Things I still wonder why the hell I did that as a kid...

We used to borrow my friend's granddad's wheelbarrow. One of us had to get in and was covered up with a blanket. Then we wheeled them up and down the road. When we stopped the 'passenger' had to guess what house number we were outside of. Then we would change places.

I mean wtaf! We played that for an entire summer!

Snapping off rose thorns and sticking them onto our noses with spit and pretending to be a rhino. That killed an hour or two.

Knocking on neighbours doors and asking if we could please clean their houses! The term black affronted comes to mind.

Oh the shame!

This is a bad thread - I keep remembering shameful things!

I fancied a 6th form boy when I was in 4th Year, and actually worked out his entire timetable, wrote it out, and coloured it in very carefully.

My friend and I then worked out exactly where we had to sit in each class so that we could see him through the windows. We used to make sure we walked past him between lessons.

Never actually spoke to him, mind you. I don't think he knew I existed.

Then turned out that another boy in his year was effectively stalking me throughout the same year. We ended up going out for 6 months when I was in 6th form, and he could recite my entire timetable for my 4th yeat classes.

Amazed any of us actually got an O Level.

I once spent an entire day, aged 12, pretending my knee had "locked" in place! Why? I've no idea, but made for some difficulty getting up the stairs to the top deck of the school bus!

Im still crying at that OP

sunshine I did similar!!!
I made a list of all the lads I knew and rated them out of five ON LOOKS ! My nan found it and thought I was the town hussy I don't think she believed me either

Judge the magic nostril !!

I will explain later.

I used to text the local pirate radio station and get them to give a shout out to me and a list of teenagers, so that people would think I was having around with these cool kids

I also had a huge crush on a boy (about 15) and was convinced I was in love , we had a song and everything, I wrote in my diary that I had slept with him, mum read my diary and went ballistic, I then had to spend weeks trying to convince her that I hadn't and I had made it all up, I don't think she ever did believe me

When I was 7 my parents told me I was changing schools and that my new school was a Church of England school.
On the last day of term we had a full school assembly and the teachers called me and a few other kids who were leaving up to the front. They asked each of us to tell everyone where we were going and when they got to me my answer was "The School of England". When a teacher asked if I was sure I started questioning myself out loud. I must of spent a few minutes up there saying "is it the school of England? Yes it is the school of England. Wow it must be such a good school." Etc. Etc. Etc.
Good job I was leaving.

I've just googled and 0800 282930 is still the sex line for under 18s

Oh god Heir I did that too - "I really admire you for your acting, I'm not just writing to you because you're good looking, I think you're very talented at your job"

DOF girls, bloody brilliant!!

madmammy this will out me if they're here, but my two BFs (and still are, they were my bridesmaids last year) wrote to Paul Nicholls explaining at great lengths why they were not like the other crazy fans, but were in fact 'DOF girls' - different, original and friendly I think the idea was that he would think they were very nice and down to earth and didn't just want him to love them, so a deep and meaningful friendship would form...

Sunshine that reminds me of when me and a few mates decided you had to shave the back of your head, so anywhere from the ears down had to come off. I hated it! As did the rest of my mates needless to say we all grew our hair back in

Oh, and I went to choir for four whole years, despite the fact I a) can't sing very well and b) was so angonizingly conscious of this fact I couldn't bring myself to do anything other than mouth the words. Because I had a crush on the lass in the year above.

Miss Weaver, if you are out there, with your strange capacity to sing the baritone line, I have now realized that you knew and that this is why you got a strange look in your eye every time you caught sight of me. I'm sorry. It was very silly of me. But I did enjoy the carols.

Oh, gosh. I think I spent my whole childhood in a state of bewilderment/daftness. bits, we did the same with birds' eggs. I think we'd assumed birds always sat on them so if the bird wasn't there, it was abandoned.

Aged 4, my favourite thing to do was get on my trike at the top of the hill where our house was and put my feet on the handlebars so they didn't get in the way of the peddles whirring round, then let my brother let go so that I sailed down the hill and, at the bottom curve, swept off the pavement into the road.

I used to play with penknives (which we were not allowed), and if I got cut, I poured hot liquid wax from a candle (also not allowed) onto the cut in the belief it'd stop the bleeding. Not just once; this was a regular thing.

My teacher set us a project to write about the work of a living artist we'd met. I'd never met an artist. Instead of, you know, saying so or asking my parents, I made up a completely fictional woman with a completely fictional career and style. Which was extremely obviously fake, now I look back.

Sorry for spamming but I just remembered one more.

I was madly in love with Paul Nicholls when he was on Eastenders and I read in Smash Hits that he had a girlfriend called Elizabeth, I wrote him a beautifully illustrated fan letter declaring my undying love for him, and finished it off with a picture of a knife saying

"P.S: If you don't dump Elizabeth, I'LL KILL HER"

Thank god I never sent it!!

I've just remembered something. We spent a lot of time at the house of friends who lived in a pub. If our parents were downstairs boozing (ahh, the early 90s) we used to play Murder In The Dark and turn off all the lights, pull all the curtains, and us 4 girls would all run around from whoever got the "Murderer" on their bit of paper. One night I was the murderer, and I couldn't find any of the girls, so I burst into their older brother's bedroom at around 1am, whacked the light switch and leapt on his bed screaming "I got you!" - I'll never forget the look on his face as long as I live, he nearly shat himself.

He's married with kids now and I still blush whenever I bump into him!!

Crying at this thread, it should go to classics if it hasn't already!

I used to get glue and pour it all over my hands, let it dry and then peel it all off. Over time I moved on to Superglue. Many a time I pulled skin & all off. I went into the local shop once and the lady behind the till cried "Oh my god, you poor thing, what happened your hands?" My honest response was that I'd put glue all over my hands and had left it to "settle" so I could get a really good pick going when I got home, and it had already started to peel, but nope, I told her I'd been in a fire??!!

Also something really stupid I used to do was if I fancied someone, I'd try to BE them. I had a crush on a teacher on a course once when I was about 17 and I found out he liked Fleetwood Mac, David Bowie, and Man United through "ice-breaking" exercises we did in the class. I bought a new Man U jersey the day it came out - he said "nice jersey, I haven't gotten mine yet, you're quick off the mark!" and I thought that was code for "I love you, have my babies". I also developed an obsession with David Bowie just so I could bring him up in conversation, I used to sit in my room reading books about him and watching Ziggy Stardust over and over. And I hummed "Tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies" within earshot of him. Absolute mortification.

For years, I told people I was allergic to coconuts, even announcing it in Home Ec class when they used coconut milk in a recipe and I couldn't have any. If any of my friends had a Bounty bar I'd act like it was anthrax and make a very big deal about nobody touching me as I'd go into anaphylactic shock. Even now any time I see coconut as an ingredient I think twice about it.

I'm not allergic to coconuts.......

I tried to shave my eyebrows once and shaved off half of one, didn't live that one down for a while!

Me and my friends used to spray impulse on our school jumpers and sniff it and think we were high

I have done lots of these including selling rose water 'perfume'

I used to sing opera songs into a hairbrush and think I was really good, god knows I must've given my mum some laughs

We used to ring 0800 numbers and I can still remember the sex line number ( 0800 28 29 30)

I used to make up terrible lies too, I don't know how anyone ever believed them

I'm another one who tried to sharpen my little finger. I didn't want my DM to call me stupid so I untwisted it myself and then tore off the whole nail getting my finger free. I told my DM that I didn't know how it happened.

I once saw a cooking program which used petals so the next day I ate about half a dozen dandelions during morning break at school. I vomited a lot and again, I repeatedly said I didn't know how it happened, only no one was asking that time as they just assumed I had a bug of some sort.

When I was about 8-9 a group of the popular girls at school were arguing about whether babies come out of the wee or poo hole. As I was the quiet type, I was obviously not also clever and so I was asked which it was. I couldn't imagine how anyone could wee out a baby so I said they came out the poo hole and that was their argument settled. Funnily enough there was one girl who was insistent they came out of neither and there was a third hole. She was an idiot, laughed at for a bit and then ignored.

In secondary school we also did the phoning 0800 numbers,from the one pay phone while a queue of kids who actually needed to call someone waited. Our favourite was the pot noodle one as the call handlers always replied professionally no matter how stupid the questions were.(can you cook pot noodle with cold water/ milk/ coffee, can you live off only pot noodle, can you fall in love and marry pot noodle, etc.) The supervisors must of been over their shoulders permanently judging by how patient they were.

I am itching to twist my chin.

I am literally crying! DD keeps looking concerned ans asking if I'm ok.

Aged around 5 or 6 I would occasionally wee on my bedroom carpet and blame it on the poor dog. Then my bf told me she weed behind the sofa if there was something good on telly and she didn't want to miss it so I felt vindicated.

In primary school some friends and I started a club called "The Fucking Club" because we were so cool and grown up that we actually swore! We had membership cards that one of my friends made on her computer. It was a painstakingly drawn picture of a hand flipping the bird, that she'd done in Paint.

One last one, we used to make little polystyrene cubes, then stick double sided Sellotape to the bottom and stick a feather in the top, then drop them out the window onto people's heads. That was REALLY funny. But quite demented!!!

This made me laugh so much!

Oh I recognise so many of these!

I also had an entire stable of imaginary horses, and spent a whole year on horseback in the playground. The teachers used to wait for us to put them in the stable before starting lessons.

At upper school, we all wore leather shoe laces aaround our arms (in the style of Aha). We bought them from the cobblers in the village, who clearly thought we were bonkers. We had to take them off for PE, so the next lesson was spent with the teacher walking up and down the rows of desks tying the knots for us.

I fancied a boy who had a saturday job in Rumbelows, and went in to buy batteries every week.

Oh, and I got my period in a physics lesson. Very scared of the teacher, so I took my sock off and stuffed it down my knickers rather than going to the loo.

I have another.

When in Junior school (in Kent where I was born and raised) me and my bf decided to pretend we were from some far flung exotic place that used different words.

It would go something like;

'Can you do a handstand?'

'No, that's not a handstand that's a cartwheel'

'Yes it is'

Oh, it must mean something different here, we don't speak the language here, we're from Lincoln.'

Fucking twats we were