Tell me about the most jaw dropping OMG moment you've ever witnessed...

Crying at an awful cunt for....!!!

Another bus one, dark winter night about 8pm, put my hand out for the bus and clothesline a man on a bike with no lights dressed all in black!!

As a student I worked in a cafe to help fund my was through University.

One busy weekend afternoon a very heavily pregnant woman came in with her husband. Part way through their visit she got up to use the ladies room and her waters broke. A colleague actually asked them to clean up the liquids before they left as leaving them for a staff member to clean up was a breach of health and safety. She even went and got a mop an bucket!!!

I was like, what the actual F!!! Then proceeded to clean them up myself!

Neil I remember that! I live very close to it! The pics in the local paper of the lady sat in her car smiling and waving like she was on a boat, very glad it didnt sink!

"Suddenly he emasculated" ha ha ha ha :o

Ha, it's totally understandable how that would get to urban legend status, it's amazing BUT I'm now worried about all the other urban legends- could this mean they all have a basis of truth. Off to have slender man nightmares.

Clemence shiiting hell. I shall be sending that link to my sister posthaste. I am shit with dates, but the GPO encounter would have been I reckon 2004ish. It is a much repeated family tale, now catchphrase. You have set me hunting. Is it possible to track an urban legend in the making. I will report back. This is so much bettef than family fucking trees.

Nigella she's an awful cunt for the cocaine.

Heston he's an awful cunt for dry ice

Ramsey he's an awful cunt for the cunts.

So versatile

Neil (2sheikhs) - You do seem a tad accident-prone and, er, hot tempered?
"My boss hated me though. A couple of months before that, I delivered some stuff to his house in Wilmslow and went tear-arseing into his drive and ripped one of his £5000 gates of it's hinges and twisted his fence. He turned up on site one day and caught me asleep in his truck. And, just as a joke, I told him I'd love to lick his wifes flange."

I think you came off pretty well out of all that! Very glad the elderly lady hobbled away safely, and managed to rescue her valuable walking stick

Taking a prospective tenant around our rental house we realised the current tenants had installed a pole dancing kit in the master bedroom.

It would have been. She used to arrange electives, etc.

Probably the same forum I was on viva, that's how we arranged it!

Yes, Rushere is quite a way west. Fairly close to Rwanda I guess. I never went east of Kampala. I've heard of Iganga though. I used to chat to someone years ago on a midwifery forum who worked there. I sent her a big parcel of clothes for the orphanage.

Just really inappropriate and potentially upsetting for people reading, Bertie. If I was in a site full of midwives or obstetricians, I would, but not a site full of laypeople, a good proportion of whom are pregnant.

Why can't you post the stuff from the maternity hospital, Harder?

Iganga, out east! Rushere is west? Didn't see anything west of entebbe to be honest. I'd go back in a heartbeat, if only for a Rolex for lunch!

I go away for he week and this thread is still going giving (I was in Belgium so nothing at all extraordinary happened.
A cunt for the butter has got to be a new catchphrase if not an acronym.

I'm glad she was OK. £1500 doesn't seem like much for unfair dismissal - I hope you got a new job quickly.

She was very lucky. She only got a cut ankle. She also got interviewed by Kate Garraway on gmtv. And she got a brand new car.
I got sacked. Then sued them for unfair dismissal and got £1500.

You can read about it if you like. Just google "river Lune crash skerton bridge" etc..

Was she ok neil?

I was also responsible for a jaw dropping moment but didn't actually see it. I was driving a brand new truck on it's first day on the road. It cost about £60k I think. I crashed into an old woman in her car on a bridge in Lancaster and sent her through the parapet and a 30ft drop into the River Lune. Witnesses said it was like something out of a James Bond film.

The pheasant story has reminded me,I once watched a woman drive through the middle of our city, in rush hour (no countryside for miles and miles) with a pheasant stuck in the bumper of the side of her car. It was fecking huge and clattered loudly as she went along. As there was no way on earth she hasn't heard the racket I can only assume she was going it would either fall out our waiting for a dh to remove it.
I used to wonder where the hell it came from but I opened the back door last autumn to pheasant sat on my lawn so I guess they get about more than I credited them for.

HarderToKidnap, which hospital in Uganda? I worked at Rushere for a while.

Some of these are absolutely brilliant!!

Mine - walking through Hyde park in Leeds with my boyfriend, now my DH. It was about 2am and totally pitch black. Suddenly out of the darkess loomed an enormous black man, 6 foot 5, built like the proverbial, wearing a red leather miniskirt, bustier and thigh high red boots. He was really really crying, proper sobbing, don't think I've ever seen anyone cry so hard. I made DH run after him and ask if he was ok, he just said "I'm fine thanks mate". Always wondered what had happened to him that night.

Saw loads of OMG things whilst working at a maternity hospital in rural Uganda, but nothing I'd write on a parenting site.

Whilst working at the local council offices as a teenager, I'd wandered outside for a fag. Was idling about in the sunshine when a man runs onto the lawn outside, strips naked and sets himself on fire! He sadly died later, it was a protest because the council had refused him planning permission for a house he'd built in his garden. They later did grant retrospective planning and it's now a nursery, and totally infamous in our town!

loving all these.

I saw a guy once in November or December in Dublin walking up Grafton street with no top on. Not so remarkable except he had grapes on dangling off him that were threaded under his skin - sewn to him, I suppose, but dangling. Very odd. The woman he was with was in black shiny skintight pvc, as far as I remember but I couldn't get over why he had half a dozen grapes sewn to his skin, on his back and chest.

A brace of pheasant in the gutter in Shepherds Bush - why? How?

I had morning sickness with DS and was on the bus trying to figure out whether to get off or not (was on my way to a work conference and didn't want to be late, also wasn't certain if I was going to be sick). Ended up being sick into a nappy bag that was in my handbag (already had DD!) , tying it neatly and getting off the bus with it to put it in the nearest bin. I wonder what my fellow passengers made of that.

When I was pretty young, maybe 9 or so, on O'Connell Street in Dublin. We saw a young teen inhale something from a plastic bag (paint or glue, I think) and then run straight out into traffic. Made me really shocked and sad.

I had another but I can't remember. Gr.

I used to have a hideous NDN. She once asked her 3 year old DD 'What are ye?' 'I'm a bitch, mummy.' :( It still makes me sad after nearly 20 years.

She used to tell the story of going to the bank when she was pregnant with DC2. She (accidentally) puked all over the counter. After she'd finished, she looked at the woman behind the counter and asked her 'Aren't you going to clear that up?'.