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Original poster

He has eaten a fat ball

311 replies

ManifestoMT · 06/03/2014 00:09

And complained to me that it was a bit greasy.

Sigh

the fuckwit has eaten the fatballs made by the children in a park last week and left in the fridge to solidify.

I have no idea what culinary delight he thought they were supposed to be.

I wouldn't mind but he was there when they made them!

OP posts:
DoctorTwo · 07/03/2014 17:01

Artisan Scotch Eggs.

preemieparent56 · 07/03/2014 16:48

Does he cycle? Waterproof trousers and cycle clips would be a good start! LOL

Blatherskite · 07/03/2014 16:45

The whole thread and then this finished me off -

"Pass me the salt would you starling - I mean, darling!" type of thing"

Grin

Now I have to stop reading as DS is trying to read over my shoulder to work out why I'm laughing so much and I don't want to have to explain what 'fucker' means!

Shartibartfast · 07/03/2014 16:44

whoops link fail! trying again!

Shartibartfast · 07/03/2014 16:44

Link to [[http://www.handmadescotcheggs.co.uk/scotch-egg-style/artisan-scotch-eggs artisan scotch egg supplier].] No sign of any string

Pliudev · 07/03/2014 16:36

Thought mine was bad when he made a sandwich with 4oz of (solid) parmesan cheese.

MsOrange · 07/03/2014 15:02

He is so lucky you hadn't put meal worms in them...

Lastminutelizzie · 07/03/2014 15:02

I have tears rolling down my face reading this post - thank you, haven't laughed so much for ages - it's made my day !

StrangeGlue · 07/03/2014 14:41

My cats once hunted a fat ball and I thought that was thick...

Love it!

dingit · 07/03/2014 14:26

Love this. Thank god he didn't eat the string. Just think, he would have made you a lovely necklace, with beads of shit.

Quangle · 07/03/2014 14:17

Please tease him relentlessly about this.

"Pass me the salt would you starling - I mean, darling!" type of thing.

"

Quangle · 07/03/2014 14:13

this is a brilliant thread. So much to enjoy.

Love Termagant and Bluestocking's poems (thinking of changing my name to Martinet just to be in their gang).

Love artisan scotch eggs (the new Greggs sausage roll, surely)

It's all reminiscent of the brilliant swearing and cakes thread.

OP I'm guessing it wouldn't be much of a stretch for your DH to eat a version of the Blue Peter dog food cake they used to make for the pets' birthdays?

PuppyMonkey · 07/03/2014 12:30

Has anybody Tweeted this yet? I think I might... Tweet...geddit?Wink

Bluestocking · 07/03/2014 12:19

I love Termagant's poem. My DP is a Scoffyfucker, he eats everything in sight, and to him I dedicate this version.

This Is Just to Say

I have eaten
the leftover pasta bake
that was in
the icebox

and which
you were probably
saving
for your lunch tomorrow

Forgive me
it was delicious
so carby
and so cheesy

Owllady · 07/03/2014 10:30

Pmsl
And I thought mine was bad for eating a bowl of funny tasting onion rings and not realising it was actually calamari

greathat · 07/03/2014 09:11

This is absolutely brilliant!

Howdidiigethere · 06/03/2014 23:17

My OH just walked in on me snorting with laughter so I tried to explain why. He looked at me blankly so I tried again. Nope, still not getting it. Hmm, I'm slightly worried that he's now thinking "damn, why didn't i think of that? I know we've got some fatballs in the back of the shed somewhere . . . "

BankWadger · 06/03/2014 21:36

OP I was in The Works today and saw these bird seed cake kits at the till and thought they would be the perfect gift for your DH Grin

necklaceofraindrops · 06/03/2014 21:28

I am bent double with laughter at artisan scotch egg!! Grin

Dilidali · 06/03/2014 21:10

This is the funniest thing I have ever read!!! Artisan scotch egg. Classic!

shelley1977 · 06/03/2014 20:55

The children keep asking me what's wrong as I'm laughing so much!

MyFirstName · 06/03/2014 20:53

Thank you so much for this - I so needed it Grin

Pimmpom · 06/03/2014 20:47

Absolutely brilliant! Grin Hope he never has the cheek to say he doesn't like anything you've cooked. Can you imagine "Didn't really enjoy the Sunday Roast this week dear" Grin

mill3003 · 06/03/2014 20:41

OMG, I can't breathe I'm laughing so much. "What fucking recipe starts with string as an ingredient" love it!

Original poster
ManifestoMT · 06/03/2014 20:34

Years ago my mum got a sleeping pill from a friend when we were travelling on a ferry overnight.

She took it faffed for a bit and then cleaned her teeth with mycel athlete foot cream .
I still laugh at this now.

OP posts: