Things I still wonder why the hell I did that as a kid...

When I was 13 or 14, riding my bicycle to school along a busy road, I suddenly decided to see what it would be like for a blind person to ride a bike. Shut my eyes, & rode into the back bumper of a parked van, needless to say. A kind man came rushing to see if I was all right... If only he knew

I love cats - we used to have 4 at home when I was at primary school. Clearly I started to identify with them a bit too much as I went through a phase of washing myself like one. Just sitting there, at my desk, a seven year old licking my arms...

My dad used to get me and my brother out the house at least once a week for either a bike ride or, in the winter, for cross country skiing (Scandinavia). We were lazy and hated cross country (v. hard, sweaty work), so once when we were around 7 and 9, instead of taking our own ski boots along, we took the next ones up (I took mum's, little brother took mine). We thought that was an ingenious and funny way to get out of having to ski. Dad near enough exploded with anger when we got to the ski lodge and noticed what we had done. We didn't have to ski, but never dared pull that one again, either..

When I was 12 and on a riding camp, my period suddenly came on. I had no pads with me and was too shy to ask for any, so fashioned my own. I ripped a piece out of a plastic bag to be the base, then nicked a big sheet of cotton wool from one of the girls working at the stables and wound a lot of toilet roll around this contraption. I attached it to my pants by winding more toilet paper around the "pad" and my gusset . I used the same pad for the remaining 3 days, only replaced the top layer or toilet roll with fresh stuff.

redrubyindigo - love the story about your dad.

I nearly killed my grandad when I was about 12. I convinced him to go on a rollercoaster with me, promised him it was like a kids train it was actually one of the biggest rides in Australia!!

It had loops and everything!

Then he got revenge when we stopped and the controller said we could go round again as it was the last ride of the day. My grandad made the staff come and let him off. He was white and shaking.

Awful but hilarious. He was only in his 50's so I wasn't abusing a pensioner

Me and my friends all used to sleep at mine aged about 13 and then we used to creep out at about midnight and just go roaming around the really dark woods wearing just our pyjamas. Once me and a friend thought it would be a really good idea to 'borrow' my dad's honda scooter so I took the keys and helmets and she tried to start it with me on the back and we crashed it into the road. Instead of owning up we then proceeded to go on midnight wander and then we crept back into my house and then in the morning denied all knowledge of the crashed scooter. Weirdly my parents never questioned why my pyjamas were covered in mud and the drinks cabinet was half empty.

Also I used to do this weird thing of putting on a really awful Cockney accent whenever I fancied anyone. I am from the Somerset. The very thought of this makes me cringe even now. I was single A LOT in my teens.

I also told people in primary school I only had 4 weeks to live, right before the 6 week holidays

A girl in high school pretended to have amnesia once, kept it up for weeks, with girls guiding her round school, pointing out things like 'table' and 'pen' for her. I was quite a cynical teen and called bullshit but lots of people fell for it. Her memory miraculously came back once the novelty wore off!

Does anyone eremember doing handstands against the wall at school, spreading your legs into a v shape and another girl doing one right behind you until someones arms gave out and you all fell in a heap? Yeah, they banned us doing that. Can't imagine why.

ooh I was also in the official Spice Girls fanclub.

Did anybody else know at least one person in late primary or very early secondary school who claimed to be pregnant?

My party trick aged 7 was to eat the sticker on my apple. Every lunchtime. For months. That was until my teacher spotted me and told me off. Don't remember what he said to me or know if he lied to me but I do remember that I had nightmares after that, that inside my stomach it looked like a 1930's suitcase covered in lots of different shaped stickers.

I also thought that lipstick made from licking a red skittle and wiping it over my lips actually looked good.

When I was 12ish I accidentally dipped my hair in a pot of gloss paint whilst painting a skirting board. Then without telling my mum what had happened, I tried to shampoo it out...

I had to have the next morning off school while my mum took me for an emergency haircut.

And how could I forget this classic? My father brought a Dymo machine home from work to make some labels. I, aged about 15 at the time, made a label that said "My new name is David Fatchett" (his name is David, but our surname isn't Fatchett) and stuck it to the back of his suit jacket. The next morning he was leaving for work, and (thankfully) my mother spotted it. Imagine if he'd gone to work with it still attached! His colleagues would have ridiculed him! At the time he was in senior management. What was I thinking??

When we were about 8, my best friend Helen and I invented a "game" whereby I would dance around the room holding my Girl's World head as if it were a dance partner. We pretended that the head was Jayne Torvill, and I was Christopher Dean. Helen would watch, give a score, and then take the head and play the part of Dean. We spent hours doing this. Literally hours.

Several years later, we both had a huge teenage crush on Bjork. At one point, we decided that this wasn't "normal" (although we both later came out as lesbians!) so we racked our brains to think of another public figure to obsess over. We settled on President John F Kennedy. This was in 1995...

My dad, brother and I also did (and still do) the sneaking up and putting a peg on someone. We usually just go for one or two which means the person is more likely to actually lave the house still wearing it. My dad and brother also spend a lot of time putting annoying things in annoying places to... annoy each other. My Dad has a particular hatred of the silver foil from the orange juice carton opening so my brother hides it in his socks, shoes, books, etc. When I was younger he took all the horrible old hair from my hairbrish and left it on my dad's flannel! Fortunately my mum found and removed it before my dad did.

