Tell me about the most jaw dropping OMG moment you've ever witnessed...

Slag with a nag, no?

Never mind jerk with a Merc, jerk with a horse!

I'm still laughing over the rainbow varnished polyps!! It actually reminds me of something Attenborough would say.

Lj8893 I live in Leeds ..we are very exotic up north!
My last Omg moment was on the tube though. It was one of those that start overground.I had got on the train but it was waiting for a while. A couple ran on thinking it was going to set off then realised they needn't have bothered. He blamed her,she blamed him. There was a five minute pause then loud and clear to the completely silent carriage she said " I think it's time we got a divorce" and went on to very calmly and clearly state all the reasons why. The poor man was stuttering his objections but she said shed made her mind up. I didn't know where to look!

By the way still killing myself laughing about the Chinese lady going after people with a butter knife and a side dish!!

Ill have to ask my mum when I next speak to her, shocked I've believed her all these years, I still remember how upset she was when she told us! I've told loads of people that story!!

Still rude of you to imply I was the one lying though.

Lj, yes you have made some brilliant contributions to this fantastic thread.

However

Your mum's friend made that one up.

Lets keep the others coming

rabbit a guy dressed as robin came up to me in the street the other day and said...

"I heard you scream, robin is here to help"

Turned out he was collecting for charity, I did donate but did warn him his cheesiness may put people off!

It was in Lenzie,East Dunbartonshire so probably not Delboy and Rodney sadly.

How rude complex I have contributed to this brilliant thread several times, none of my posts have been bollocks! Perhaps my mums friend did make it up, but like I say, I would be very surprised as she is an extremely sensible woman.

A nice one was seeing Batman and Robin running along the street,like that scene in Only Fools and Horses. It made me smile.

Ooh, second is the old woman carrying a ghetto blaster playing 'Rambling Rose'.

Priceless

Lj , yours is bollocks and you know it.

It's a shame when folk mess around with a fantastic thread like this.

My fave is Gobble gobble gobble Xmas Turkey man so far, but it is a very close thing.

LOL at jerk with a Merc! I witnessed an elderly lady do that to a friend's car a few months ago, she literally bounced with the impact as the front of her car hit the back of his (parked) car, then tried to drive away - we chased after her knocking on the windows until she stopped.

She said she "hadn't noticed" hitting his car, at which point he very politely pointed out that perhaps it was time for her to reconsider holding a licence. Then she had the nerve to say to him "I hope you're not going to try to defraud me on the repair costs." Cheek!

What a shocking thread and no more poi pleeease

Jerk with a merc...

I was on new recruits’ training in the Territorial Army, in an MOD owned training area. We were learning to fire and manoeuvre, so we were about 100 people in a large flat field, lying on the grass, jumping up and running forward and throwing ourselves to the ground again, firing blank rounds, whilst the sergeants let off thunder flashes and smoke grenades. When a shout came over the field “STOP THE WAR, HORSE RIDER” So we all stopped firing and politely waited for the horse rider to go away. But no! She rode her horse into our field and started practicing dressage amongst us. When she first entered the field she trotted her horse directly over someone who was very lucky not to get kicked!

As she practiced her transitions, and flying leg changes round the field, steering her horse towards all the people on the ground, making them jump up and scatter out of the way of her advancing hooves our sergeants chased her round the field trying to remember their polite vocabulary, and asking if she could please go away. She disdainfully ignored them. The horse grew increasingly wound up, by all the smoke, cordite smells, and people in green leaping up from the ground to get out of his way, so the rider whipped the horse, and made him do his transitions again.

It was an amazing display of arrogance I shall never forget.

DP and I had a nice meal in a local Chinese restaurant.

Was a set menu and we had rice wrapped in leaves (not something we'd ordered before). I commented about the leaves and wondered where they'd come from/what kind they were.

We jokingly agreed that they were probably from the park. Not that we were bothered, we're greedy and eat anything!

About a week later we were wandering past a different restaurant and we saw a waiter in his full smart-waiter gets up run outside to a grassy area with a tree, scoop up a loads of leaves and run back inside.

So, fancy rice wrapped in leaves? Don't order it!

The pelvic thrusting one is wonderful.

A couple of years ago, DH found the guy from the council who sweeps up the leaves etc on our drive, pissing up against the garage door - the drive is at the bottom of our back garden, but even so! The CCTV across the road didn't seem to bother him...

And on Friday, I was at Sainsburys with DS2, putting my shopping in the car. There was a small Kia parked directly opposite me, being washed by one of those carpark car wash blokes. He jumped out of the way very swiftly as a bloke driving a Merc attempted to park in the empty space next to it, by bouncing his car off the back corner of the Kia. He got it all parked up, got out, and denied having hit any car - there were 4 witnesses! I took a photo on my phone and went to have a chat with the security guard in the shop, they found both him and the lady whose car he hit and it all appeared sorted out by the time I left. But, how can you not notice you've hit another car?!

I'm pretty certain it happened, I would be extremely shocked for her to make it up, she's one of the most sensible women I know!

Oops I see CunnyFunt beat me to it. This story happened to my aunt's friend....!

Lj8893 that's an urban myth!

www.snopes.com/horrors/gruesome/subway.asp

Lj8893 that's an urban myth!

www.snopes.com/horrors/gruesome/subway.asp

Working in 5* hospitality while at uni. Guest staying in a suite wakes up in the middle of the night due to an unfamiliar sound. Gets up, walks into the lounge, finds other guest, stark naked, in his room pissing against the credenza.

We never did figure out how he obtained the key.

Next most jaw-dropping moment after that: how relaxed suite guy was about the whole thing. I thought I'd seen it all by that time and I would have screamed into the receptionist's face over that.