Tell me about the most jaw dropping OMG moment you've ever witnessed...

Dh and I decided to enjoy the last 6 weeks of my pregnancy. So went out for dinner. Saturday night and we decided to go to TGI Fridays. We were sat in a quiet part with 2 ladies as the next table and a family in the window. It was after 8.30pm and the children were under 5. Mother had drank 2 bottles of wine and started ranting at one of the children who was whining with tiredness. So much so, that the ladies next to us and us were all sat staring as she was being really horrible. I wanted to go over and hug her wee boy as he was tired and wanted to be home in bed. The woman was really horrible. She walked past us on the way out and said "bet you wish you'd not got knock up after witnessing that?!" I retorted with "actually what I've learned is I certainly won't be a mother like you!" Her face went beet root and she stormed out. Her husband just looked mortified.

The women at the next table congratulated me on being assertive but I was awake all night worrying about that wee boy.

Another time was, we were in London. Popped into the apple store and went upstairs, and there was a couple of apple employees at the kids area with some kids. They made space for my 2 while dh was looking about. Next thing 2 police officers had appeared and 2 of the other 3 children started howling. Turned out their parents had dumped them there at 12pm and it was now 2.30pm. The non crying children explained mum and dad had gone shopping!!! Ds shot away as he thought we would be in trouble but a lovely employee explained she knew we were from Scotland and on holiday from school. Felt sorry for the kids as 2 of them were really upset. But I couldn't get over anyone thinking they could use the apple store as a babysitter!!

i saw a Phantom aircraft plane crash in Abingdon during its warm up the day before the main show. i was only ten and with my parents on the adjacent caravan site next to the airfield. I will never forget the impact, the mushroom cloud and the awful silence a split second afterwards before the siren went and the young army firefighters went on scene. Both pilots were killed instantly.

I was waiting in the bus station once and two old men started punching each other and calling each other names. And they carried it on the bus too, bus driver kicked them both off

krev that's the one. Funny how no one about knew anything about the fly past. (Conspiracy face)

When we were in our early 20s, my sisters and I kayaked down the pretty decorative stream which ran through the middle of our naice village dressed as otters. I imagine that raised a few eyebrows

Also the gynaecologist who asked me to participate in some research she was doing by answering some questions, and then, whilst I watched, wrote completely made up answers on the form - as in, different to what I was telling her - signed it off and popped it into a folder. Blatant falsification of data!

When I was a teenager me and some friends saw an older man stand outside the main entrance of a busy shopping centre. He stood still for a minute then shook his leg hard and out fell a massive poo from his trouser leg. He then walked off like nothing had happened while we all screamed!

DH wanted me to try and pee in a policemans helmet when I was pregnant, I never got the courage to do it.

Bin lorry with engine idling parked at end of my drive in a little cul de sac. Im going past the window and the driver gets out, oh thinks I, wonder if theres a problem.... driver goes round to front of the lorry, and PEES on the pavement...in front of my house!!! Big steaming puddle of piss. I was like then .

I had a wee in a car park once It was at a country show & time to go home, the queue for the ladies' was enormous & I absolutely couldn't wait! I went to the car, in the middle of a huge field of cars, opened both doors on one side & squatted down, just like we used to do when we were kids on a long journey I don't think anyone noticed she said hopefully

Another poo one.

DM and I were walking down the Kings Road behind a naice couple (think Sloane Ranger) when the "gentleman" stopped and shook his right leg. A huge turd rolled out. He kicked it into the road and walked on.

My DM was to say the least!

I saw a man pull down his trousers and take a shit in a car park.

Ah, that's sad about the little boy, rainbowfeet.

I have heard of that happening in libraries a lot. Some people just really don't care, do they?

rainbow dear lord, that's terrible parenting right there!

Euphemia, that reminds me of the man who at the swimming pool at my gym strutted up and down the poolside naked and then joined me and the only other female in the hot tub and started wanking in the hot tub.

I worked for a well known high street store in customer services.. Apart from the usual people trying to return clothes that had been purchased & worn several years ago, underwear & swim wear without the hygiene strip etc.. I had a lady queue for ages with a potty full of her child's wee for me to go & empty!! (I didn't)!
Several lost children but one who's mother & had told to find a security guard & disappeared off out if the shop & around town while we looked after him!! Child was 4 yrs old.. Staff had searched the store for her for half an hour before calling the police she strolls back about 30 minutes later 'to pick him up'!!