Was 16 and on my third job.. Bought a sunray lamp from colleague's catalogue and rushed home to use it. The next day she said she could see that I'd used it already, and I sat there with my badly burned bright red face and chest, and white goggle shaped eyes, and insisted I hadn't used it yet.... and literally!

I once decided to get changed into my netball gear whilst in the middle of a French class. No idea why and it turned out very badly when the French teacher trailed off slowly what he was saying and just gawped at me open mouthed. This was while I was sat their with my school skirt half way around my ankles and the socks and shoes on the floor beside me. Pooor man was speechless.

I did have a netball match after his lesson but we were always given plenty of time to get changed so not quite sure why I felt the need to do this

Awesome thread!

I stuck chewing gum behind my ear like violet bearegarde
And ate dog biscuits
And set fire to water - I was very impressed with this, I sprayed aerosol into a glass half full of water and then dropped a match in. Blue flames across the surface of the water! Then got scared and threw the whole lot out of my bedroom window.
I stole a blackbirds egg from a nest and tried to hatch it in my bedroom. Didn't work. Feel v bad now.

Remember Puff the magic dragon ??

Well me and dp (( known each other since I was very young )) Got hold of the local drug dealers phone number and would spend many a happy hour singing the song down the phone, only we'd replace puff with 'judge the magic nostril'.

We'd also leave stories of mr and mrs nose and their baby nostrils on his answering machine. He was Scottish and I can still hear him screeching, ' Ya wee fuckers, am gonna find ye, and when I do am gonna facking kill yus'.

I wanted a dog, so would often bring random ones home.

When that failed I decided a cat would slip in more unnoticed.......that also failed.

Mother finally got fed up of fending off irate cat owners so got me one, me and my friends would dress her up in dolls clothes and push her around in a silver cross dolls pram, being a bit thick and very lazy, she was more than happy to comply.

If it had been raining we'd stand on the wall beside the phone box and scrape the water onto the head of whoever came out.

The list goes on.......I will be back !!

Oh god, there were lots involving my little brother. I was pretty awful to him. One summer when we were camping, my brother (then maybe 7 or 8 years old) didn't want to go to the loos, as they stank. So, instead, I egged him on to go for a poo behind one of the porta cabin kind of things, while I "kept watch". He carefully took off his jacket, hat and gloves (it was a chilly autumn evening) and squatted. I nearly pissed myself laughing when I realised that he had accidentally backed up too far and was actually now squatting on his discarted clothes. Result: a mortified DB, an entertained (but scolded by DPs) me, and a poo covered jacket, set of gloves and hat (it was a big poo that rolled about). Neither the hat or the gloves were ever worn again, as they were now known as the poo hat and poo gloves (even after washing, of course).

My friends and I found a human poo inside a climbing frame/slide thing at a playground. It had to be human because you had to climb a ladder to get into the little house bit. So naturally, being mature and sensible 12 year olds, we set fire to it (the poo, not the play equipment) with a lighter and a can of hairspray.

What do we learn from this?

1. Poo does not burn well.
2. We were bloody bonkers.

I used to keep my finger nail clippings and show people when they came round!!!! Didnt even remember this until i was reminded as a teenager. How embarrasing.

Just remembered another one.....

I was a huge fan of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory book as a child....and fascinated by the fact that Violet Beauregarde used to stick her chewing gum behind her ear at mealtimes etc......

You've guessed the rest haven't you?

Took the hairdresser ages to cut it out and make me look presentable again!

Love this thread.....

I strapped the parcel shelf (it was in two bits after i pretended to be a dog and tried to curl up on it) to DB arms, put a skateboard helmet on him and convinced him he would be able to fly if he jumped off the shed.... Luckily my mum caught us and stopped him from actually jumping... He was 4 lol

I had a tiny tears that you fed water and she would wee, for some reason i wanted her to poop as well so carefully filled her with wheatabix mushed up with milk (i thought it looked like poop) needless to say it didnt come out as expected, so rather than get in trouble i stuffed it under the bed.... 3 months on and DM is investigating the rotting corpse smell coming from my bedroom and found tiny tears with mould growing out if her eyes and mouth and through her hair follicules up each strand of synthetic hair, looked like a horrific hair dye job.

When i was 4, i wanted a bottle to use to feed my baby, rather than ask like a sane person, i found a chair, then put a stool on top, then topped that with three books and our toilet step thing to enable me to reach the cupboard above the oven housing, helped myself to the bottle of benylin (yep newly opened so full and pre child proof caps) obviously i couldnt use it full that would be silly and wasteful to throw it down the sink and if i am honest i loved the taste so... Yep you guessed it i drank the lot, then had to spend two days in hospital having had my stomach pumped... Cant touch the stuff without retching now though... And my poor DM had loads of explaining to do.

We also had a game involving secretly clipping pegs onto people to see how many we could manage before getting caught, many was the time my parents went out unsuspectingly wearing loads of pegs on their backs... Worse of all we still do this when we get together at christmas etc... Not a clue why its so funny...