What happens to people after they die in hospital

What a fascinating thread. It is humbling to read the comments from those looking after the dead. Bless you all xxx

Another nurse (and ex-midwife) here, and I wanted to agree with all the others with regard to dignity, respect, chatting to the deceased.

Opening the window is something that is handed down through generations of Nurses. Just something you do.

We also leave curtains closed until the deceased has been taken off the ward and the bed has been cleaned / made up with clean linen. Not sure why, just another token of respect.

This thread has me in tears. For everyone who has lost someone, my heart goes out to you.
I lost my mum almost 13 years ago at home, and my dad in October in hospital.
It's a real comfort to know how he was cared for in his final minutes. I didn't make it back up in time for his passing, as they sent me home to rest, being heavily pregnant. They were amazing people.
I want to help grieving families, and so I've started to look into working in the funeral service when all my children are at school.

OP you never stop missing them. It gets easier to smile at the memories instead of weeping as time goes by.

My dh is a rural GP and quite often has to register the death of a patient.

He says as he checks them over (there are some very standard tests including getting a pain response) he chats away and apologises. He always makes sure they look peaceful after, even before the nurse comes, closes eyes, smooths hair etc.

He then writes in the notes. He has to. He has never registered a death without writing "death confirmed at xx:xx. Rest In Peace (never RIP). All our thoughts at xxxx surgery with the family and friends". And signs.

It's usually the last entry. He never enters it via the computer, but gets the actual notes and writes it by hand. These days, it's pretty much the only hand-written notes he makes, but he feels it's the last mark of respect he can make for his patients, many of whom he's known for many years.

When I've cared for the dying it has been an honour to give my absolute best in their final moments.

Nursing staff who have cared for someone actively want to do the final stage of care on the ward. They speak to the deceased person just as they did when they were alive, with kindness and respect, explaining what is happening next as they are moved during the wash. They are kept covered during the bed-bath in exactly the same way that they were when they were still alive.

Some wards open a window and even used to place a single flower from the person's bedside on the prepared deceased person as a last token of respect, but it seemed to be a personal thing rather than hospital policy and usually more if they felt they 'knew' the person well enough not to be taking liberties.

The only difference is that normal chit-chat doesn't take place in the room because it is seen as disrespectful.

The wards are the sectioned off with screens so privacy is optimised while porters transport the deceased person to the mortuary. In the hospital I worked the morgue was on the lower ground floor away from main entrance and outpatients etc. here relatives could organise a final visit before their lived ones were taken to the undertakers.

I hope it helps to put your mind at rest. Your loved one would have been well cared for throughout the whole process.

Don't know about a&e, but I work in theatres and we still wash and dress the person as described above, but leave in cannulae, tubes, catheters etc.

Personally I don't talk to patients who have died, but I do treat them with the utmost respect and continue to maintain their dignity as much as when they were alive.

When patients die in theatre in my specialty, there has usually been a decision to withdraw treatment because we know they will never wake up. Sadly in practice there isn't usually time to fetch family to be there. I always hold my patient's hand as they slip away. I know they are unaware by this stage, but nobody should die without a hand to hold.

I've washed and 'laid out' a few people. I've never been nor observed anyone else being disrespectful or uncaring.

I've always talked to the person as if they were still alive and if I knew the person well and they were affectionate in life I've sometimes given them a kiss on the hand and said it was from me and their loved ones and gone through their names.

I never did the opening the window thing because I think the soul is eternal and powerful and a window won't stop whatever process happens!. I've seen lots of people do it though.

Not sure about policy but it's been done everywhere I've worked.

After the patient has been moved, there is a cleansing and blessing ritual performed in the theatre where they died and we can't use it for any other cases until that has been done (Maori custom/ritual, they have priests on 24/7 cover).

Not policy just a nursing quirk!! Not sure of the correct word, I think that as we all walk so close to death and it's inevitable it's just second nature to care as much for the dead as the living, I always believe the handling of situations before and after death give the relatives some comfort and that is worth it's weight in gold. I truly mean it when I say it's an honour to care for people who are dying or who have died.

I'm glad people are comforted by this chat as we all tend to shy away from death, it's not something to dwell on so it's good to know that when the time comes we truly care.

Should add we also talk to the patient to explain what we're doing and why. We sometimes chat to them but never over them. They are treated as any living patient would be with respect and dignity.

MrsMorton if someone dies in theatre it's a similar process to the wards.

The surgical site is sutured closed (if the operation had started), the patient is washed and put in a shroud or linen wrapping. We don't have flowers or windows but someone will normally open a side door.

