To ask you to tell me a story where your DC have humiliated you...

DS went through a stage of calling out "DADDY!!!" to every black man he saw. We live in a very white area, the only black man he knew at the time was DH... I got a lot of from the accused but I was mortified!

He got a sticker from the lady in the greengrocer. Woman behind him acted impressed and asked if she could have one too. DS declared "Nope, stickers are for little boys and you are a old lady!"

My 12 year old told his stepmum he heard me fart in the room above him that morning, I was present at the time but found it really funny as I knew he was completely making it up. I'm sure she just thought I was lying in bed farting like some windy slattern.

Like steff I've had my toddler try to pull down my top and scream, 'these are my mummy' s boobies' whilst having a chat with someone who was a mere acquaintance. The joys of extended bf I guess.

They are normally extremely polite, well brought up boys...honest.

My best friend's son, at about age three, was taken to Easter Mass. As such young children will do, he began to fidgit. His dear Grandmother whispered to him "Now Tommy, don't you want to be good for Jesus?" And Tommy replied, clear as a bell, "No! I hate Jesus!" Tommy is now twenty two and will never live that one down...

Last weeks daughter (10) was asked by her guidance counselor what her career goal is. She thought about it and I assumed she was going to say 'biologist' or 'geneticist' as she is keen to be just like her father. No - apparently her new choice is 'cashier'. This lead to a discussion about how cashiers don't get to keep all the money in the tills and that it is a job, not a career (the guidance counselor told her all this). Fast forward to the weekend and we went to the video store - a local one run by some true movie lovers and their very loyal staff. Right at the till, in front of the owner and several employees, she asks "mommy, is working in the video store a career, or is it a dead end job like a cashier?" - that was a fun one to wriggle out of.

MIL got my DS1 a rocking chair for his birthday and he asked if it had vibrators meaning like DC2's baby bouncer. Then he looked MIL in the eye and said "do you have a vibrator".

DD, aged 3, saw a very fat man standing beside us, huffing and puffing, while we waited to cross the street.
She asked very loudly, if the "the man was having constractions?"She may not have got the word quite right, but he knew what she meant!

When breast feeding in public, my DD daughter decided to unlatch and lean back to scream like she was being murdered which resulted in everyone turning to look at me with my breast fully on show

She also went through a stage of calling random men 'dad' because she thought dad meant man

Told my grandmother's minister that mummy didn't believe in God, she believes in wine....

#1 son, at age 2, pulled down my shirt at the library and said "boobies."

At age 3, he went up to a man at the park that and told him he shouldn't smoke because smoking is "bad, and yucky, and it will make you sick."
At age 6, we took him to the ER because we thought he had appendicitis. They took his temperature rectally, which he had never experienced before. They sent us back out to the waiting room, and he suddenly shouted (REALLY loudly), "hey, what did that guy do to my butt?!"

#2 son, at age 2, told the cashier at Target she didn't have a penis because she was a girl, and girls don't have penises.

At age 3, he pointed at a woman we followed out of the ladies' room at Walmart and said, "mommy, that lady didn't wash her hands!" in front of all of the people waiting to check out.

DD (speaking loudly in local language): Mummy, that lady is really fat!
Me (in English): Don't say that, it's really rude.
DD (in local language): Mummy, why are you telling me in English not to say that lady there is really fat?

My little brother shouted at a couple walking their dog at the beach 'Look its the ugliest dog in the world!' and 'There it is again!' when they walked by.