As a police officer , have had some surreal moments , but the oddest happened a few years ago when I was on night duty in West London . We're driving down the A40 , when we see a little black Mr Bean type mini join the road from the slip road in front of us . It joins a bit erratically , slowing down , then suddenly speeding up , changes lanes unneccesarily slowly , then jerks to a halt at the traffic lights , before kangarooing away when they turn green . 'Aha! ' we think , possible drink drive , so we stop the vehicle , and it pulls over into a layby . I hop out of the car and go over to the driver's side , to get them out onto the pavement . At which point , the mini door opens , and the longest pair of legs in fishnets and heels , I've ever seen unfold themselves from the car , followed by the rest of this most gorgeous dark haired beautifully dressed person in full evening cocktail dress , who is literally seven feet tall . And male . So I say ' look I'm sorry , but we've pulled you because of your driving . Have you had anything to drink this evening? ' and he replies 'no I'm just shit at driving in heels '

He then goes to the boot , changes the heels for trainers , and drives off with a grin. Bless .

I have another poo one.

My dp works in a pub, he opened up one day and cleaned the pub including the toilets. Nobody had been in the pub all morning until this one woman came in, she seemed very respectable, quite posh, well dressed etc. she had a drink and went to the toilet, she came back and said to my dp "someone's made a bit of a mess in the toilet", finished her drink and left.

Dp went to inspect and clean the mess, and there was shit everywhere, smeared into the toilet seat, all over the walls, the door, toilet roll holder.
It could only have been the woman that alerted him to the mess!

When a man dropped his trousers and danced around me in a circle. I was 14/15 at the time and it was dark, I was in a secluded area. I was shocked!

The other day 2 homeless men were fighting outside the Home Bargains because one was on the others 'patch'

When at edinburgh zoo my kids were playing at the park next to the penguins, a wee boy pushed past them, shat on the path and went back up the ladder. Parents saw and laughed.

Armadale You should have grassed them up.

I remembered a very surreal moment...

I was about 16 or 17 and my friends and I borrowed a narrow boat from the friend of one of their dad's.

4 16 year olds on a narrow boat. With no clue about how to actually drive it.

We tried to turn around after day one of our little weekend trip but the lever thingy which made it go forward and back snapped off. We just sort of drifted about for a while, trying to stick it back on with plasters so we could steer again.

We became aware that a very pretty looking river boat was coming our way. It was white and all decorated with bunting and was the sort of boat you might hire out for a few hours for tea and cake with a party of people.

We were sideways across the canal and the boat started hooting at us. Somehow we managed to go to one side of the canal so they could move past, and as they did, their passengers, about 20 long haired, bearded heavy metal fans, sporting AC/DC and Metallica t-shirts, all stood on deck, flipping us the bird and yelling obscenities at us.

It was so confusing. Wtf were a bunch of Hell's Angels types doing on a pretty little river boat? It was so funny, and weird.

Saw a man fall backwards off some scaffolding from first floor height, landing on his back. He got up, dusted himself down, and walked entirely normally down the road, as if this was a totally usual way to exit a building.

I had to sit down on the kerb as I felt dizzy and sick just having seen it.

On holiday, visiting a French zoo. We were admiring a tiny little capuchin monkey clinging to the wire at the front of his cage when the man next to me lit a cigarette and started to push it through the wire for the monkey to take, grinning all the while as if it was great sport.

I was able to grab his arm and wrench it away in time, and some fairly choice phrases from schoolgirl French found a use once again.

It was my cousins 18th birthday party a fair few years ago. Her family had ordered her a kiss o gram for a bit of fun. So there was cousin sitting on a chair in the middle of the room with the kiss o gram doing his, emm, job. Next thing we knew my cousins brother dives over the tables and smacks the poor bloke right in the face .

He then proceeded to chase him around the function room, staggering about clearly drunk, shouting "get away from my sister!" There was blood everywhere, I felt so bad for the poor man. The woman who worked behind the bar called the police and got bouncers to come in and restrain my cousins brother.

We were all so shocked and still to this day have no idea why he lunged for the kiss o gram

When DS2 was six (pre autism diagnosis) he was having a meltdown in the supermarket when an old lady came marching and announced VERY loudly "That young man needs a good smack on the backside!!!"
I replied equally loudly "And you lady need to learn to mind your own business!!!" I picked up DS2 and left the lady mouthing like a goldfish!!!

I was sunbathing in Green Park one afternoon - just me, not many other people around, completely absorbed in my book. Suddenly, I hear a noise, and these guys all park up... I was a little surprised!