All tubes and lines are left in situ in case of need for post mortem to determine cause of death (which isn't always needed, the admitting team discuss with the coroner either then or the next day if it's in the middle of the night).

Once clean and wrapped the patient is transferred to the mortuary with their notes for the pathologists / coroner discussion. If a death certificate can be issued one will be and then the undertaker takes over as normal.

The most recent death I death with was a lady in her 80s, her husband had stayed in the hospital overnight and in the early hours we realised she was in the final stages of life, my colleague phoned her husband and I sat with her talking to her and stroking her head, my colleague returned and sat on the other side, sadly her husband did not make it in time and I had to catch him to tell him before he walked in, can't describe how hard that was, we left the couple together and my colleague and myself went into the clinical room and cried, I composed myself and went to see my patient and husband, I told him that we were with his wife when she died and he cried and said thank you, proudest moment of my nursing career.

I'm sorry for your loss, OP.

My grandad died in hospital seven years ago. My family were all there when he died, and he looked so frail and not like himself. The nurses gave us some time in a side room, and then allowed us to go back in, and they'd taken away all the medical equipment and put his teeth in and he looked how we remembered him. The staff were great and very caring.

It's really nice to know that this treatment carried on after we left. Thank you to all the brilliant HCPs.

I occasionally work in a mortuary, can I ask those in the know, if someone dies in theatre or in A&E, I'm sure they are taken to the pathologist exactly how they were so that the cause of death can be determined. Rather than washed and dressed IYSWIM? What do you do for last offices in that scenario?

OP I'm sorry for your loss. We never stop missing people

to you all. My granny passed 5 years ago and the staff were fantastic in those last hours while we were with her.

So sorry for all the posters who have experienced loss.thinking of you

It is amazing to read of how much people do care after death, and I'm touched by the RIP written on the files. It is comforting to know the care is so compassionate. I'm in awe of nurses, Dr's and other HCPs, I think I'd be a snotty mess each time, it is lovely to hear it being described as an honour.

I hope this thread has bought comfort to many.

After my cousins very untimley funeral yesterday this has got me in tears. I'm so glad to know how well he was treated after he died.

Thankyou those who shared their experiences and sorry to those who have lost loved ones.

I would just like to add my heartfelt thanks to all the HCP's who have posted on here, I know what you say is true as I have seen it. Your kindness and respect at such a sad time for everyone is invaluable.

We recently had a sudden death in our family, I can say without any hesitation that the kindness and understanding shown by the Police, the Coroner, the Funeral Directors, and everyone else involved, made an awful, awful, time slightly easier to cope with. It was comforting to know and see the dignity and respect afforded to the person who died, and the care and compassion shown towards the grieving. Thank you all.

flipflop what a truly special person you are.

Seconding all the nice posts above.

When I was still on the wards when a patient passed it was a point of honour/respect to be the one to accompany the patient to the morgue. It was seen as the final act of care to ensure they were still treated in death as in life, with care and respect.

The thing is that sometime actions can be misunderstood, I once had a patient who was a member of a fairly obscure religious sect. One of their beliefs/ rituals was for a large number of their community to pray loudly over the person who was dying until they were gone. If I remember correctly the belief was that the last thing the person should hear was this prayer, so the praying went on 24 hours a day. Of course we couldn't say exactly how long this could take.

Obviously due to the other patients needs this couldn't happen in an open ward, and the private rooms were too small to contain the patient, equipment needed to keep the patient comfortable and the required amount of community members.

We had a large treatment room that was being used as a storage room/ ad hoc meeting room/ break room when staff couldn't leave the ward due to crap staffing etc.

So we cleared it out, tidied it up, and moved the patient in there it was actually no different to them being in a deluxe private room. It was a great comfort to the patients family and community, to the point that over 20 years later they still donate to the hospital charity in the patients and the wards name.

However looked at in the wrong context this could be seen by others as horrible treatment. In an age of phone cameras, a 'before' pic of this room would have been on the front page of the Daily Mail.

I've only ever performed last offices on babies so I'm not sure about adults but where I worked a nurse had to go down to the morgue with a porter, it would be the nurse carrying the baby. We would have washed and dressed them, sometimes the parents preferred to help and sometimes they preferred for us to do it. I always talked to the baby "sorry poppet", "here's a nice clean babygro for you", that sort of thing. I've certainly never seen a baby left in anywhere other than a side room or rooming in room. I would assume adults are the same.

dayshiftdoris thank you. The hardest thing I ever had to do was to leave my dd in her Moses basket when I was discharged. Our wonderful midwife stayed with her and insured us she would accompany her to the mortuary. You have no idea how much this little gesture means.