Tell me about the most jaw dropping OMG moment you've ever witnessed...

Walking home one morning after a night out and a door in front of us suddenly opened. A guy in nothing but white socks and y fronts was pushed out followed by his clothes. He sheepishly picked them up and ran off down the street clutching them.

My friend and I still howl with laughter about that one. His face was an absolute picture.

*clerk even.

I used to work in a bank next door but one to a chip shop. Family of four walked in, sat at the table in the banking hall, got their fish and chips out and ate them.

No banking-weren't even customers AFAIK.

Someone smeared poo all over the buttons of the ATM one night, and a nappyless child did a poo in the banking hall.

And I though being a bank cler would be a naice job.

Beth, what happened to the pig?! [agog]

We lived in a smart area of Paris. Sunday afternoon, on the balcony, looking out for DD1's friend who was due to arrive. Lots of people sitting outside at restaurant on the corner, having lunch. Mother walks past with her daughter, who looked to be about four. Child was clearly mithering about something. Mother stood there and waited while child pulled down her pants and did a huge turd on the pavement right outside the restaurant - a matter of a couple of feet away from where people were eating. Child pulled up her pants and they walked on as if nothing had happened. Lovely for the diners, no?

Some years ago when I lived with my parents we had some really torrential rain, the drains couldn't cope and it caused a flash flood. It was like a river flowing down out street and several homes were sadly flooded, the fire brigade even had to rescue some people. Obviously a large crowd gathered to watch all of this, myself and my mum included.

Our street was always being used as a short cut my drivers who wanted to avoid the busy main road, and as we watched many drivers came down the road, saw it was blocked off due to the flood, turned around and went back the way they came. A woman driver then came hurtling down the road, saw the flood, stopped and then reversed backwards right into a parked car making an enormous bang and leaving a dent in it. She then drove off at speed without stopping or attempting to find out who the owner was, despite a crowd of about twenty people seeing her do it.

How the hell she thought she'd get away with it when there was so many witnesses I don't know?

The first time I bumped into Percy Vere aka Jessie the Clapham Transvestite, wearing a little silver cropped top and mini skirt on his bike my jaw literally dropped. Not since Amelia Bloomer has anyone achieved such notoriety purely through their choice of outfits.

It always happens on the bus.

Someone once abandoned their teacup pig (Not so teacup sized really) on the late bus I was on. It had gone to sleep on the seat. I walked past it at the end of the route when it was just me, the driver and the pig.

Abandoned pigs aren't covered in bus driver training. He didn't even know who brought it on. It was tied to the seat, so clearly someone had but.

Also various kinds of racial and sexual abuse at drunk o'clock.

An Italian man in a leopard print thong on the beach in Mexico. He bent down to retrieve his volleyball ball and oh, my eyes!

Oh I have so many to choose from!

My house faces onto a common in London, so I regularly get an eyeful.

A particular recent favourite was a white van with three men in that drove onto the common, got gardening tools out of the back, dug up turf squares covering about 15m by 15m, put the turf into the back of their van, and drove off.

Lots of us noticed but it just seemed they must be from the council works department upgrading the turf or something, it didn't occur to any of us that someone would have the brass neck to steal it in the middle of the day. The community police officer was unimpressed with us.

I also saw a couple having sex out there last week at lunchtime. I don't mean subtle fumbling I mean full on sex. They had a picnic blanket draped over them so presumably thought no-one would notice

The pushchair ladies sound unhinged.

A few weeks ago I was taking part in an outdoor exercise class. A woman walked her dog infront of us, her dog did a massive poo while she watched and then they both walked off!

Oh my god that would have been so bizarre to watch!

Mine was seeing a two year old (who I know, therefore know her age), pick up and drink the can of red bull infront of her and neither parent batted an eyelid.

I can't believe the cheek of some people! I've had a few moments like this later but am just about to go out so will add some stories later!