to all of you who have shared your stories.

Reading them makes me very proud of the old NHS and full of admiration for all of you doing the jobs you do.

for you too, OP and anyone else who has suffered a loss.

At the hospital I used to work in (not on the wards), the last entry in deceased patients' notes was written by a doctor, usually one of the juniors. They wrote down the observations/checks done to confirm that death had occurred, the time of death, and underneath they would always write: RIP.

I always thought that was a very caring and respectful thing to do.